Review Summary: God is dead and so are you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how manly do you think you are? 7 you say? Well, I'll give you a negative three based solely on the fact that you've never jammed Bone Saw. Go ahead and curl those 5 pound dumbells till you grow some hair on your balls. Who is Bone Saw you ask? Alright, go ahead and drink a 6 pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade you ***ing sissy ladyboy. They are the true sons of death, the blood brothers of eternal darkness, the first cousins of decomposition, and the perverse uncles of depravity not to mention they are the fathers of mercilessness. They are the ignoble kings of the macabre, the disillusioned knights of bat*** brutality, the princes of unmitigated devastation, the jesters of unparalleled savagery, the serfs of unquenchable sadism. In human form they are known as Bone Saw.....a grim death metal outfit hailing from Florida's darkened depths. An outfit who emerged from their wretched, decomposing tomb once (thus far) to deliver their impassioned message of hatred and death to the pathetic soggy, squishy beings that populate the god forsaken planet known as earth......
The message of Bone Saw is titled "Til Death Do We Part", a message that can only be comprehended by those superior intellectual and physical beings who are grim enough on inside and muscular enough on the outside to be able to withstand it's desecrating onslaught of all that is death. Those who are not intellectually and physical compatible with "Til Death Do We Part" will die effective immediately in the most brutal of fashions. Blood, gore, organs and splintered bones on the walls, on the floors, hanging from the chandeliers, literally everywhere. For ten minutes your inner and outer self is bombarded with unspeakable violence. Your body is pulverized into mulch to feed this all consuming planet run by lizard people. Your soul is desecrated by the fumes of madness and begins to decay along with your sanity.
Bone Saw's crushing guitar tone sets the tone for this EP. Grimy riffage is abound, providing the rotten earthen landscape with even more grime, death and hatred. The guitar tone is heavier than the impact of two megalodons belly flopping Max Bemis and Sherri DuPree on top of the Meidum pyramid. It has been scientifically proven that Bone Saw's guitar tone has the ability to increase body mass and improve muscle composition. So, for all you hardgainers out there who aren't killed brutally within the first second of this EP you're in luck. A prominent drum approach is displayed on this fierce recording. A drum approach, that, is known to have internally ruptured roughly about 10,000,000 puny mortals organs. Similar to leaving a bag of popcorn in the microwave too long. Bone Saw are so grim and forceful that they bust out the piano in the second track "Eternal Beliefs". Bone Saw's piano playing has been known to turn a average, puny human's skeleton against them. The entranced skeletons explode out of their unworthy, squishy bodies and seize control of the domain that they seek. The only reason why the skeleton army has yet to rule is because they have been set in a deep trance for hundreds of thousands of years, akin to Cthulhu, just waiting to be awoken. Tough *** for you guys, I've already went to my altar and prayed to Skeletor. The army is rising as I post. The secretive bass tone of this recording operates on a frequency so slow that it makes people explode like grapes.
If you are an intellectually elite physical man beast with multiple 24 inch dicks and vaginas then I recommend this album to you. For all you weak, pathetic bumbling clowns who cannot comprehend the mystical depths of this recording than all I can say to you is this.......NICER DICER.....
