Review Summary: LOVE ME AND I WILL LOVE YOU
Madonna's third album True Blue is my favorite Madonna album of all time and I will tell you why. Featuring 4 of Madonna's most legendary cuts in addition to 8 other high quality tracks that touch upon a wide variety of lyrical topics and instrumentation, True Blue is a consistently entertaining album from start to finish. Chock full of catchy hooks, twerk worthy choruses and upbeat, inspired songwriting you probably didn't even know that this album was dedicated to the man who beat Madonna's face in with a baseball bat.
Madonna goes hard right outta the gate with the classic karaoke staple 'Papa Don't Preach". Detailing the chronicles of a pregnant teenager, Madonna perfectly unites the vibrant story with strong instrumentation and big sexy vocal hooks. Strong verses evolve into even stronger choruses and then BOOM! A Spanish guitar comes outta nowhere to sweep you off your feet. I'm not lying when I say that I've air guitared that part over 300 times in my life. The synth and lyrics play a tremendous role in shaping up this song but have no fear since both aspects carry on to the rest of the album as well. Next up you are introduced to the airy "Open Your Heart". A lighter and bouncier number than it's predecessor, "Open Your Heart" retains the same sense of exuberance and polish. First time I heard "White Heat" I was pretty shocked because James Cagney is my nigga and "White Heat" the movie is one of my favorite movies of all time. Featuring a brief soundbite of the film, it soon delves into a archetypical 80's number complete with doubletracked vocals and a throbbing bass line. Not quite as exceptional as the rest but still pretty sexy.
After "White Heat" you are then introduced to the first ballad of the album "Live To Tell". If there was ever a song designed specifically for the purpose of hot yet sensual, torrid but emotional, 50 Shades of Grey bondage dick in vagina ***ing then this is it. Slowing the pace a bit with the assistance of piano and synth, Madonna sexifies the atmosphere with a jam that instantly conjures the legendary cinematic coupling of Top Gun's Maverick and Charlie. Madonna takes your breath away before the pace is brought back up with "Where's The Party". This song makes me think of that fat, happy black guy in the back of the kitchen who is simultaneously grooving out to his soul music on blast while making a delicious vat of fried chicken. Track six which also happens to be the title track of the record brings a pretty unique 50's influence to the table. Now, I've never ***ed any dudes, at least not yet, but I find myself jubilantly singing along to this tune every time I hear it. It's about finding true love in a vast sea of penises, vaginas and dicks. The next track is said to be a tribute to the late, great James Dean (RIP! I MISS YOU BRO) and can be found playing at every single Spanish restaurant in a 70 mile radius from your home. LO SIENTOOOOOO!!!! Featuring some vivid Spanish instrumentation including GASP! the Spanish guitar again- Madonna induces hip shaking grooves with the most whimsical of movements, both physically and verbally. Now I could use a bowl of fried rice and some pork. Pass me the media noche Juan, a nigga's gotta eat.
The album closes out with "Jimmy Jimmy" and "Love That Makes The World Go Around". Two 80's synth dominated numbers that will inspire you to put on a dress and makeup. Lacking the true emotional depth of the previous seven, they nonetheless follow the path of consistency laid out by "Papa Don't Preach. Diverse instrumentation, simple dancy landscapes and Madonna's sexually charged charisma bring this album to new heights every time I hear it. It's like oh my god, they don't make pop like this anymore. I want to kiss you right now denizens of sputnik, you're all so beautiful.
True Blue is an incredible collection of songs that take you from the shoelaces of a fatty teenage McHump to the depths of a incredibly sexy island to finding the love of your life after ***ing dozens of chumps. This is an inspirational tale of pop music released in a year (1986) that most people (LOL!) like to think belongs to metal. While those losers are listening to that garbage that is called Slayer i'm here getting naked with inanimate objects singing into my fist as it is my metaphorical microphone. Oh you silly metal basement dwelling plebs.