Dead Cow Company
EP


5.0
classic

Review

by Jawaharal USER (33 Reviews)
April 4th, 2006 | 15 replies


Release Date: | Tracklist


Upon hearing this I immediately thought "This is the new Draculacore." Mixing grind, electronica, hip-hop, and spoken word into a behemoth of an album, Dead Cow Company prove that they are the next big thing. But they didn't make it big, sadly because 14 year old boys do not have enough cash to produce enough demo tapes and Eps to become the stars they were destined to be. Many also believe the album was signed by Capitol records but soon dropped because of they controversy on the song Mark, which consisted of only these lyrics. This is for Mark! We Love You. Mark Is Gay x10 Mark is a homo." This EP has attained a legendary status among the hardcore sceners for its uber rarity. The estimated worth of one of the limited 13 copies printed is $34!

But the question is, is this album worth $34? Hell yes. Awesomeness at this level should be priced at $50. Each song is solid and unique and provides a totally mindfuck experience. The album begins with a conversation between two nervous band mates. [i]"We can play in this shit!" "No we can't play in this shit man." "Yeah we can man!"[i] But the conversation is instantly vaporized by the guitar fuzz of Quasimodo Prostitute which is absolutely brutal with pounding double bass drums and screaming vocals. You may notice the horrid quality of the album but remember Dead Cow Company also wanted to win fans of the black metal scene. And they did achieve a massive fan base with kids from every genre of music. Including the electronica/grind masterpiece All my Teachers Are Hermaphrodites which you may recognize from the Volkswagen commercial.

The lyrics are often brutal and hateful towards whoever they want to piss off in that song. Sorry Kids, Emos Dead was written after they were denied a gig at a skate park, so Dead Cow Company lashed out at all the emo kids. They cleverly sampled Napoleon Dynamite's karate man's famous one liner "Bow To Your Sensei." It is obvious that the Dead Cow Company still feel superiority over those whiney bitches that committed mass emocide shortly after rejecting Dead Cow Company. But Dead Cow Company like to puzzle the listener with un-understandable screams and death metal cookie monster growls that leave you begging to know what they were screaming about.

The Dead Cow Company is also incredibly talented at their instruments. Guitarist Cow Killa once said "I take inspiration from The Dillinger Escape Plan for my blazing jazzy riffs, but I ultimately can’t even come close." Upon hearing one song you instantly notice the modesty of these young fellows, because its obvious Cow Killa posses far much more skill than anything Steve Vai played. Vocalist Cow Tippa said when interviewed about EP said "We had to keep everything blazing fast and short because Microsoft sound recorder only has a limit of one minute of recorded sound, but luckily it turned out great." It sure did. Dj shadow, look out because Dead Cow Company sampler and drummer Hooves of Death has the best rhythm ever found in a white person. He creates booty shaking grooves like no other man and literally made a woman pregnant just by beat boxing. He is the man.

But all good things don't last, and Dead Cow Company is living proof of the saying. The angst has never been truer, emo killing has never been gorier, and homosexuality has never been as horny as this orgasmic EP. I beg you to listen to this phenomenal band that shatters the realms of mortal music and godly music, for you will never regret it.



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user ratings (1)
5
classic

Comments:Add a Comment 
south_of_heaven 11
April 4th 2006


5438 Comments


what...the...hell....?

i have honestly never even heard of these guys

this sounds way to f***ed up for my tastes

only 13 copies of this? wowThis Message Edited On 04.04.06

204409
Emeritus
April 4th 2006


3996 Comments


Hahahah. Fat DRACULACORE rip off.

Killtacular
April 4th 2006


1314 Comments


I don't understand.

The Jungler
April 4th 2006


4827 Comments


Where can I hear some of this stuff?

The Dead Cow Company is also incredibly talented at their instruments. Guitarist Cow Killa once said "I take inspiration from The Dillinger Escape Plan for my blazing jazzy riffs

Cow Killa, thats just funny.

Did you mean to give this a 0.5?

Jawaharal
April 4th 2006


1832 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Where can I hear some of this stuff?

I hear the final 13th copy is being sold off on some thrift shops mail order site. Its very cheap, only $2 because they desperately need to get away from it because, being the 13th copy, its nothing but bad luck.

204409
Emeritus
April 4th 2006


3996 Comments


Dude ummm...just post the whole thing on www.hxcmp3.com

pulseczar
April 4th 2006


2385 Comments


This can't be better than Anal Fire Ice Cream, but nice work anyway.

Jawaharal
April 4th 2006


1832 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Its not my band or anything, its acctually a real band's ep I got off soulseek by mistake, but I'll upload anyways.

204409
Emeritus
April 4th 2006


3996 Comments


Oh I assumed it was yours. Especially since that guy who linked it in H/E would appear to be your band mate.

Jawaharal
April 4th 2006


1832 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Especially since that guy who linked it in H/E would appear to be your band mate.

I got a name change dumbazz


204409
Emeritus
April 4th 2006


3996 Comments


Oh lammmeeez. Ya cheeto-t does suck hahaahah.

Neoteric
April 5th 2006


3243 Comments


This review is secks. Great band too, I'm going to see them at the Budakon.

Dancin' Man
April 5th 2006


719 Comments


Yo Cheeto, get on IM and send this to me.

Shikyo
April 7th 2006


71 Comments


Wow. So, I take it this is a joke band somewhat similar to DRACULACORE? Any places where I could get a listen?

and Cheeto, you forget to put the / to end one of your italics tags.

Pinball Map
April 8th 2006


39 Comments


Cheeto, are you ever on Soulseek or are we on different versions?



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