Waking the Cadaver
Perverse Recollections of a Necromangler


1.0
awful

Review

by Trajan Paul Murphy USER (18 Reviews)
October 30th, 2013 | 24 replies


Release Date: 2007 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Who the hell signed this band?

There are certain things one would expect when listening to professional musicians. One is that they at least have some grasp of what they are doing. Even the worst albums I have heard up to this point are at least done by people who know something about how music works. Another thing you would expect of a professional band is the ability to keep in sync with each other and sound somewhat focused. However, on Perverse Recollections of a Necromangler, Waking the Cadaver demonstrates neither of these abilities.

At first, it might seem as though they are simply another act hopping on the deathcore bandwagon. However, this band's true downfall is the fact that they sound disjointed and unfocused, and they try way, way too hard to be "brutal." Their sole lyrical topic is over the top, Z-grade horror movie violence, frequently against "bitches" and "whores" as they oh-so-lovingly refer to them. To make it even worse, the lyrics sound as if they were written by a psychotic and perverted serial killer while high on cocaine.

Believe it or not, there is worse to be found. Even the most god-awful lyrics can be somewhat forgiven if they have decent vocal performances to back them up. There are no such performances anywhere to be heard. Their vocalist has an atrocious singing voice, and I use the term "singing" as loosely as possible. What your ears are treated to is what sounds like a pig being slaughtered while screaming in ear-grating grunts that make Suicide Silence's vocals sound like a choir of angels, that sound as if they have been forced out through the nose, ruining any possible chance of getting at the very least a laugh out of the lyrics.

The rest of the band is not any better. The guitarists play generic, chugging riffs without any sort of change. The bassist might as well have not shown up for recording sessions, because there is absolutely not a single bass note to be heard. The drummer cannot keep time, goes off-beat frequently, and fails to keep the band together in a cohesive way. None of the band members demonstrate any variety in their technique. The songs are all written with the same formula, with only minor alterations telling you that the next track has started.

Once you reach the end of the album, you will discover it's sole saving grace. The album is only twenty-six minutes long, and so does not waste an enormous amount of your time. What is perhaps even more surprising than the horrificness of the album itself, is that anyone thought that it would be a good idea to sign this band, that they had any redeeming qualities besides comedy, that they were any better that a garage band made of thirteen-year-olds. Unless you wish to torture your ears, avoid this album like the plague.



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user ratings (440)
Chart.
1.4
very poor
other reviews of this album
1 of
  • Brendan Schroer (0)
    Fuck......

    Starblind (1)
    BRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!...

    Subrick (1)
    The single worst metal album ever released. And I use the words "metal" and "album" as lig...

    vanderb0b (1)
    When it seemed that Waking The Cadaver could only go up, they managed to spectacularly plu...

  • Lambda (1)
    An atrocious metal album. Absolutely terrible, with awful vocals, sloppy drumming, and bor...

    LoveTheEndless (1)
    Waking the Cadaver offers an album to the simpletons in love with all things "brutal."...


Comments:Add a Comment 
TPM731
October 30th 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

I know this doesn't need another review, but I just had to get this off my chest. Besides, building up a decent review catalog can't hurt. Comments and feedback would be much appreciated.

wacknizzle
October 30th 2013


13613 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Band rocks the DER DER GEEER GEER BEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Digging: Redwood Hill - Collider

Nocturnal
October 30th 2013


1329 Comments


What does getting signed have to do with anything?

TPM731
October 30th 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

You would expect that the people at record companies would know something about good music. I fail to see how anyone felt that this band was worth signing.

Lelle
October 30th 2013


2156 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

The band has fans = people who will buy their records = label will make money = worth signing. They don't care about the quality of the music. I mean Brokencyde are signed to a label for christ's sake

Nocturnal
October 30th 2013


1329 Comments


Still more BR00TAL then none so vile.

TPM731
October 30th 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

Well, at least I can understand why someone would want to listen to Brokencyde. But I can't think of any reason why anyone would voluntarily listen to this besides for comedic purposes.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm surprised that this doesn't have a "5" review yet.

Nocturnal
October 30th 2013


1329 Comments


Read the review for their Beyond Cops, Beyond God album. Its fucking hilarious.

TPM731
October 30th 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

Yeah, the "4.5" review for that album is pretty funny.

AtomicShane
October 30th 2013


1925 Comments


props to you for actually listening to this

Digging: Trophy Eyes - Mend, Move On

SnailTRAIL
October 30th 2013


910 Comments


fkn brutal

Lelle
October 30th 2013


2156 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

somebody going GLOROGLGLHORLHORGLORHLROGLRH to generic riffs with bad production is not brutal. it is shit

Nocturnal
October 30th 2013


1329 Comments


Tonight this cunt will pay.
My dick will beat her face.
Her life and her cunt are mine.
This slut shall now see.

All night on this bitch I release my piece.
Yes. Yes. I am the man.
And I will kill when I can.
You can try to run.
But your done.
Run.
Gun to your head.
One more sound and your dead.
Kick in your teeth.
With my cock piece.

Sweet labial meat.
Her inside out twat.
Tastes great to eat.
Dripping and slipping and oozing and flowing with spit.
This vile slit.
Will ghost ride my prick.

Blood pours from her tender throat.
I left her bound to a tree.
Nude. Mangled. Butchered and Blasted.
Now these skanks know not to fuck with me

This song is about all your moms

Necrotica
October 30th 2013


10062 Comments

Album Rating: 0.5 | Sound Off

I like how the mods let me keep my 0.5 for this

TPM731
October 30th 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

Great. You just had to post the lyrics. There is a reason I decided to omit them from my review: to allow readers to keep their sanity intact. These god-awful lyrics do not deserve to exist in any way, shape, or form.

TPM731
October 30th 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

It actually wouldn't surprise me if I heard that they wrote the lyrics after the grunts have been recorded, just for the sake of having lyrics. I cannot understand a single word that their singer utters from his tortured throat.

AtomicShane
October 30th 2013


1925 Comments


the lyrics are probably the only good thing about this. "ghost ride my prick" is funny shit

TPM731
October 30th 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

If you bother to actually read them, that is.

Insurrection
Contributing Reviewer
October 31st 2013


21632 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

legit worst band ever

Digging: Soen - Tellurian

TPM731
October 31st 2013


238 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

At least the worst SIGNED band ever. There are probably some garage bands out there that are worse. Might have to look around for a little while though.



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