Review Summary: Well Fuck.
I never expected any different.
For many years, I searched for the perfect post-avant Jazzstep album. Stooma was a complete triumph, but lacked the approval of Crandynewman, so I was sure it couldn't be as perfect as my amateur ears made it out to be. I had almost given up hope, but then I noticed a review of 'Fantastimo Journey' on the front page of this website. I read the review, and it almost seemed too good to be true. I wasted no time in listening to the EP and spent the next week on my bed weeping with joy into my pillow. I had found it, after so long searching.
Fantastimo Journey changed my life. I was almost certain I'd found the gods of music. Then they released this.
That is where the first flaw in the work comes, as I mention the word 'they'. Fantastimo started as the pure unadulterated work of a single man (god?) with just his keyboard, his voice, and his lack of knowledge of 'on' buttons. As I listened to his debut EP, I could feel his entire soul washing over me; this was truly the work of a man putting his whole heart into his work. After listening to Fantastimo Voyage, I am sure that the devil himself has taken the form of a bassist and is paying back Fantastimo for making a deal with him for infinite music talent. The bassist is the tumour which hangs off of Fantastimo, producing a constant stream of bad ideas. It is really apparent in the music. Whilst Fantastimo Journey had a really whole feel to it, crammed full of innovation and ingenuity, Fantastimo Voyage sounds empty and heartless. Whenever the bass plays, you can hear the sounds of a thousand kittens having their heads crushed by KILL.
Another shortcoming of this album is quite ironic, being that the album drags out for far too long. Fantastimo Journey managed to cram all of it's perfection into a simple 88 seconds. Now it feels like Fantastimo is trying to drag out his album as long as possible, hoping to lure people in with the promise of a whopping 449 seconds (which for all of you who failed maths, is 5 times as long) worth of fantastic music. He doesn't live up to his promise though, and has brought extreme misery to my life.
There is some redemption amongst the piles of *** though. At the end of, 'Are You There God? It's Me, Robert,' a single chord is played to finish the album. While not played on his usual soul spurting keyboard, it is played on a guitar with such beauty and craftsmanship, it reminded me of what made Fantastimo Journey so great. However, it couldn't make up for the rest of the album, even if it was played for the entire 449 seconds.
I suppose we couldn't expect Fantastimo to follow up his masterpiece with something equal or better, but the horror of this album which has been brought upon us should have a layer of hell reserved for it. Preferably one close to the surface. We love you Fantastimo, just never, never, NEVER create an abomination like this again.
