Ranger
Knights of Darkness


4.5
superb

Review

by BigHans USER (108 Reviews)
March 5th, 2014 | 187 replies | 6,023 views


Release Date: 09/06/2013 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Unadulterated speed riffs of face-smashing Goddamn fury

13 of 13 thought this review was well written

I’m not even sure where Ranger is from, probably somewhere near that portal in Scandinavia right next door to the gates of Goddamn Helheim, but I can tell you with more certainty than I’ve had about anything ever that this band speeds f*cking hard. This debut EP has 5 songs of unadulterated speed riffs of face-smashing Goddamn fury that recall the terminal velocity of “Reign In Blood.” I’m not saying these guys are thrash, I honestly don’t know what the hell to call this aside from pure fists of holy-sh*t-Goddamn-SHRED acceleration. The vocalist switches from Tom Araya-esque rapid fire shouting to King Diamond/Rob Halford-like squeals of might while waxing about subject matter like fire, steel, how he rules the night, evil, and exactly how f*cking METAL Ranger are. There has to be at least two guitarists because if one man tried to play these riffs his arms would disintegrate before his brain exploded from a crippling aneurysm from the cascading vortex of unrivaled shreddage. The verse riffs are riffs of hell-lightning coupled with soaring Maiden-esque solos and leads of truth. I didn’t pay much attention to the drumming because it is entirely irrelevant with riffs like these. If you need 23 minutes to get jacked, this will serve two important purposes. The riffs of domination will compel you to fist fight a starving anaconda and simultaneously annihilate your sperm count, leaving you uninhibited to score with reckless abandon, which will absolutely happen because you just bathed yourself in an avalanche of speed metal and any panties within a 10 mile radius will be saturated from the unrelenting masculinity and musk dripping from these inimitable riffs of force.



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user ratings (18)
Chart.
4.2
excellent

Comments:Add a Comment 
BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

This is for Piss.

Stream it hard here:

http://rangerheavymetal.bandcamp.com/

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

No, I am not sober

DominionMM1
March 4th 2014



9701 Comments


don't ever change hans

Digging: Neurosis - Through Silver in Blood

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Couldnt if I tried.

Dude you should jam this. Seriously.

DominionMM1
March 4th 2014



9701 Comments


jamming now. actually saw this at the record store earlier today. caught my attention after viewing the piss list.

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Yeah Piss demanded I jam this like 3 months ago and I always meant to review it because it rules.

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
March 4th 2014



18227 Comments


lol my roommates and i heard this a while ago it was hilariously awesome

Digging: Syndrone - Salmataxia

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

rules so hard

Inveigh
March 4th 2014



24863 Comments


jamming the title track on bandcamp right now, riffs hard m/

classic hans riffview pos

Digging: YOB - Clearing The Path To Ascend

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Goddamn this shreds

Inveigh
March 4th 2014



24863 Comments


yeah this song does kick ass, will definitely cop this

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Its awesome cause its only like 23 minutes to get through it

Inveigh
March 4th 2014



24863 Comments


guitars so hard

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Seriously I cant get over it, the sheer amount of Goddamn shred

dannyboy89
March 4th 2014



11944 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Awesome review Hans, pos'd hard.

KILL and Notrap should dig both the review and the album.

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

yeah they will dig it so will you if you like speed riffs of truth

tempest--
March 4th 2014



13029 Comments


jamming on bandcamp now damn this riffs fucking hard

Digging: Kimbra - The Golden Echo

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

dude I know its thrash unreal speed riffs for days

tempest--
March 4th 2014



13029 Comments


holy shit these vocals this is insane

BigHans
March 4th 2014



26455 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

I know he switches from ripping off Araya to ripping off King/Halford with ease and grace



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