Laura Stevenson
Sit Resist


5.0
classic

Review

by KILL USER (57 Reviews)
July 16th, 2012 | 147 replies


Release Date: 2011 | Tracklist

Review Summary: laura cutesy

once in a while music brings surprises, such surprises are a rare occurrence indeed, one of those very surprises is a young beautiful woman that goes by the name of laura cutesy, she is a surprise to the musical industrial for one thing only, she sucks the forest of its fruits and fibre. now this may come as a shock to some of you but i dont jam to razor ALL the time, , merely 23 hours a day are taken up by that such music, of course my variation is impressive indeed, i will jam kates bush all admn day if i so please, but this is where i jamthe line, this is not purely music, tis more than that, tis rather cute fluff, happy fluff in fact. but not just any old fluff, tis in fact a queef, and this queef smells great actually. the first song rules, the second song rocks even harder, the third song wow its indescribable, this gem is better than jane djfidfh. on the song master of fart, she sings over gentlemen strumming guitars but her constant queefing takes the focus off her vocal style and more into that of which smells delightfully of plaice, this album is a artistic expression! only a realy art person would like it, or more perhaps a judo martial art master, or some other martial arts master, ***. even chan digs it, and if that doesnt show you this rules then you are dumb. her history explains it all, she was ruling from the start. Laura Stevenson was raised in Nassau County, New York, where she was introduced to male genitalia at an early age. Her grandfather, Harry redknapp, was a successful rapist and composer whose works included "The Little Drummer Boys dick" and "Do You Hear What I queef?". Simeone's wife (and Laura's grandmother), Margaret Mcqueefy was a singer for the jazz bandleader Benny diltchman. As such, Laura began learning queefin by "playing the piano and singing in choirs and that type of ***." Not until leaving her home for college, did Laura begin both playing guitar and writing songs. Growing up in Rockville Centre, Laura bequeefed members of Baldwin, NY's The Arrogant Sons of cutesys. After ASOB disbanded in 2005, Laura was appointed as a keyboardist for lead singer Jeff Rosendicks's new project, Bomb The Music Industry!. At this point, Laura had queefed a number of her own songs and was performing solo flower dancing acts. While recording and touring with BTMI!, Laura began to pierce together her vaginal flaps to stop the queefing, which was dubbed Laura butthole and the chodes. She was on the road to success you could say, what a fine woman and such a deserving one.


one music critic had this to say:

One thing about laura stevens that is so sweet is she is just a awesome person. Her music is like a chick sweating cherry juice if cihkcs had booberrys that could fart queef juice *** out of. The album is called sit resist and that name rules it shouldnt be called *** resist or better yet homo retard cause that is what laura rules and she rules. Chan’s summary says floting urgently – and that is correct. Laura is awesome though so she gives diltches a good time to dance and rock.
Another thing about laura stevens is the music – how queefin awesome can music get? La dispute gets busy with the facz more than this young beauty even though they 2 are ruling hard in their own right. They should do a duet called la gonk and laura sings and the la disrule woman cries like a woman *** should They can take out their behinds and fart except la dispute dude has a big ass and laura sticks her finger in her belly button to be silly and unique =]

This next section of the review is the court room section.
Judge: I call laura stevens to the stand. I hereby accuse you by the prosecturo as being a woman that makes stupid music. Do you plead innocent or guilty?
Laura: innocent!
Lawyer 1: I beg to differ! i give evidence as to why you are a artsy fartsy silly pants. Exhibit a: your music! It is queef. You are a diltcher. if i may, quite.
Laura: that has inspired me to write a poem to show you! * writes song abot being silly and unique and playful*
*sings cute song*
Judge: wow you have proved yourself to be a a great artist and a good at sarcastically playing bad music in court even though you rock! Jury what art thou wishes?
Jury: we find her innocent of the crimes broguht against her, she is awesome and cute and her cans are perky and dont go without notice me lord.
Laura: why thank you jury you are really nice to me and i wont forget this day
Judge: you are free to roam mrs cutesy – you are unique and dont let anyone bring you down my love ~



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Comments:Add a Comment 
BirthRite
July 16th 2012


1318 Comments


oh here we go



ThroneOfAgony
July 16th 2012


3485 Comments


posd but she sucks

KjSwantko
July 16th 2012


9443 Comments


lol Can you imagine what a new user to the site who didn't know KILL would think if they read this?

KILL
July 16th 2012


71957 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

a censored review dedicated to jon lord, rip brother

Digging: Exodus - Blood In, Blood Out

theacademy
Staff Reviewer
July 16th 2012


28639 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

rip

Digging: Jessie Ware - Tough Love

WeepingBanana
July 16th 2012


10186 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

what a hilarious combination of words

BirthRite
July 16th 2012


1318 Comments


good-morning sonic and kill

MO
July 16th 2012


18857 Comments


"i give evidence as to why you are a artsy fartsy silly pants"

fucking lol

SowingSeason
Staff Reviewer
July 16th 2012


16404 Comments


Now this is staff quality right here, better go tell Jom and Willie before they finalize the promotions

Digging: Weezer - Everything Will Be Alright in the End

KILL
July 16th 2012


71957 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

thanks sowing!

Gyromania
July 16th 2012


15941 Comments


I wonder when they're going to post those. Also, deja vu much?! Feels like I was just reading the same review yesterday. SO WEIRD

Digging: Lantlos - .neon

Blackbelt54
July 16th 2012


4276 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

"only a realy art person would like it, or more perhaps a judo martial art master, or some other martial arts master" I lol'd hard

there most likely will be haters on this thread but I thought this was kinda funny

Spec
July 16th 2012


27188 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

rules

conradtao
Emeritus
July 16th 2012


2090 Comments


also funny. i think i liked yesterday's a bit more though

KILL
July 16th 2012


71957 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

well yea of course this one sucks compared but jom warned my ass

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
July 16th 2012


50510 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Damn they all got deleted

Ire
July 16th 2012


41795 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

even better

Recspecs
July 16th 2012


9829 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

Hahaha fucking great.

YankeeDudel
July 16th 2012


9313 Comments


Kill did anyone ever tell you you're a FUNNY GUY

Digging: The The - Soul Mining

outline
July 16th 2012


563 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Laugh at 5.0, laugh harder at the fact that you still managed to fit in the word "queef".



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