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Review Summary: mistake Forensics teams arrived on location immediately. The place had ostensibly been left untouched since the birth of the morning, so they began to unearth what transpired at the crime scene before it became as such. On the ground lay the mutilated corpse of Mainstream Pop Music, it was cold and lifeless. Witnesses all sold the same narrative - two frat bros, bolting from the scene after comparing the size of their erections like a kind of poster couple for narcissism. By corroborating this intel with the website bio of EDM duo, The Chainsmokers, the culprits were caught.
Taggart, the primary "songwriter" and "vocalist", was the first to crack. The 27-going-on-15 year old explained the pair's modus operandi in a haphazard tone. Through a noxious air of self-satisfaction, he told interrogation officers that they placated Pop Music through repeated use of innocuous, insipid major chord progressions, before seducing the victim with high-profile guest features like Coldplay and Jhene Aiko. "Simple" said he. Pall - the DJ - chimed in: "That meant we could do some real damage". He was, of course, referring to the lyrics - the murder weapon.
Across the 43 agonizing minutes that the crime took place, lacerations most severe were inflicted by lines like "change your mind every night like the seasons" and "she wants to break up every night, then tries to *** me back to life". The officers noted that it probably didn't take long before the victim started bleeding through its ears. Ever the arbiters of superfluous detail, the duo added that they were influenced by other unscrupulous killers like David Guetta and Deadmau5, implying that the crime was not, in fact, just a clumsy and uninspired act. Thereafter, the murderers were stuffed into scratchy jumpsuits and shuffled to their cells, universes away from MIDI keyboards and ***ty VMA performances.
| other reviews of this album |
Tom Read CONTRIBUTOR (2)
Pandora's Musical Box...
2X17 (1.5)
On Memories, The Chainsmokers offer nothing more than a headache you won’t be able to escape once ...
TatremyMusic (2)
The Chainsmokers continue their streak of ripping off their own songs and other points in the music ...
LethalPaintball (1.5)
Uninteresting, unimaginative, and pandering to the radio market. It sure is The Chainsmokers....
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Album Rating: 1.0
this is dumb and melodramatic but it was fun to write. i suspect that's not too dissimilar to the album itself
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Even thought it's really short, it's quite a funny review.
Not too sure about the deadmau5 comparison thought, while I don't like him either, his style is quite different from the Chainkillers. They're into generic and brainless electropop while deadmau5 is into generic progressive house.
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thanks heaps man! and yeah i know sonically there's better comparisons, but a lot of the dumb shit i come up with here is referencing the duo's billboard interview and wikipedia, which states that Deadmau5 is an influence. 
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IMO it's closer (lol) from Calvin Harris than Deadmau5.
| | | Album Rating: 1.0
I don't think i've ever listened to Calvin Harris so I wouldn't know, there's only so much time I can waste hahaha
| | | Album Rating: 2.0
If only that last sentence were true. :[
Pos
| | | Album Rating: 1.5
meh review
And this is nowhere near deadmau5 style, neither calvin harris for that matter
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might i ask why??? also as i said, i was just going off of what they have stated their influences are
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Well it's manufacturated electropop with predictable drops after the chorus; it does not differ from the Calvin Harris formula. Maybe Harris has more "club/EDM festivals" credibility, Idk.
The main difference is that "Drew" is an even worse singer than Harris himself.
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Five negative reviews of this now?
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Feel free to write a positive one to counterbalance Doof ^^
| | | Album Rating: 2.0
"Maybe Harris has more "club/EDM festivals" credibility, Idk."
Lol, I'm gonna say no to that
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are these the guys that did the selfie song
| | | Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off
As I said, I don't really know. Ask Sint, he's the EDM expert. I personally can't stand Calvin Harris either ("Feel So Close" and "Sweet Nothing" are the most tolerable things he done, the rest is utter garbage).
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the lyric video for something just like this is just so creepy
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i really deeply wish I could have written a positive review to counterbalance because I'm a humongous sucker for their singles and think Closer is one of the best songs of 2016 (no joke) but this album is truly trash
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>Closer is one of the best songs of 2016 (no joke)
https://youtu.be/agFMqNB9BYM?t=35s
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copy-pasting my thoughts from a diff website I reviewed it on back when it came out:
You know what? I was fully prepared to waltz on in, snark blasting at full force as is usually the wont of a Chainsmokers review (anyone remember “#Selfie?”), and I imagine many of my colleagues are doing just this. I’ve now listened to this song about twenty-five times over the course of two days, and I’m absolutely fucking hooked. It’s this perfect mix of wanderlust, fear of growing old, having to deal with the awkwardness of a once-soured love brought harshly back in a hotel bar, and a slew of other things that are all hitting me square in the gut at once. I’m 21 as of a few weeks ago, and I’m not sure whether I’m a kid or a grown-up, and I’m struggling with the fact that I’m really not ready to embrace adulthood just yet, and this song for whatever reason just gets me in a way I simply haven’t found anywhere else. The fact that everything’s wrapped up in an utterly sublime composition of snaps, synth syncopation, and that swaggering, succulent vocoder-ish lead just makes everything better. Sure, pop music is mass-marketed to hit millions of people the same way and all that, but when you’re smack in the middle of those millions you realize its power.
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"Closer is one of the best songs of 2016 (no joke)"
Yeah, Closer ruled. Quite a beautiful and subtle piece of music, tbh. And I never thought I'd ever be saying that about a Chainsmokers song
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"beautiful"
"subtle"
I know my english is extremely bad, but I'm seriously questionning the sense of words right now.
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