Millionaires
Tonight


1.5
very poor

Review

by Sam Kerner USER (5 Reviews)
August 31st, 2013 | 14 replies | 1,629 views


Release Date: 03/13/2013 | Tracklist

Review Summary: “This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt.” Job 38:11

11 of 11 thought this review was well written

The term “shovelware” is a computer term used to describe software that is more notable for quantity than quality, which is a sugarcoated way of saying that it really sucks. It is featured extensively in videogame manufacturing, denoting a game that is so maddeningly horrible, one cannot fathom why it was even created to begin with. But why stop at videogames, when artists like the Millionaires are practically begging for the label to be stuck like a sticker next to the Parental Advisory Warning? They have, after all, been around for several years, and a peek through the song titles of their past EPs shows that their musical progression is basically zero. Perfect, one may think. Here is the ideal example of the muck that modern music has become.

But is that too easy? Tear this album apart, and you will certainly draw blood (the alcoholic concentration of which is not to be underestimated). Yet the Millionaires seem to have crafted Tonight, their debut album, with just enough irony to make one hesitate to write it off as “shovelware” and call it a day. Lyrics like “I'm kinda sweet, and fake like Splenda” would suggest that they’re in on the joke, and I cannot see someone rationally cobbling together an album like this without a single hint of tongue-in-cheek. Ke$ha, of course, has made a living out of this stuff, and the Millionaires seem to be on a similar track.

Irony, however, does not make an album bearable. Tonight takes a dive into the waters of fraternity-style debauchery and not once does it come up for air. One liners may hold your attention for brief seconds, and Hot Topic-style song titles like “Dat Boi” and “K Thx Bye” may prompt a raised eyebrow. Other than that, this is a sordid experience that demands your attention only because it is so incompetent in every way. All this could have been fixed up, at least a little, with snappy production, yet the Millionaires’ GarageBand leanings are evident from the opening track. This is the dark side of Top 40, where synths and drum builds and autotune bombard and repel at every turn.

Of course, I’m not sure what I was expecting. The Millionaires have been releasing music since 2007, and not one song has deviated from their motifs of partying, sex, drinking, and getting high. Perhaps I was hoping that the beats on Tonight would at least be polished enough to be enjoyable, or at the very least, memorable. Shame on me. This is an album to be endured once and only once. No amount of irony can fix that.


user ratings (23)
Chart.
1.4
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
Frippertronics
August 30th 2013



4382 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Pretty good review. The only thing worth rating this for is just for objectivity.

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pizzamachine
August 30th 2013



12568 Comments


Review is well written! Horrible album.

Crawl
August 31st 2013



1388 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

you sure you're not overrating this?

Digging: The Menzingers - Rented World

Rawben
August 31st 2013



166 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I'm actually in a bad mood now after listening to this alleged 'album'.

Millstone
September 1st 2013



367 Comments


would still bang

fish.
Contributing Reviewer
September 1st 2013



20204 Comments


I'm actually in a bad mood now after listening to this alleged 'album'

lol

Digging: YG - My Krazy Life

Decayingmajesty
September 1st 2013



5394 Comments


Wtf is this

Rawben
September 1st 2013



166 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Millstone- Yea, but lack of talent is such a turn off.

CrankSinatra
September 20th 2013



11 Comments


still better than kesha. lol.

demigod!
September 20th 2013



40970 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

ill just go ahead and 1 this

ASnideReturns
April 1st 2014



2477 Comments


These chicks live like four blocks down from my house.

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someguest
April 1st 2014



18878 Comments


you should really stop letting those around you influence you so much

Digging: BABYMETAL - Babymetal

ASnideReturns
April 1st 2014



2477 Comments


I don't even like their music someguest lmao.

VermTheImpaler
April 1st 2014



1360 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Snide, i want to fuck really slutty and lovely scene whores. You should present me those bitches, I will give you a ps4 fella and 1000 dollars.



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