2 of 2 thought this review was well written
Upon hearing this I immediately thought "This is the new
Draculacore." Mixing grind, electronica, hip-hop, and spoken word into a behemoth of an album, Dead Cow Company prove that they are the next big thing. But they didn't make it big, sadly because 14 year old boys do not have enough cash to produce enough demo tapes and Eps to become the stars they were destined to be. Many also believe the album was signed by Capitol records but soon dropped because of they controversy on the song Mark
, which consisted of only these lyrics. This is for Mark! We Love You. Mark Is Gay x10 Mark is a homo."
This EP has attained a legendary status among the hardcore sceners for its uber rarity. The estimated worth of one of the limited 13 copies printed is $34!
But the question is, is this album worth $34? Hell yes. Awesomeness at this level should be priced at $50. Each song is solid and unique and provides a totally mindfuc
k experience. The album begins with a conversation between two nervous band mates. [i]"We can play in this shi
t!" "No we can't play in this shit
man." "Yeah we can man!"[i] But the conversation is instantly vaporized by the guitar fuzz of Quasimodo Prostitute
which is absolutely brutal with pounding double bass drums and screaming vocals. You may notice the horrid quality of the album but remember Dead Cow Company also wanted to win fans of the black metal scene. And they did achieve a massive fan base with kids from every genre of music. Including the electronica/grind masterpiece All my Teachers Are Hermaphrodites
which you may recognize from the Volkswagen commercial.
The lyrics are often brutal and hateful towards whoever they want to piss off in that song. Sorry Kids, Emos Dead
was written after they were denied a gig at a skate park, so Dead Cow Company lashed out at all the emo kids. They cleverly sampled Napoleon Dynamite's karate man's famous one liner "Bow To Your Sensei." It is obvious that the Dead Cow Company still feel superiority over those whiney bitc
hes that committed mass emocide shortly after rejecting Dead Cow Company. But Dead Cow Company like to puzzle the listener with un-understandable screams and death metal cookie monster growls that leave you begging to know what they were screaming about.
The Dead Cow Company is also incredibly talented at their instruments. Guitarist Cow Killa once said "I take inspiration from The Dillinger Escape Plan for my blazing jazzy riffs, but I ultimately can’t even come close." Upon hearing one song you instantly notice the modesty of these young fellows, because its obvious Cow Killa posses far much more skill than anything Steve Vai played. Vocalist Cow Tippa said when interviewed about EP said "We had to keep everything blazing fast and short because Microsoft sound recorder only has a limit of one minute of recorded sound, but luckily it turned out great." It sure did. Dj shadow, look out because Dead Cow Company sampler and drummer Hooves of Death has the best rhythm ever found in a white person. He creates booty shaking grooves like no other man and literally made a woman pregnant just by beat boxing. He is the man.
But all good things don't last, and Dead Cow Company is living proof of the saying. The angst has never been truer, emo killing has never been gorier, and homosexuality has never been as horny as this orgasmic EP. I beg you to listen to this phenomenal band that shatters the realms of mortal music and godly music, for you will never regret it.