14 of 14 thought this review was well written
Everyone who isn't stupid as hell knows Finnish death metal is the best death metal. Depravity are cream of the crop; the band members literally rose up from like a misty ice cold lake at midnight probably when the moon was full or whatever to demonstrate the most evil riffs and insidious leads and gruesome vocals of all time. When the first song starts playing and the lone guitar is just playing out that riff that cuts bone like butter and then the drums do the little bass drum fill thing and the riff plays just one more time and then it all comes together and it just gets bigger and more evil and suddenly its as cold as hell you will come to a staggering nihilistic realization and you will go into the woods and become feral and subsist off of animal bones for the rest of your life.
But you didn't even hear the vocals yet so when you're done doing all that nonsense you will come back and hear the vocals and they are so grim and legitimately fu
cking depraved and you will howl at the uncaring sky and your dad will tell you to keep it down in there because he is trying to watch the game and you will be overcome with a horrific primal urge to eat raw flesh and you will stab him in the temple with a screwdriver and then cut up his body in the bathtub and eat him and just get messy as hell and then the solo will come in and it will be surprisingly melodic and introspective and the whole scene will be like some kind of insanely brutally radically sweet work of art.
Take a long hard considerate look at those blue dudes on the album cover, that is what happens to you when you hear this album. These riffs will freeze your blood, your veins and arteries will look like deranged popsicles, just totally poking and snapping out of your nasty dead skin at oblique angles. The morbidly graceful solos will make your eyeballs just turn to ice and huge tundra dwelling birds will come and peck them into nothingness, and your hair follicles will freeze and snap off and blow away in the unending wind. The drum fills will break your bones even though they are useless now anyway and your fingers and toes will contort and wither away and a thick mist will just rise up out of nowhere to surround you like some kind of mockery of a grave.
Depravity are so evil that they made up words to be their song names. In what circumstances would you see a Remasquerade? Where the heck is Phantasmagoria? If you ever even found out your eyes would roll back in your skull and all of your skin would peel off and you would just start eating it and clawing pathetically at your raw exposed flesh screaming "I have found the answers I have should never have seeked! Kill me! Kill me! Kill me!!!" repeatedly until someone sees you and is so repulsed and horrified that they just stomp on your fu
cking head repeatedly, not caring that all thats left is stinking pulpy mush they will just keep stomping and stomping and stomping and