Review Summary: Remember when you were a kid?? And all music was just fun and you could jump around like nobodies business?
90's kids!! Yeah I'm talking to you!
I honestly don't know what possessed me to write this review, I mean this is my first review and to be honest I don't think anyone will even check it out. But self-consciousness aside lets kick this off.
I want to try and put you back in the mindset of a kid, Whenever you heard a song, no matter how bad or good it was you could shake and move your body, jump around and for the moments of the songs you were in pure bliss. This album was dropped in the year of 1999. The time where everyone was kind of scared of y2k and what the new year was going to bring us.
This is where we meet Danish pop group "Toy-Box". The best way I can describe this band is if...well you know the band "Aqua"?? Well its pretty much if you cloned that band, but was off just by a little bit. To be honest I thought when I heard a song of theirs, I thought it was an "Aqua" song. But then I discovered this band and they struck a nerve so it seems.
I used to jam to a few of their songs when I was but a youngling. I didn't care what they sounded like, the auto-tuned voices. The wacky sounds all together, nothing mattered. I was an ignorant kid and I didn't care about anything unless it sounded good. This is where Toy-Box Fantastic comes into play. Without further stalling, here's the review!
So this is the first album by the band Toy-Box and I must say its all a very weird experience. I just want to it has one of those lame cartoon-esque openings that really has no place on the album other than to eat about 35 seconds of your life and straight up lie to you saying "We present these unforgettable tracks". Although I can appreciate the enthusiasm here, but if good music was just based off that alone the world would be a much different place. I had such decent hopes for this album though, I really truly did. I mean its the first album, a product of its time. I thought we had some decent potential here...but I was just oh so wrong. I used to jam to the track "Best Friend" which in my opinion is the best song on the album. Its fun, catchy, sugary, and just pure dumb fun that I can really get behind. If anything, listen to that song it can bring you back to being in that awkward tween phase. Going off of what the first few tracks gave me, I was thinking to myself.. "Wow, I might have stumbled onto a hidden little nugget of okay music that would have been fun to jam to for kicks". And boy was I wrong. From tracks like "The Sailor Song" which starts the album off well I might add..it seems like we have a pretty good show in store for us. And it continues with other tracks such as "Tarzan & Jane" and "E.T". Its just fun music, with irritatingly catchy beats and quite decent vocals with those beats not quite in your face but making their presence known. These four songs are just so sugary, so upbeat I can practically get a sugar high off of it and I love it.
However, as the album starts off on a good note, it soon comes careening into a brick wall, that of which it never quite recovers from. It carried a fantastic amount of momentum and completely loses it and doesn't even come close to regaining it. That brick wall is the track called "Teddybear" which I will admit I have a soft side for. The fact of the matter is that this is a kids album and I'm twenty-one sitting here reviewing it. This is when I start to question if what I am doing is worth it.
"Teddybear" is such a kiddy love song its about the bare basics of being a kid in love with that "puppy dog" kind of love style feel. I will give it the fact that it has a very innocent atmosphere and I can appreciate that. The further this album progresses the more the songs become forgettable and intolerable. The tracks including "I Believe In You" is just a sterotypical "You can do this!" kind of song, and while that is nice and all to encourage children, its just lame and pathetic. Saying "I believe in you!! I believe in you!" Doesn't really help bring the full message home to these young minds.
At this time I want to take the time to say if you're still reading this, check the track "Best Friend" it gives you a somewhat clear idea of what you're getting into with this band. But all that aside this album contains what seems like out of place love songs that just do not fit at all. It comes right out of nowhere breaking the poppy influence to slow down from its fast paced dance craze. To me, this band is suited better to mind numbing electronic beats with their unique voices. Their songs just sound better to me fast paced, like they are really enjoying themselves and it shows. But the love songs, the music is slowed down and it comes off as forced in a way and just isn't that enjoyable. That and mixed in with the very basic components of love that this band is singing about, it just doesn't do it for me.
From this point out the rest of the memorable songs just fade away, the song "Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo" is laughable and odd. Its weirder than "Super Duper Man" and I cannot stand it. Its pretty much about Superman and how cool he is. But due to copyright laws I am sure, they were afraid to mention his name directly. I also would like to say that the beats are more so electronica, but they aren't bad. The voices also feel like they compliment this style of music and vice versa.
At this point in the review I have realized I neglected to talk about the track "E.T", and its just extremely weird but I like it..
The female singer starts singing in the rhythm of "Yankee Doodle" which completely throws me for a loop and leaves me flabbergasted. Why are they ripping from this old song? And then it hits me... they are trying to do something with music.
I can't expect them to be perfect, but its entertaining and I can appreciate that.
As we move on to the final stretch of the album, its very clear that we are probably not getting anymore fun fast paced songs with the tracks "A Thing Called Love" and Sayonara". The most striking thing about "A Thing Called Love" is that they infuse weird bits of Spanish words, despite them being basic.. just do not mix at all and its annoying.
In the grand scale of their love songs, here is what the are trying to do. Basically saying such memorable lines as "Oh, don't you know about love!? Its like being happy and sad?" and that doesn't tell me anything even on a basic level. It really makes me think what exactly they thought they were doing here. It tells nothing but basic emotions and equating that to love which makes no sense.
Now that we're at the end of the album, we are given the track "Sayonara" which is Japanese for goodbye. I would also like to say that this is a horrible closer, pretty much just saying "Welp we ran out of ideas, until next time kiddies!"
Its insulting in a way to give such a lackluster closer, especially with a slow song like this. It is also at this point in which the love songs all start to blend together and sound alike. The verdict with this album is that I was dumb kid. I didn't have any real concept of music, other than it sounded good. I just wanted a blast from the past and maybe rekindle that with anybody who may have heard their songs. I can honestly say that I am so glad I cultivated a better taste of music, yet this album seriously leaves me longing for those carefree days. Even something this bad still gave me a form of joy back then. But hey I guess that's what growing up is about...right?
Track Recommendations: Best Friend, The Sailor Song, Tarzan & Jane
