James Blunt
Back To Bedlam


1.5
very poor

Review

by John weathered old reviewer Hanson STAFF
June 13th, 2006 | 111 replies | 18,570 views


Release Date: 2005 | Tracklist


Reviews oh so rarely get to the point these days, so I'll just sum up my normal two paragraph long intro with one simple statement: James Blunt sucks.

What's wrong with Blunt isn't anything in particular. It's a culmination of horrible facets that, while they may occasionally work for other artists, he deems suitable to flaunt at every single waking moment. The most obvious example of this is his extremely high, annoying voice. The first four times I heard You're Beautiful, I could stand it. Mind you, I didn't like it, but I could stand it and enjoy the music (more on that later). However, as time wore on (AKA I listened to this album once), I already hated its very being. Not the normal 'oh that guy sucks' kind of thing, full on 'Why is this mother #@!$%^ singing!?You see, he has a weird little trick he does with his voice, that I really can't describe, but since I assume everyone has heard Shakira, I can only describe it as an emasculated, more grating, and even more impossibly high.

Of course, some singers overcame bad voices with their penchant for songwriting (Bob Dylan, anyone?). James Blunt completely sidesteps this as well. A mere check of his hit single You're Beautiful will reveal just how awful Blunt be. There is the quintessential Blunt chorus "You’re beautiful. You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's true". Really, is she beautiful James? I'd say this was the worst lyrical moment on the song, but there are quite a few others to draw from. The Jimmy Hendrix tribute So Long Jimmy is silly and completely worthless, as Blunt epically sings such lines as ”Did you lick that line yourself, Or did the voodoo magic help? " Did it, Mr. Blunt? I don't appreciate such thought provoking questions being asked to me when I'm listening to sugar coated faux-alt pop. What I want is stuff like "Look who's alone now, It's not me. It's not me.” and for it not to be ruined by “Those three Wise Men, They've got a semi by the sea.”. Again with the thought provoking questions; Why do they have pickups!?!?!? (oh, for reference, that was the only listenable track on the album, Wisemen).

Well, so James Blunt sucks. I've established that pretty well. But maybe the music as a whole can overcome that, right? There is no reason for Boy George to be anything but an affront to life, but by god if I can ever get Karma Chameleon out of my head for a week after I've heard it. Unfortunately, James Blunt is neither a flaming homosexual nor catchy or moving in any way. The moments that do end up getting stuck in your head, such as the chorus from High ("But now I'm hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh") go from being memorable to anger-inducing within 5 minutes, and you'll punch your best friend more times than you'll actually press play on winamp. There's nothing going on instrumentally that even constitutes real discussion; what they do is so absolutely monotonous and bland that if I heard Daniel Powder or any number of not-worth-the-time artists over it, I would think "Oh, that must be that 'Snow' song.

Back to Bedlam is kind of a neat title. And Wisemen is a decent song (I mean, come on, psuedo-biblical references ftw).

Did you see that? Three paragraphs expounding on why this album stinks, and two whole sentences on what was good. Granted, I didn't go in depth in any way, shape, or form for the good part, but honestly, this album doesn't make me want to. It revels in being stereotypical and cliché, with oh-so-little room for originality outside of the rather trippy cover art. I honestly cannot find an ounce of real talent to even be able to say the standby line in these circumstances, "He has talent and hopefully he'll build on that next album." This album may not have originally made to be a major label tool for selling albums, but honestly, the only people I see enjoying this album are housewives in turbulent marriages and pre-teens who just got broken up with because summer came. If you have a strong tolerance for utter manufactured pop, you may be able to tolerate this album. If you like crap for music, well, this is just for you. What I see her is nothing but artificial balladry with the occasional attempt to be edgy; and by golly, it sure does sell records. But I can't give this above a 1.5 There were three wisemen, you see; and all they tell me " Gotta ask yourself the question: Why are you listening to this album now?"

If You Want Horrible Lyrics: listen to "Goodbye My Lover"

If You Want An Annoying Voice: listen to "You're Beautiful"

If You Want Bland Music: listen to "Cry"

If You Want A Song That Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda Been Pretty Good: listen to "Wisemen"




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Comments:Add a Comment 
Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
June 13th 2006



16081 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Meh. I like my other review better.

ToWhatEnd
June 13th 2006



3172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Well that might be.....but this

Reviews oh so rarely get to the point these days, so Ill just sum up my normal two paragraph long intro with one simple statement: James Blunt sucks.


should rake up plenty of pos votes.This Message Edited On 06.13.06

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
June 13th 2006



16081 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

I bolded it for extra effect.
And go here if you want free rate quotes and stuff for your car insurance.

BludgeonySteve
June 13th 2006



558 Comments


Eep! I've heard the radio songs from this album and I don't really care for them. But aren't you all being a little harsh with the lowest possible vote?

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
June 13th 2006



16081 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Meh, that straight 1 was left over from my previous review. Disregard it, its the second lowest rating possible.

masada
June 13th 2006



2733 Comments


Yeah I know. =(

The Sludge
June 13th 2006



2169 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

Pos'd with the free insurance policy. I got pwnd

Honeymoon_Croon
June 13th 2006



297 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

God, I hate James Blunt. I think we've established that 99.9% of the world who knows anything about music does.
Nice review, btw, pretty much agreed with you, even about "Wisemen"

The Sludge
June 13th 2006



2169 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

But there is that 0.1% that actually purchases his records.
Thus, pop music today still sucks.

stompybeardo
June 13th 2006



746 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

FINALLY a review on james blunt mentions how disrespectful and awful the lyrics to "so long Jimmy" are, thank you!

STLMiguel
June 13th 2006



335 Comments


Yes, he sucks my balls.

TurnTheOtherWay
June 14th 2006



459 Comments


I liked your old review better. But I guess this one wasn't straight-up bashing, so I guess it's more informative.
My friend attempted to make me listen to this yesterday. I'm not quite sure what was worse, this or listening to Hawthorne Heights at my buddy's girlfriend's house. Music sucked yesterday for me.

kno_kontrol
June 14th 2006



448 Comments


yeah, this review was the opposite of the album, essentially

sunshineplaysbass
June 14th 2006



2 Comments


well yeah he has the most annoying, whiney, nasal voice ever

stompybeardo
June 14th 2006



746 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

james blunt implanted a chip in tom cruises ear and the bush administrations ears which repeats this album 24/7

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
June 14th 2006



16081 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Am I the only person on the planet who doesn't think Tom Cruise is insane and just thnks he is a tad bit fanatical?
Oh and thanks for all the faux votes people. I tried to delete all remnants of Blunt from my last.fm but all that stupid maintenance crap isn't letting me

Against Miik!
June 14th 2006



215 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Only listenable songs are Wisemen and Out of my Mind.

And I always thought the line was "those three wise men they got HER STANDING by the sea". not "a semi by the sea". I could be wrong though.

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
June 14th 2006



16081 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

AZlyrics tells me sem by the sea. And honestly, my review falls apart at the seams without that point, so yay for azlyrics I guess?

eadgbe
June 14th 2006



10 Comments


when the three wisemen have semi's by the sea

do you think of them as horny tourists?

The Jungler
June 14th 2006



4827 Comments


You spelled Jimi Hendrix' name wrong. Other than that, good review.

James Blunt sucks.



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