Iron Maiden
Virtual XI


1.5
very poor

Review

by DrJohn USER (15 Reviews)
June 24th, 2014 | 72 replies | 1,228 views


Release Date: 1998 | Tracklist

Review Summary: "IT"

1 of 14 thought this review was well written

This is for the fans…not the fan boys
The story I mean not the fiasco.

“IT”


“IT” cannot be held liable to the degree Steve should…yes “IT” is not the main perpetrator here, but “IT” will get his fair share of lines nonetheless, the greater share I prime you.
Primitive is IT’s ability as a vocalist … but it has a slight degree of skill towards …
… Hmmm….hmmm… what’s the word I am looking for? Let’s consider it an ‘X-Factor’ (why that went to down to be at least audible? Another story…for another day).

Accept the analogy of written language -present something printed to someone - a poem perhaps; keeping in mind a poem can be atrocious, bad, average, good, excellent or breath taking, ask him to read it out loud.

There are two main variables affecting the outcome; that can enhance, diminish or just abide by the attributes of the text, plus residual:

I) The author
II) The reciter
III) Residual (this is a pretty effective model; residual pertains to a low 10% in this equation)


III - Residual

Eight year absentee Adrian, is a better songwriter than Janick. Younger absentee Bruce, is a better songwriter than ‘IT’ (that sounded redundant) and “Omega” is a much better, literate song -addressing contiguous subjects- than “When two worlds collide”; if I am correct both Adrian and Bruce where present in “Accident of Birth”?
Back to Virtual XI ; the production is rushed and clustered, guitar work sounds tired, the poem is average (I am being too kind), the artwork as well (average…kindly), and as far as I am concerned, repetition is the mother of all learning, not the mother of one who lacks inspiration regarding "The Angel and the Gambler".

II - The Reciter

We all know “IT” never had range …but that is obvious. There are several intangibles though a vocalist should be judged upon, especially when he’s dealing with written language, after all humankind spent thousands of years embellishing it. Language written or not contains millions of nuances, semantics, ambiguities, assonances and “IT” has no right throwing all these millennia down or up its throat.

Some random guidelines concerning reciters I managed to gather on a site about poetry*.
I will mark a (V) when “IT” delivers during Virtual XI and an (X) when I think it's not, offering some side notes as well.

a) Capture the attention of everyone, including the people in the back row. (V)
However, don’t mistake yelling for good projection. (X) Yelling ingests the whole album experience.

b) Avoid monotone delivery. (V)
However, too much enthusiasm can make your performance seem insincere. (X)
In regard to ‘Como estais amigos’ ; Insincerity isn’t the optimum mean of offering late condolences, on the events that took place at Falklands. After all by the time of this release Argentina was one of the few markets still endorsing you. - Think who will sing it before writing Janick, think before singing IT!

c) Be attentive to the messages, meanings, allusions, irony, tones of voice. (X)
Regarding ‘The Educated Fool; self sarcasm is a smart man’s quality, but this is not the case; maybe because the tune sounds uneducated, or just plainly fool.

d) Be sure you know the meaning of every word and line in your poem. (X) We already discussed this, the only thing I can further add, is that in Virtual XI cognitive potential is questionable to say the least.

e) Occasional (vocal) gestures may be appropriate, but the line between appropriate and overdone is a thin one . When uncertain, leave them out. (X) About ‘Lightning strikes twice’; you can view the following as a side note that pertains to guideline (d) as well:
- IT! Pay attention please … Lightning as the manifestation of friction between clouds produces energy being visible by naked eye, because light travels faster than sound (Einstein pointed out once, that being the reason for some people appearing bright until you hear them speak), hence the thump you hear after witnessing a lightning is called a ‘Thunder’, a loud sonic BOOM if you may. - Lets pretend you want to mimic the latter when barking the word ‘strikes’ during the chorus, shall we?

f) All words pronounced correctly (V kind of), and the volume, rhythm, and intonation greatly enhance the recitation (XXX). Pacing appropriate to the poem.
Hmmm pacing appropriate… gratuitously (V); “The Clansman” is descent with regards to the current guideline.”No we can’t let em take anymore” …ITs accentuation of ’NO’ mimics quite effectively a Scottish rebel residing highlands…that is IF the rebel Scotchman (whom I perfectly respect, the song as well tbh, not perfectly though) was an “IT”, pacing up and down the rocks engulfing north Minch bay, hoping to feast its hunger on the dead rotting carcass of a Halichoerus grypus, circa late 13th century AD.

I - The Author

Dear Sir,

I cannot offer any extenuation over you allowing the above to manifest during the studio process. A guy as focused as you, who managed with virtually no radio air-play or any kind of mass media exposure whatsoever , to communicate your care and passion for Maiden to millions…but lets say that went, and time goes and the recordings were complete…and you listened to the end result…
…allowing Virtual XI to be purchased by die hard fans, who followed Iron Maiden through the years is unacceptable ; you know that the only effective way to restrain die hard Maiden fans off buying something labelled ‘Iron Maiden’, is by “IT” never being released.
Btw – why did you hire IT in the first place?
Can I pardon you? Well…

"BUT there are some things which cannot be excused!"
barks ‘IT’ during a song of a previous effort (why that went down to be at least audible? Another story…for another day), and while I am not fond of being interrupted by ‘IT” barking, I must admit that this vocal gesture was more pertinent to the semantics of the tune.

… in retrospect I firmly believe the diehards pardoned you sir, mainly for being true to your intelligence and accepting Bruce and Adrian back shortly after this fiasco.
After all is said and done, under bad weather, the survival instinct of a focused band captain (who knows how to count loses; this was the lowest selling release by Maiden if I may recall?) indicates:

It is fair to dismiss, a simple two variable model for something more complex yet familiar…even when this means getting back to start all over again, with crew that once abandoned the ship…with band mates that left you…
...with IRON freaking MAIDEN.
Plus Janick . But he is okay...after all, even the most effective models contain residual, and lets be honest... better containing residual than containing “IT”, won’t you agree?


Strictly for non-commercial use, the short story IT is a satirical fictional interpretation, concerning the strange events that took place during the recordings of an album, as an effort to shed some light on the facts rendering it inaudible.
All “ITS” appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental, after all no IT can be real…
…Can it?

*Tips on reciting.Retrieved from poetryoutloud.org



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user ratings (911)
Chart.
2.5
average
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Scott M. Baldwin (3.5)
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Comments:Add a Comment 
BMDrummer
June 24th 2014



4207 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

What is this?

Digging: Svffer - Lies We Live

TalonsOfFire
June 24th 2014



5274 Comments


wtf did I just read

Digging: Opeth - Pale Communion

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Thank you for reading!

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

(BMD)

The short story ‘IT’ is a satirical fictional interpretation, on the strange events that took place during the recordings of an album, as an effort to shed some light on the facts rendering it inaudible.



Mythodea
June 24th 2014



589 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

As for the long story ''IT'', it's an awesome fictional story by Stephen King, on the strange events that took place during the childhood of some people, as an effort to shed some light on the concept of fear.

Digging: Opeth - Pale Communion

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

(Mythodea)

That's quite accurate. I might add that "IT" by Stephen King was also literally "long".

Mythodea
June 24th 2014



589 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

It is a gigantic novel indeed

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

The movie was mediocre though...

Mythodea
June 24th 2014



589 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

It was sufficient...

manosg
June 24th 2014



5720 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Another interesting review, man! The movie was ok. I saw it for the first time as a young lad and was quite impressed. Need to revisit it though unlike this album.

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

LOL 'manosg' (with regard to your needs... the revisit of the album to be exact)

Telemarketer
June 24th 2014



28 Comments


I mean, I've never been much of an Iron Maiden fan, but I don't even understand what you were going for here.

Digging: Blind Guardian - A Night at the Opera

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

(Mythodea)

Let’s just agree that "mediocrity" or/and "sufficiency” are both subjective terms ;)


Mythodea
June 24th 2014



589 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Pennywise was excellent...

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

(Telemarketer)

Fair enough mate, you have to be a Maiden fan, quite Knowledgeable about the bands history, discog. and even discog by former-recurrent members to be exact, in order to understand, and even if you understand were I am going to here, it is not necessary for you to agree...after all this is not a review... (I certainly meant the grade though).


Mythodea
June 24th 2014



589 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I like experimenting with reviews. Yours is truly an innovative one but I believe you could have done it a little better. My opinion though. I liked it anyway.

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Ronald Mcdonald is not though...and that is objective!

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

(Mythodea)

...and thanks!

facupm
June 24th 2014



7109 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0 | Sound Off

neg

Digging: Marillion - Misplaced Childhood

DrJohn
June 24th 2014



172 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

(Facupm)

It's your right to do so.



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