Review Summary: YOU FILTHY FUCKING CUNT JUNZNJUZNJUNZA33 of 38 thought this review was well written
Capture. The. Crown
With only three songs and a sick cover, these aussie thrashers are getting noticed everywhere for their mad skillz. Some, however, have criticised them for not being original and using the same experimental methods that bands like Asking Alexandria have pioneered. To those idiots I say *** you cause CtC are repping the cheerios like you don’t even know.
The ear sex starts off with “You call that a knife?, this is a knife”. Determined not to be another generic band, CtC opted for a synthy intro breakdown that makes you think “*** are these guys the next cynic or what?????” Followed by possibly the best opening line ever : “Welcome to sin city bitchezzzzz!!11!!” Boom. Watcha gonna do? You can tell these guys are really tough with the ripped skinny jeans binary junz and clean chorus under like a broken water pipe or something but it looks mad emotional and ***. The song continues to make the bros fight invisible ninjas in teh pitzz until just when you thought swearing before breakdowns wasn’t enough of a musical breakthrough, they are able to make a coolly calculated transition into some chronic trip hop dub in the same vein as massive attack like *** its just really good k
They show their originality and eagerness to progress beyond the realms of ***cunts like opeth and cover Jason deruloooooooo. Its insane that an experimental hardcore thrash/djent band like ctc is going to cover hip hop. So yeh right from the get go the axe wielders show talent like holy *** if you wanted tremolos or sweeps thats for ***n pussies man try strumming the the E string like four times in a row i bet this cover took ages to make. And man the vocalist is really hot and the lyrics speak to me cause i had this ex girlfriend and we were in mad love and gonna get married but on our 1 week anniversary she cheated on me and i was like ***n angry i wanted to watch her suck his dick.
So then i found ctc and my life turned around and i stopped being *** and i started getting hot chicks with like snake bites and medusa piercings and i started being real attractive cause apart from being such a forward thinking band, ctc made me truly appreciate v-necks.
All in all, ctc and their vocalist Jeffrey welfare are ***ing *** up. Welfare may end up being remembered as the father of prog djent thrashcore just like that guy who everyone knows was the father of death metal, but hopefully he doesn’t die like him (RIP Mitch Lucker <3)