ZAPPIEN
ZAPPIEN


1.5
very poor

Review

by Alex Beebe USER (126 Reviews)
October 26th, 2012 | 50 replies


Release Date: 2012 | Tracklist

Review Summary: The musical pursuits found here have much promise, but are completely and utterly maimed by Carlos Zappien’s wretched and unintentionally hilarious (possibly intentionally) vocal performance.

The vocals on an album managing to completely sink the entire record as a whole is no small feat, but Canadian “rock” band Zappien seems to have accomplished this with finesse. Every song on the Montreal rockers self-titled debut album begins promisingly enough with guitar work paired with an atmosphere that brings post punk revivalists such as Franz Ferdinand and Interpol to mind, but then as the intros end and the singing kicks in, everything falls into disarray.

Frontman Carlos Zappien’s vocal performance is horrid to a laughable extent. He sputters on throughout songs in a monotone pitch and occasionally lets out ear-wrenching wails clustered together. It’s seriously questionable whether or not the man is tone deaf, as every single line he delivers is off-key, and met with painfully obvious strain; he can’t hold a note for more than 2 seconds to save his life. His singing pattern is erratically nonsensical and disjointed beyond belief, with garbled words of longing and lost love awkwardly jumbled together between whining wails bereft of melodies and hooks.

It would be bad enough if it was just these vocals that was Zappien’s one overwhelming flaw, but for whatever reason, the music that backs Carlos Zappien’s barely tolerable performance decides to take after his example and just completely fall apart on every track as soon as he opens his mouth. To reiterate, the songs begin with great potential, with sounds reminiscent of a variety of influences, notably the track “Lemon Drop” which has some horns here and there. But as soon as the vocals come into play, the music falls into a random and incoherent mess of noise that is quite similar to the album’s vocals, disjointed and awkwardly arranged to a point far beyond irritating, as if the group just forgot how to play their instruments.

Zappien actually only has two official members, Carlos Zappien himself, and drummer Sevy Plant, with a group of guest musicians covering all other musical areas. It’s a shame that Zappien’s musical style doesn’t vary enough for these guest musician’s contributions to be recognized without researching the band, because the idea of guest musicians covering most of an album’s essentials has a lot of potential if the idea is fully realized, but unfortunately any of this potential would be squandered by Carlos’s unbearable vocals anyway.

Due to all this, it’s debatable on whether or not Zappien is a joke band. It’s difficult to get over the vocals, but if listeners can somehow manage to look past that aspect of the album, there’s really nothing to be found anyway. What it all comes down to is that whether or not you’re laughing or cringing at this album, it’s thoroughly unpleasant either way.



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Comments:Add a Comment 
breakingthefragile
October 26th 2012


2956 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

My god this album is BAD. Possibly the worst album I've heard all year.

Check out their lead single "If You Can Find Me" if you dare.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LmShliHENOY

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SiliconFields
October 26th 2012


201 Comments


2nd paragraph: "tone dear" . . think you meant tone deaf

breakingthefragile
October 26th 2012


2956 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I did, thank you for the correction dude.

XingKing
October 26th 2012


10596 Comments


What the hell did I just listen to? The vocalist can't be serious.

breakingthefragile
October 26th 2012


2956 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Believe it or not dude, I actually think he's serious lmfao.

XingKing
October 26th 2012


10596 Comments


Why would anyone willingly contribute to this? Those horns at the end are so misplaced and out of key. I CAN'T TAKE IT! Is that girl a porn star in the video? She looks like one.

menawati
Contributing Reviewer
October 26th 2012


16023 Comments


thats terrible, really terrible

Digging: iamthemorning - Belighted

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
October 26th 2012


50380 Comments


Not as bad as Tony Danza

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breakingthefragile
October 26th 2012


2956 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Sonic, you gotta hear this man. It's unbelievable.

YoYoMancuso
October 26th 2012


11081 Comments


great review, sounds horrific

Cygnatti
October 26th 2012


21352 Comments


worse than under the mistletoe!? wow

Digging: Jon Hopkins - Immunity

Ire
October 26th 2012


41780 Comments


lol

Cygnatti
October 26th 2012


21352 Comments


yay so bad

but not believe bad amirite?

breakingthefragile
October 26th 2012


2956 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Never gonna let my live that one down are ya? lol.

KerfuffleinaHussle
October 26th 2012


764 Comments


Just listened to "Hold Me Closer," they sound like a really bad middle school band but even lamer
because they're all grown adults so it sucks even worse

mindleviticus
October 26th 2012


8231 Comments


lol this is awful

Digging: Cultes Des Ghoules - Henbane

breakingthefragile
October 26th 2012


2956 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Making the band page and album page for these guys needed to be done, I just had to spread this around lol.

Brostep
Staff Reviewer
October 26th 2012


3450 Comments


this sounds incredible

breakingthefragile
October 26th 2012


2956 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

It is man. Not in a good way though.

SowingSeason
Staff Reviewer
October 26th 2012


16016 Comments


This sounds like me singing

Maybe even worse

Digging: Yellowcard - Lift a Sail



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