Review Summary: Strike two
Despite the odds, Green Day managed to defy expectations with September’s ¡Uno!
. Indeed, as a consequence, they were lowered so far that even Billie Joe Armstrong was head height to them. With its terrible lyrics, uninspired and generic music and general sense of boredom, the only positive to glean from the wreckage was at least it couldn’t get worse. Or could it? Well, not exactly, but then again, this isn’t the sort of improvement you could hang your hat on. The problems that eviscerated their last release stalk ¡Dos!
like the Ghosts Of Sh*t Ideas that Dickens left out of his final edit.
Armstrong’s lyrics are the biggest hindrance once more. Mid-paced snoozer “Wild One” is home to the lines “she gave up on Jesus for living on Venus” and “I’m drinking the Kool-Aid, I jumped on the grenade.” Has Armstrong just totally given up or is he trying to be deep? Neither would suit him. Elsewhere he appears to take on the role of some sort of sex pest, declaring that he wants to “choke you until you’re blue in the face” on the unfortunately titled “F*ck Time.” On “Makeout Party”, Green Day (combined age: 119) ask whether or not you want to play “spin-the-bottle” with them.
Musically, the majority of the songs on ¡Dos!
sound like rehearsal room outtakes, songs so limp they couldn’t even be bothered to release them as the Foxboro Hot Tubs. “Stray Heart” is the sonic equivalent of wet lettuce, the usual three-chord jumble that starts and ends with little to no fanfare. It is one of many that follow such a tried-and-tested formula. The only real concerted effort to mix things up comes late on with “Nightlife”, but the female-led rap verses (yep) are incredibly lightweight, while Armstrong’s off-key drawl throughout the chorus is irritating. “Lady Cobra” is the best of a bad bunch; the powerful, bouncing rhythm and energy are very welcome, but it’s a song Green Day can do in their sleep.
It’s still not clear what Green Day hoped to achieve with all this crap. It won’t have been big sales and even as a product to promote the tour it’s useless. The biggest question remains: Green Day haven’t bothered. So why should we?