the best (non) choice i made after splitting up with my long term gf was to never go on dating apps. using them is so soul destroying lmao

Album Rating: 5.0

"I dunno. They say it’s better to have loved and lost… but I think that’s bullshit. I’m way more miserable mulling over what could’ve and should’ve been than just being my regular sad sack self."



It's the nature of being human. You think you're feeling the loss more intensely than you ever felt the love, but you'll second-guess that thought in time.

hard [2] every relationship i've gotten out of was terrible in the moment but when i look back i realize how much better my life is. there's a reason it ended and if it was ever going to work out, well, it would have

Album Rating: 4.0

Time heals all wounds brothers

Album Rating: 4.5

thanks guys, at least jewelry store was pretty sympathetic and gave me a full refund, thank fucking Christ I didn’t go for any engravings



I nearly broke down in that fucking store though smh, I guess im probably not the only sad fuckin idiot to do so

Album Rating: 4.5

You're not an idiot. Just sad. And that's okay.

Album Rating: 4.5

like getting hammered and swiping on hinge



Yes like that.



You’ll get through this man. It’ll be better on the other side.

Album Rating: 4.5

I hope you guys are right. It’s been 8 months and everything still just feels wrong.

Album Rating: 4.5

'the best (non) choice i made after splitting up with my long term gf was to never go on dating apps. using them is so soul destroying lmao'



I know this too well, been trying for years to get something long lasting out of them and have never had much luck.

Album Rating: 4.5

"I don’t mean to dump all my shit everywhere but my own Deftones loving friends definitely don’t want to hear about this shit and im still bitter as fuck."

Can relate. Sorry to hear man, breakups suck.

Album Rating: 5.0

"I hope you guys are right. It’s been 8 months and everything still just feels wrong."



That's grief, brother. You lost the supposed love of your life who you intended to have a long future with. The brain acts weird as shit when you're going through that sort of loss. I journaled some stuff yesterday because I was getting hit really hard thinking about my mom and I wrote that I was living in an "unreality" or some other reality where my life has branched off into something I wasn't prepared for. Problem is that there's no going backwards. I have to accept that I don't have the answers nor can I avoid the spontaneous attacks that seem to come from nowhere.

If I could offer any advice (and this was something my therapist told me a couple of weeks ago): think of where you are as part of the hero's journey. What will you look back on and think about one or two years from now? That you let your sadness consume you and cause you to devalue yourself? Or, that you suffered these trials and learned what sort of strength your inner self really has?

Album Rating: 4.0

"I know this too well, been trying for years to get something long lasting out of them and have never had much luck."



My brother and I both met our wives through those so I can attest that it's possible but that was also like a decade ago and I hear they've changed (for the worse) so maybe not idk



Hugs all around to all my dudes in chat who need one

Album Rating: 4.0

I also hate having things that I once loved ruined after their once positive association with a time/place/person turns sour. It's never the same again. Fortunately there are endless things waiting to take the place of those tarnished things



"I dunno. They say it’s better to have loved and lost… but I think that’s bullshit. I’m way more miserable mulling over what could’ve and should’ve been than just being my regular sad sack self." - I relate to this sentiment into my very core. It sucks in the sense that you now know what you're missing and you are left wanting something you now are aware of.



Listen to the angry/sad/happy musics as needed and shit will get better

yeah i met my long time ex on a dating app as well but it was also like 10 years ago and the experience has def changed. they've increasingly preyed on (read: monetized) lonely dudes knowing the deck is stacked against them and it's just so fucking yuck to me. having your self-worth reduced to a short profile and a left or right swipe is brutal. takes some serious mental fortitude to deal with. i've honestly had better ~romantic~ success going about my life as normal doing my hobbies etc and meeting people organically. the nature of it being less transactional has worked out better in my experience. but you can find success on a dating app too! helps if you follow rule 1 and 2 as well

Album Rating: 4.5

that’s a good way of looking at it Christbait… yeah I relate to that.



I dunno. There’s a sense of closure with the grief that’s attached to death, you know what happened, we all die. But I still don’t even know where it went wrong, fucking keeps me up at night.

Album Rating: 3.5

The way I saw dating apps was they do get you some dates which forces you out there and then the dates sharpen up you knowing what you're looking for and seeing the signs of when you're just not compatible. I think 99% of the time people don't find a long term partner on one.



Far as i was concerned they were like the gym, you build up and then take those positives to the real world.



If I hadn't been dating on dating apps for two years before the night I met my wife I don't know if I'd have had the confidence to approach her and chat a load in a relaxed way, and I don't know if I'd have had the clear thinking to know I had to ask her on a date asap after that first meeting.



She said if I'd had waited 48 hours after to contact her after such a good night she wouldn't have responded to my texts lol - so overall dating apps were indirectly helpful and did at least make 'taking the first step' absolute second nature for me. I realise for some men they already have that but I def needed practice with that at the time.



I wouldn't be surprised if they've got worse since 15 years ago though.

Album Rating: 4.5

When I first separated from my wife…well, a year later, when I felt ready…I got on dating apps. Went on a bunch of dates, some hook-ups, and had two 3 month “relationships”…but ultimately nothing long lasting.



I’m now in a more serious relationship, but it’s with a co-worker. We worked together for a year, now been together 5 months. It’s fairly serious as we gradually got to know each other, rather than forced dates etc.



I also met my ex wife of 20 years through work. So yeah, I think it’s the more natural friends or co-workers first situations where you gradually get to know and fall for each other, that tend to last longer…because you build a really solid foundation that’s predicated on friendship rather than a somewhat forced/artificial romantic connection.



Dating apps can work. I’d say there’s no harm in using them IF you have the mindset that you shouldn’t put all your eggs in that basket. Don’t have the scarcity mindset. Women can smell it and don’t like it. Give yourself options.

Album Rating: 4.5

Doof’s post is really insightful and very true. Take heed.

Album Rating: 4.5

what is this r/tinder in r/deftones

Album Rating: 3.5

https://pastewaves.com/player/cdc82687-9d9c-42cb-a308-cdb43c4767ec



doing a briana cover