Mayhem
De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas


2.0
poor

Review

by YoWassupBros USER (5 Reviews)
August 10th, 2012 | 154 replies


Release Date: 1994 | Tracklist

Review Summary: The mysteries of why anyone listens to this stuff.

Mayhem, the forefathers of Black Metal. What is Black Metal you ask? Well, it's basically an unholy mishmash of thrash, death metal, awful production and bad make-up. Like any other metal genre, it isn't very good. But Black Metal takes it a step further. You think regular metal is based on fashion, dumb lyrics and image? Wait until you get into this stuff.

Essentially the whole culture of Black Metal is to be as "shocking" and "satanic" as possible. This basically means writing a bunch of awful music and mentioning Satan a lot. Mayhem got notoriety for doing insane stuff in their live sets, like impaling animal heads and the singer cutting himself. They're the G.G. Allin of metal. They single-handedly created one of the most unrightfully pretentious genres of all time. According to a group of fans, if the guy making the music isn't making incredibly boring black and white cover art and wearing the right amount of "corpse paint," then the music sucks. Ew.

Enough background about the band and it's "accomplishments." What about the music itself? Well, I suppose it could be worse. It could sound like Alcest. Do you remember that awful band Venom? They take that pseudo-Thrash sound and the band's low-budget "my cellphone can record stuff better" sound quality and just speed it up a bit or something. There isn't singing. It's some dude shrieking around sounding like he's some drunk freshman puking after trying his first shot of vodka.

The end track has some incantations and I think they incorporate synths somewhere in there. It's hard to tell since the production just makes it nearly impossible to hear anything clearly. According to fans, "that's the point." I mean, it doesn't ALL sound that bad and they certainly have more skill than Venom, but still, why listen to it?

I really wouldn't recommend anything in this genre, so I just tried to provide some metal albums that you know, doesn't completely suck.


user ratings (908)
Chart.
4.1
excellent
other reviews of this album
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Comments:Add a Comment 
Ovrot
August 10th 2012


10495 Comments


Aren't you up a little late? You have school tomorrow.

Spec
August 10th 2012


27179 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

You can't really judge an entire genre of music when you've only heard about it from your Mom.

YoWassupBros
August 10th 2012


151 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

"Buuut moooom! I still need to wipe the corpse paint from my face! You know that if I don't take it off now, I will have another acne outbreak. Now how will Kim Grim notice my evil stare??"

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
August 10th 2012


18521 Comments


beautifully written

Digging: Objekt - Flatland

YoWassupBros
August 10th 2012


151 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

>mom

Implying anything with a vagina listens to black metal or even has heard about it.

sixdegrees
August 10th 2012


17149 Comments


lol

Digging: 10Minimal - Aluminum World

YankeeDudel
August 10th 2012


9313 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I like this guy. Hope hes serious and not just trollin.

Digging: Coroner - Mental Vortex

Ovrot
August 10th 2012


10495 Comments


dude is kim grim a real lady?
i bet she has massive jugs

YoWassupBros
August 10th 2012


151 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Nah, my reviews aren't meant to be trolls. I'm giving them what I really think about them.

Yah, Grim Kim is a real metal reviewer (srs). But like any girl that claims to like metal, she isn't
attractive. Granted, she isn't chubby but she is skinny and has no jugs. When was the last time there
was an attractive metal fan?? Bring Me the Horizon fangirls exempt.

YankeeDudel
August 10th 2012


9313 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I dont think anyone with a brain takes all the image and theatrics to black metal seriously though. Besides Varg.

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
August 10th 2012


18521 Comments


I like this guy. Hope hes serious and not just trollin.


I dont think anyone with a brain takes all the image and theatrics to black metal seriously though. Besides Varg.


at least we know whos account this is now

YankeeDudel
August 10th 2012


9313 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

You're a regular Sherlock

YoWassupBros
August 10th 2012


151 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

"Even though I've been locked up in jail for a long ass time, allow me to give you my expert opinion about the situation of the urban poor halfway across the world"-Varg

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
August 10th 2012


50455 Comments


"Like any other metal genre, it isn't very good"

lol what

Digging: Viper the Rapper - You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

sixdegrees
August 10th 2012


17149 Comments


he rated Emmure a 4.5

...try to be a bit more subtle next time.

Bleekill
August 10th 2012


832 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

fuck off and die bitch, you like emmure.

YoWassupBros
August 10th 2012


151 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

What's wrong with Emmure? I think they put on a great show and their songs accomplish their task: they get the mosh pits open, make you disrespect your surroundings and make for great music when you're doing curls in the squat rack.

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
August 10th 2012


50455 Comments


fak you

YoWassupBros
August 10th 2012


151 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

fek me

Ovrot
August 10th 2012


10495 Comments


you started bad, then you got better but you blew it dude



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