CelestialOuroboros
Jared Floryan
User

Reviews 14
Approval 95%

Soundoffs 96
Album Ratings 135
Objectivity 82%

Last Active 08-28-14 4:10 pm
Joined 07-12-14

Forum Posts 0
Review Comments 435

musical taste

Chart.
favorite bands
Psyopus Ideas of Reference
3.5
08.23.14
Avril Lavigne The Best Damn Thing
It's a step backwards from the melancholy that was Under My Skin, although not necessarily a huge one. I have to say: the decision to revert back to a more energetic, bubbly style for The Best Damn Thing must've been tough for Avril Lavigne.... aw, who am I kidding? It was predictable. Out of her first three albums, this is the one I consider my biggest guilty pleasure - and for good reason. Many of the tracks are catchy as all heck and the 'pop punk princess' couldn't sound any better, but this album's main setback is the lyrical content; you would think Avril would stop rattling her long, blonde hair at ex's for a change a
3.0
08.23.14
Made Out of Babies The Ruiner
Whereas Coward by Made Out of Babies was a thrilling release with certain quirks - such as holding a consistent tempo and a weird album cover to boot - you can think of the band's final album, The Ruiner, as its more twisted sister. Indeed, this album is home to some incredibly dark material, such as "The Major" and "Grimace"; but it does feature a slightly accessible tune in "Invisible Ink" (the keyword is 'slightly'). Julie's vocals are still as wonderful as ever and, at times, she can be intimidating (hear the beginning of "Cooker" to get the proof). As a whole, The Ruiner is a gracefully disturb
5.0
08.23.14
Shemales From Outta Space Of Death You Never Get A Cannibal-Blowjob Twice
With a name such as Shemales From Outta Space of Death, you would be pretty dumb to believe that this German twosome has remotely interesting qualities. At its core, You Never Get a Cannibal-Blowjob Twice - a title with more narm than the band's moniker - is basically mediocre deathcore which Julian and Roman try to help make special via Nintendo-centric beats and a lil' bit of electronica. There are actually some fun tracks on this EP ("Elektro-Partys Machen Mich Kaputt" and "Shemale Unser"), but the other three songs are relatively dull at best; laughably bad at the most, though.
2.0
08.23.14
Lacuna Coil Unleashed Memories
Haunting and euphonious all at once, Unleashed Memories is simply a formidable Gothic rock album drenched in the beauty of Cristina Scabbia's utmost singing, which goes hand-in-hand with Andrea's more direct approach. The full-length effort has this, and dazzling riffs. At this point, if you're still one to enjoy having your head up Amy Lee's forceful ass - not that I'm attempting to sound offensive - I suggest you start experiencing the ethereal presence that is Lacuna Coil.
4.0
08.23.14
Discordance Axis Jouhou
I really don't think grindcore has ever sounded as deep-rooted - albeit seeping with technicality - as Jouhou. The frenzied vocals stored in Discordance Axis' arsenal come into play effectively alongside the kinetic drumming, calculated riffs, and... well, to summarize, this band has created an ogre of a record, swallowing the contents of the listener's ear in the process.
4.5
08.23.14
Black Tongue Born Hanged
In all honesty, I'm fairly certain that - somewhere in this convoluted, assfuckery of a world - GOOD deathcore exists. As Black Tongue demonstrates within their EP Born Hanged, I still need more time to seek answers. This band entirely proved the stupidity of the 'tough guy' aesthetic, as well as having the need to pander to - whatever's even left of them - their fans with drawn-out breakdowns. The EP's gloomier atmosphere doesn't even help Black Tongue in their case, simply fueling just how thoughtless the recording unto itself was.
1.0
08.23.14

shoutbox » all posts 
  • CalculatingInfinity Agreed wholeheartly, so much trouble writing reviews :/
    August 22 12:55 PM
  • CalculatingInfinity I had a bunch of fun reading your soundoffs, good stuff man.
    August 22 11:52 AM
  • emester Sorry bout that :[
    August 20 11:28 PM
  • emester Its alright, I've heard worse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=br5tyuEUBWE
    August 20 10:59 PM
  • emester omfg that was on a new plain of awful.
    August 20 09:58 PM

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