Review Summary: Ruined potential through incompetence or just a generally poor release?
There's absolutely nothing wrong with a band that doesn't take themselves seriously. Sure, they don't always unleash the greatest music, but it's always nice to have a band that's just a lot of fun. The Starship Destroyers are a six-piece band who label themselves "geekcore", with the intention to bring a sort of geeky charm to their music, complete with their own mythology involving their unusual mascot "Alexander Powerslide the Dragon-slaying Dragon-man", from where the EP gets its name. It sounds like 'The Rise of Alexander Powerslide' would be a giant pile of metalcore fun. In short - it's not.
The EP opens with 'The Rise'. It's hardly impressive, but it provides a funny intro to the EP with the titular mascot introducing the band. After that it falls apart. 'Dial M' is poor in just about every way. The first, most instantly recognisable aspect is the absolutely abysmal recording quality. You can appreciate the "bedroom sessions" approach, with the EP being self-recorded, but the final result is almost unlistenable. The main riff of the song had potential to be catchy, but is completely ruined when the vocals come in. The so-called "screams" are entirely inhaled and create a completely unpleasant sounds. The clean vocals sound lazy and effortless. It just drags the song down and destroys any potential. The track could have been fun, but any signs of fun are ripped apart by poor vocals and terrible recording quality.
'We Fall to Earth' is almost a 180 turn from the previous song in terms of style. While they synth-player completely sat out of 'Dial M', he gets a front-seat role in the following track. No guitars; just a simplistic, yet still interesting trance track. Placed next to the previous track, it shows a lack of balance in the album. If 'Dial M' had some signs of synth in it, this track may have been more understandable. The recording quality once again ruins any shines of brilliance this song may have wanted to push through. The piercing inhaled screams overpower the bouncing beat, and the emphasis on the horrendous vocals simply makes them worse. Once that's over, 'The Fall' closes the EP, providing a surprisingly haunting outro, but when the outro is the best track off the EP, you're in trouble.
'The Rise of Alexander Powerslide' had so much potential but every sign of it gets completely destroyed in one way or another. Whether it's the headache-inducing vocals, the poor mastering, or the lack of balance amongst the mere four tracks, it's an EP that feels wholly rushed. The Starship Destroyers clearly need time to get it together, rather than seemingly forcing out their music while it has barely been perfected.