Fantastimo
Fantastimo Voyage


1.5
very poor

Review

by Wombat988 USER (11 Reviews)
May 13th, 2012 | 21 replies | 2,975 views


Release Date: 2012 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Well Fuck.

9 of 9 thought this review was well written

I never expected any different.

For many years, I searched for the perfect post-avant Jazzstep album. Stooma was a complete triumph, but lacked the approval of Crandynewman, so I was sure it couldn't be as perfect as my amateur ears made it out to be. I had almost given up hope, but then I noticed a review of 'Fantastimo Journey' on the front page of this website. I read the review, and it almost seemed too good to be true. I wasted no time in listening to the EP and spent the next week on my bed weeping with joy into my pillow. I had found it, after so long searching.

Fantastimo Journey changed my life. I was almost certain I'd found the gods of music. Then they released this.

That is where the first flaw in the work comes, as I mention the word 'they'. Fantastimo started as the pure unadulterated work of a single man (god?) with just his keyboard, his voice, and his lack of knowledge of 'on' buttons. As I listened to his debut EP, I could feel his entire soul washing over me; this was truly the work of a man putting his whole heart into his work. After listening to Fantastimo Voyage, I am sure that the devil himself has taken the form of a bassist and is paying back Fantastimo for making a deal with him for infinite music talent. The bassist is the tumour which hangs off of Fantastimo, producing a constant stream of bad ideas. It is really apparent in the music. Whilst Fantastimo Journey had a really whole feel to it, crammed full of innovation and ingenuity, Fantastimo Voyage sounds empty and heartless. Whenever the bass plays, you can hear the sounds of a thousand kittens having their heads crushed by KILL.

Another shortcoming of this album is quite ironic, being that the album drags out for far too long. Fantastimo Journey managed to cram all of it's perfection into a simple 88 seconds. Now it feels like Fantastimo is trying to drag out his album as long as possible, hoping to lure people in with the promise of a whopping 449 seconds (which for all of you who failed maths, is 5 times as long) worth of fantastic music. He doesn't live up to his promise though, and has brought extreme misery to my life.

There is some redemption amongst the piles of *** though. At the end of, 'Are You There God? It's Me, Robert,' a single chord is played to finish the album. While not played on his usual soul spurting keyboard, it is played on a guitar with such beauty and craftsmanship, it reminded me of what made Fantastimo Journey so great. However, it couldn't make up for the rest of the album, even if it was played for the entire 449 seconds.

I suppose we couldn't expect Fantastimo to follow up his masterpiece with something equal or better, but the horror of this album which has been brought upon us should have a layer of hell reserved for it. Preferably one close to the surface. We love you Fantastimo, just never, never, NEVER create an abomination like this again.



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user ratings (21)
Chart.
1.7
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
Wombat988
May 13th 2012



387 Comments


Yeah, I criticised Fantastimo, my house is lynch proof. Come get me Mofos.

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
May 13th 2012



17319 Comments


h8r

Digging: Monolake - Interstate

ThroneOfAgony
May 13th 2012



3485 Comments


lol

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
May 13th 2012



23604 Comments


"recommended by reviewer
Hitler The wonder years 1939-45"

lol pos

Omaha
Staff Reviewer
May 13th 2012



9463 Comments


I don't get why nobody likes this one, Cuntfuckula is so catchy

Digging: Koan Sound - Dynasty

Sirob
May 13th 2012



2653 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

another great fantastimo review, but i thought this was at least a 3.5

aqualungcancer
May 13th 2012



573 Comments


Dang. Did they make another album?

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
May 13th 2012



48520 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Yeah this one sucks

Digging: More Than Life - What's Left Of Me

mastille
May 13th 2012



532 Comments


the pure unadulterated work of a single man (god?)

Ire
May 13th 2012



41451 Comments


Hype ruined Fantastimo.

I hope Led Zeppelin V is better than this.

krig9412
May 13th 2012



791 Comments


I don't know what to make of this, but pos

TRMshadow
September 15th 2012



4982 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

'pos if this is actually sarcasm... if not, you fail as a person.

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
September 15th 2012



48520 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

This one sux, Led Zeppelin V is a million times better

MichaelSnoxall
September 15th 2012



12163 Comments


This is no Fantastimo Journey.

SirArthur6
January 3rd 2013



169 Comments


I like you, have a pos.

Mad.
January 7th 2013



2911 Comments


Aw fuck that, BONGO SOLO!

MeatSalad
April 7th 2013



13335 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

This is fucking amazing

Digging: Toxik - Think This

SitarHero
April 7th 2013



3993 Comments


"maths"

Lol. Silly Brit. Pos'd.

strangerthanfission
October 16th 2013



306 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

probably their most underrated imho

Trebor.
Contributing Reviewer
October 16th 2013



48520 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

nah Zeppelin V kills it



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