Darkosis
Darkosis


5.0
classic

Review

by ThyCrossAwaits USER (46 Reviews)
March 13th, 2013 | 7 replies


Release Date: 2011 | Tracklist

Review Summary: tr00 kvlt semen-ripping Satan-nuts

Darkosis is the best raw post-dada black metal band to ever be spawned within the confines of the frosty hell-anus that is Oregon, USA.

Darkosis' self-titled 2011 demo begins with soft acoustic guitars that immediately lull the soul with all the chilly kvlt-ness of old school Nickelback. But the calm only lasts the 46 seconds of "Dunkel" until "Mørk" begins with a WHOOP WHOOP and proceeds to pummel you like a thousand angry Native Americans in a thousand ***ty Chevy '76s.

"Tmav‡" is the demo's most danceable track, with its hopping club drum beats and echo-y barf vocals. It's also the longest track because of the sweet twinkly melody that enters about halfway through.

The second half of the demo is really experimental for Darkosis. "Dlam" shows a hint of old radio music at the beginning, but it's really a culmination of all the band members simultaneously slapping their ballsacs against their instruments after inviting a wild boar into the studio to do guest vocals. "Oscuro" samples both a baby ***ting a toy forklift and the original Castlevania theme, and features a remix one of the angry Natives from "Mørk"'s Chevy stalling. As for the final song, "Schwarz," it is a Bob Dylan cover.

tr00 kvlt semen-ripping Satan-nuts



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Comments:Add a Comment 
Necrotica
March 13th 2013


10137 Comments


Fuck this shit, I'm out

ThyCrossAwaits
March 13th 2013


3065 Comments


joke reviews aren't funny when I do them

mods kill this

Digging: Old Man Gloom - The Ape of God I

ILikeMoosicBetrThanU
March 13th 2013


9 Comments


It's not as good as the music I like.



Necrotica
March 13th 2013


10137 Comments


Yeah, unfortunately, this sorta sounds like a KILL/sonic ripoff

YankeeDudel
March 13th 2013


9313 Comments


this is fuckin awful

but so incredibly trve

Digging: Land Of Kush - Against The Day

Mike08
March 13th 2013


609 Comments


If your going to write humorous reviews, insert wit. This review sucks.

ThyCrossAwaits
March 13th 2013


3065 Comments


I'd say "you're" but yeah



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