Review Summary: Journey into the mind of degenerate youth.2 of 2 thought this review was well written
If the hockey inspired name doesn’t instantly clue you in about the awesomeness you’re about to experience with Vancouver natives The Hextalls then never fear. After a few minutes it’s a piece of cake to see why their outlandish brand of comedy inspired pop-punk tales will have you in stitches as the tracks activate your sweet tooth. Imagine the crew in The Lonely Island got together to form a band of this styling and along for the ride was a super nerdy chick with the same appeal of SNL alumni Tina Fey behind the kit. It’s a trouble maker free for all from a bunch of average joe’s having such a riot of a time you’ll monkey see, monkey do no matter where your silly ass wants to Get Smashed
out on the town.
The goofball chronicles cover a plethora of double take scenarios like the dire lesson about what to do if you catch your dad wanking it to Shania Twain on CMT. I mean it’s his right to sit on the couch and relieve himself after coming home late from a hard days work but how exactly would mom feel about it? Oh by the way, the correct answer if your family tries to make you go to church on Sunday when you’re having a weekend Pacman binge is by screaming “*** YOU!” For all you Blink-182 fans who thought the “The Rock Show” was unrealistically sissy portrayal of hookups then a good old Canadian version at a ski slope wooing gone bad should do the trick.
I’m counting on the fact we’re a fun loving group of beer drinking sports nuts here so I shouldn’t have to convey the significant dangers of one to many at an event. In case you’re unfamiliar with being a real man “I Don’t Wanna Be A New York Ranger” will make you feel as adequate as Chuck Norris’s blood splattered fists of fury. I’m not sure what more you could ask for in a record of this magnitude where the jams never stray from getting to the point for the ADHD generation with scoundrel intentions. I forgot to mention that the two vocalists pretty much wipe the floor with the competition and all four members together might as well start their own league.
Now if you’re wondering if The Hextalls keel over into the same pitfalls as other pop-punk groups people claim are all the same then you’re not paying attention. Hell, the only way they can be generic is by purposely mocking others who include the dreaded ballad and even that hits harder than Chavs breaking kneecaps up. Speaking of those blokes, with lyrics about punching your baby in the face if they come out looking like Tina Turner I can’t see why anyone of them could hate on this genre. Oh darn, I suppose it wouldn’t totally settle right because of the pro-man crush and possible anal sex episode encased in the previous tune arriving on the dime.
Well, I’m off to indulge in the finer things in life this adventure promotes with a spunky attitude of no regard for the social norms of society. You’re more than welcome to join me once you get acquainted with this handy instruction guide that'll bring out some liberation.