Lil Romeo
Lil Romeo


1.0
awful

Review

by Mr. Lean Mug USER (112 Reviews)
June 21st, 2006 | 39 replies | 3,733 views


Release Date: 2001 | Tracklist


4 of 5 thought this review was well written

My relatives suck at giving gifts. Well, they suck at giving them to me, at least. I’ve received some really lousy stuff in my day for Christmas, Birthdays, etc. Now, I never really complain, because I don’t have a right to, and because I generally don’t care about what I get. However, one thing that really irks me is when my family members purchase music for me. With the exception of my immediate family (and a select few others), my kin have a very poor grasp on what type of music I like. This is mostly due in part to the fact that I generally go on genre listening binges. Recently, most of them have wised up and decide to give me gift cards to music stores or something of the like. Unfortunately, these policies didn’t come until after I had received what is perhaps the most insulting musically related gift I ever did see: Lil Rome’s self-titled debut album. I was a little taken aback at this. I mean, it’s no great secret to my family that I like pop music and hip-hop, but this? That’s a little rough even for me. Still, being an open-minded chap, I popped the album into my computer and synced the music to my mp3 player. I pressed play and became instantly aghast at what I heard.

Kids should not rap. It’s just not right. I don’t care if your father is Master P, Romeo. That doesn’t mean that you’re entitled to be a hip-hop superstar. To be quite honest, Romeo should have just focused on acting from the beginning, because his career as a musical artist (I hesitate to use to word “artist") is something of a joke. Romeo is essentially a kid who was brought up around hip-hop royalty, became involved with Universal/Nickelodeon , and just decided that he could rule the world. It’s an annoying trend; young child stars thinking that their acting careers or a pretty face earns them the right to be rock stars. It’s rather unfortunate, since Hilary Duff is a much better actress than she is singer. Sure, she has a decent enough voice, but it’s almost as if she’s mocking the music industry by releasing a greatest hits record two albums into her career.

Oh, and about the great voice thing: Romeo does not have it. His little pipsqueak, prepubescent excuse for a rapping delivery is laughably pathetic. He has no control, no command, and hell: he doesn’t even do half of the singing. That’s right Lil Romeo is an album that actually features more vocal work from guest artists than the person who actually released the disc. The sheer fact of the matter is that Romeo is a joke as an MC. Furthermore, nothing is helped by the absolutely horrid music that Romeo’s Mickey Mouse whisper overlays. Repetitive, boring, and just plain stupid, the samplings and beats on Lil Romeo are of pull-your-hair-out-in-frustration caliber. How anyone could tolerate them is way beyond me.

Romeo’s wordplay also leaves much to be desired. Take “Little Star," the first full track on the album, for example. Here we have Romeo spouting such mastery of assonance and alliteration as:

I'm looking for a girl/Who can stroll me around/Hold me down/Puppy love, girl/How that sound?/You remind me of a wish/First kiss

Perhaps the following lines “My Girlies" will incite the Hispanic population to riot against Romeo:

They call me Romeo, soldier boy/Coma te llamo, ya heard/Throw ‘em up, lets do this/Throw ‘em up, throw ‘em up, throw ‘em up

He “raps" the above lyrics while being flanked by a gaggled of [much older] women going “Ooooohhh Romeo." I would’ve assumed that the only Romeo woman of that age would fall of would be the star-crossed lover of Shakespearian fame.

“Someone’s In Love" does something poetic justice. I’m not sure what that “something" is, but I know it’s nothing that I want to be associated with:

Fun Fun Fun kick the boomstick/Somebody's in love kick the boomstick/Romeo's got a lady his poppa's goin' crazy

I’m sure his poppa’s going crazy, as the lady his son just “got" with is old enough to be his mother.

MC Peepants of Aqua Teen Hunger Force- “…man I don’t advocate that. I rap about life on the street." Now, apply those words to Romeo as he sings this:

Little Soldiers need love/Little kisses and hugs/Come get wit these thugs/I'm tellin' you I'm livin' it up/We can walk through the park, hold hands to it stop

I’m going to stop now, as I hope I’ve made things quite clear to you. The rest of the album is basically just recycled pop hits, including a sample of the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back" (the only decent song on the album, merely because it preys on the Jackson’s legacy). I don’t know. There’s really nothing positive about this album. It’s not so much that Romeo lacks talent (which he does) as the album is just poorly polished. Everything is just messy, jumbled, and plain irritating. Romeo is the greatest example of why child stars shouldn’t be allowed to “conquer" all forms of pop culture, simply because they want to. How this album went gold is beyond the scope of this humble reviewer’s understanding. Romeo, a word of advice: don’t quit your day job as a crappy actor until your voice drops a few octaves, okay?



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user ratings (10)
Chart.
1.4
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


Why is everybody reviewing a bunch of mainstream rap and just going on and on about how bad and dumb it is? Nobody who has reviewed anything in this genre has said anything substantial or anything I couldn't figure out by reading the rapper's name.

NEDM
June 21st 2006



1113 Comments


Master P > Lil Romeo = Gimmick

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


I know it's a terrible album. This review is just a rare glimpse into the obvious.

"Freshly Baked"
June 21st 2006



583 Comments


You diobaliccal bastard Hep Kat, I swear I was just thinking about reviewing an Aaron Carter album (I have never reviewed an album of less than 3 star quality)

Anyhoo, this was a great review. Sorry about you family's lack of CD Buying skill.

Brain Dead
June 21st 2006



1150 Comments


DFelon, what are you talking about? We're saying that mainstream rap albums are bad because they are. A rare glimpse into the obvious? Are reviews supposed to be a "rare" glimpse into the untruthful?

Edit: Why do you review albums that you think are good? I already know they're good, you aren't doing anything but giving me a "rare" glimpse into the obvious. No matter what vendetta you have against Hep Kat or mainstream rap, this review did not deserve to be negged. What were you thinking?This Message Edited On 06.21.06

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


Hep Kat, I assume that if somebody writes a review for this website, they realize they're addressing a demographic that has a less than 1% chance of being part of those 500,000 people who bought the Lil' Romeo album.

Brain Dead, "rare glimpse into the obvious" is an expression. It's not to say that all mainstream rap is bad. It's saying that he's just giving his little "unique" perspective into why this album is bad, that is pretty much the same as everybody else's. He harps on Lil' Romeo for being prepubescent. Ya, I know kiddy rap albums suck. I didn't need a whole review to elucidate that point.This Message Edited On 06.21.06

The Jungler
June 21st 2006



4827 Comments


Good review, Dan. I'm sorta addicted to his old TV show so I'm not gonna go on talking bout how lame he is. This album seems REALLY bad though.

Zesty Mordant
June 21st 2006



1196 Comments


eh, I just think that if you want to write a certain review then go ahead and do it. It may run the risk of being a little self-indulgent, but I generally see it as reviewer first, audience second.


morrissey
Moderator
June 21st 2006



1688 Comments


Especially if that audience includes dfel.

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


Perspectives aren't right man. They're educated or not. Finding the flaws in a Lil' Romeo album is not a tricky task.

NEDM
June 21st 2006



1113 Comments


Dfelon was just saying that a review isn't needed if it's just going to be a huge rant. Kind of like saying "Im going to review the William Hung album and give it a one, YES!"This Message Edited On 06.21.06

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


Especially if that audience includes dfel.


Truf

Zesty Mordant
June 21st 2006



1196 Comments



Perspectives aren't right man. They're educated or not.

well thats kind of black and white don't you think?

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


Dfelon was just saying that a review isn't needed if it's just going to be a huge rant. Kind of like saying "Im going to review the William Hung album and give it a one, YES!"


At least that's not as bad as this: http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/16498/Camron_Purple_HazeThis Message Edited On 06.21.06

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


"well thats kind of black and white don't you think?"

I'm saying that they're not on the right-wrong spectrum but the educated-uneducated one. Whatever. Not an either or but a spectrum.

Zesty Mordant
June 21st 2006



1196 Comments


eh, good enough, I thought you were making a different assumption. I think we've argued this before anyways.This Message Edited On 06.21.06

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


Still, you can't just automatically assume that the album is going to be bad. I wrote the review because I thought it might be moderately entertaining to people, since I've been on a hip-hop reviewing tirade.


I'm not assuming anything. It is bad. My brother made me listen to this crap all the time when we drove.

DFelon204409
Emeritus
June 21st 2006



3995 Comments


Ironically, Hep Kat said he was reviewing it to fill out the hip hop section. Haha

Med57
Moderator
June 21st 2006



1001 Comments


Brain Dead, "rare glimpse into the obvious" is an expression. It's not to say that all mainstream rap is bad. It's saying that he's just giving his little "unique" perspective into why this album is bad, that is pretty much the same as everybody else's. He harps on Lil' Romeo for being prepubescent. Ya, I know kiddy rap albums suck. I didn't need a whole review to elucidate that point.


His perspective on why the album is bad may well be the same as why everyone else thinks this album is bad, but that would only matter if loads of people had reviewed it giving it 1/5. My perspective on why eMotive by A Perfect Circle isn't exactly the most original critical analysis of the album, but that doesn't mean that reviewing it is a bad idea.

I rather enjoyed the review anyway. Never heard of the artist, and I don't particularly care if I hear anything by him, but it was pretty funny.

NEDM
June 21st 2006



1113 Comments


I actually found Lil Romeo's show quite entertaining.

EDIT: I liked your review HepKat. This Message Edited On 06.21.06



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