Emmure
Eternal Enemies


2.0
poor

Review

by John Anderton USER (27 Reviews)
April 15th, 2014 | 18 replies


Release Date: 04/15/2014 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Predictably disappointing.

Nearly 6 years ago, I wrote what could generously be referred to as a review of their current release, Felony. I didn’t listen to the record a single time, and I even made up some lyrics that weren't from the album. I suppose you could say it worked for what it was, but in the end, fair is fair, it wasn’t really a review. If we’re being completely honest, it didn’t even have to be Emmure, they were just the easiest targets, as they have a Nickelback-esque magnetism for hatred. I’ve been pretty out of the metalcore game since then, but I've followed it from the sidelines enough to mildly observe its progression. This is where we come full circle back to Emmure - the most progressive thing about Emmure is their steadfast dedication to making absolutely no progress whatsoever.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different outcomes - this is what it is like to listen to Eternal Enemies, their latest release. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to see Emmure progress. Truthfully, the most exhausting thing about the band is the hundreds of recycled comments complaining about how bad the band is. With this in mind, the band does manage to produce a few brief interesting moments, but these are immediately stifled by the oppressive blandness that permeates the entire record. Repeated listens further dilute the record into one long loud mess that completely lacks identity.

Most of Eternal Enemies sounds like someone didn’t have an idea, then wrote a song about the idea they never had. Not in a profound way, not in the way that other genres strive to sound like nothing. When I listen to Eternal Enemies, all I hear is nothing. The sound of several people coming together and thrashing about and nothing happened. Sure, when the play button is hit, sound comes out, but nothing of substance. Every song is a progression of down-tuned 0 or 1 chords, chugged incessantly. The first song is a 90 second breakdown that segues into the beginning of track 2, which starts with... another breakdown. Frankie’s lyrics are at an all-time low – it is astonishing that someone could have such juvenile thoughts at his age. Given time, it is imaginable that he will replace Jonathan Davis in this regard. The drummer does what he can to make the music seem like it has life, but it’s hard to give a corpse life support. The bassist exists in the same capacity that a tree exists in a forest. It’s a loud, vapid vacuum, full of sound and fury, but, well, Shakespeare.
The whole album sounds like the color grey. Completely unassuming, not quite white, not quite black. Poor in the way that unoriginality is poor. I can barely call it bad on its own merits, as it is hard to criticize Emmure without criticizing their musical niche as a whole – and so we come full circle again. Were underachievement an award, I have faith that Emmure would still manage to underachieve enough to not earn it. I am certain that Emmure will carry on, content to make exactly the same blank, pointless nothing for much of their lives. I am at a point in my life where the only thing that makes me feel is sad.



Recent reviews by this author
Brutality Screams of AnguishBrain Drill Quantum Catastrophe
Emmure FelonyParlamentarisk Sodomi Har Du Sagt A Far Du Si Nal
Bleeding Through DeclarationDropdead 2nd LP
user ratings (244)
Chart.
1.7
very poor
other reviews of this album
1 of
  • Jared Floryan (1.5)
    If we're keeping it real, then Frankie and his bros at Emmure must be keeping it fake....

    VaxXi (1)
    Hell exists my friends, and this is what it sounds like...

    Davey Boy STAFF (1.5)
    “Get up” & “bounce”, because “the realest motherf*ckers in the game” are back ...

    Jeremy Wolfers (1.5)
    Sometimes to appreciate the truly good, one has to look to the truly bad to compare it to....

  • Nocturnal (2)
    Diagonal ass niggas and time vampires watch the fuck out....


Comments:Add a Comment 
Essence
April 15th 2014


3595 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

someone previously accused me of being dead. i am sorry to disappoint.

additionally, i apologize that is not in similar nature to my previous review


ASnideReturns
April 15th 2014


5241 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Holy crap.
Welcome back.

ASnideReturns
April 15th 2014


5241 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Also pos'd

VaxXi
April 15th 2014


757 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

My goodness another review.
I can already see this album hit the number one most discussed.

Essence
April 15th 2014


3595 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

which is funny, because there's literally nothing to discuss

silentstar
April 15th 2014


2283 Comments


thought the review was gonna commend them on following the “So, you want to play Metalcore?” Guide

fromtheinside
April 15th 2014


19166 Comments


damn it's been almost six years???

Digging: Techno Animal - The Brotherhood of the Bomb

SitarHero
April 15th 2014


4745 Comments


"Most of Eternal Enemies sounds like someone didn’t have an idea, then wrote a song about the idea they never had."

I lol'd. Pos'd hard.

MisterTornado
Contributing Reviewer
April 15th 2014


4507 Comments


why did this album warrant 5 reviews within the span of 24 hours

MO
April 15th 2014


19078 Comments


whoa writer of the greatest sput review ever returns, what is this i don't even

Slut
April 15th 2014


2679 Comments


Good review pos

Essence
April 15th 2014


3595 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

whoa writer of the greatest sput review ever returns, what is this i don't even
oh you, stop

thanks guys. i dont really have a good idea of what to review next, so im open to ideas

Tunaboy45
April 15th 2014


3180 Comments


Predictably awesome review, pos. Love the Vaas
quote.

Digging: Electric Wizard - Dopethrone

paradox1216
April 15th 2014


521 Comments


Felony was def the greatest Sput review and was directly what inspired me to start writing here (albeit not as creatively unfortunately). Welcome back, and good review, pos

paradox1216
April 15th 2014


521 Comments


"the bassist exists in the same capacity that a tree exists in a forest" omfg

ZippaThaRippa
April 15th 2014


2443 Comments


Predictably disappointing is kind of an oxymoron isn't it?

Essence
April 15th 2014


3595 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

precisely

sharkmsc
May 15th 2014


69 Comments


"I have faith that Emmure would manage to underachieve enough not to earn it" lulz



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