Cryptic Slaughter
Money Talks


4.0
excellent

Review

by Matt P. STAFF
February 10th, 2012 | 25 replies


Release Date: 1987 | Tracklist

Review Summary: FUCK YOU

Being pissed off is a pretty ***in' rad. Sometimes you can't really get anything done if you aren't ***in' pissed off and ready to fight. I mean, it might end in you having made the wrong decision but hey, at least you did something right? Luckily for us when cool people get pissed off and write music it generally turns out to be awesome (well, maybe not, but you get the point). Cryptic Slaughter's Money Talks is a prime example of being ***ing pissed off and doing something about it. Released right in the middle of the thriving New York hardcore/crossover movement Money Talks is full of angry riffs, scathing vocals, and a *** you energy that almost all white kids everywhere feel when they suddenly realize that the world really doesn't like them as much as they thought it did.

Aside from Nuclear Assault's John Connelly, Bill Crooks was probably the best crossover vocalist to ever yell at a bunch of sweaty teenagers. It was the perfect mix of higher pitched angry as *** yells and small bits of melody here and there. Just like everything else the band did it relied on pure energy to be good and with great effect. Cryptic Slaughter in general weren't exactly the most musically talented group in the world, but then again crossover wasn't necessarily focused on showcasing musical prowess. Most everything on Money Talks is pretty sloppy and spastic. But it works. If this record had been immaculately produced and performed it probably would have sucked ass. It's not about how good what you're hearing sounds but how it makes you feel. Yeah I know that’s a pretty pussy way of describing Cryptic Slaughter but it's pretty damn close to describing why this record is so ***ing good. This is the kind of record you listen to when you just want to beat the *** out of old rich white people on their ***ing stupid ass golf carts drinking ice ***ing tea.

Regardless of how sloppy and raw the music is performed the riffs ***ing rule. Conviction was more focused on being all out speed and aggression, but many places in Money Talks break down into a chorus or a low end riff and always sounds good as hell. Of course, most of the time the record spends its time blasting your balls off but the progression to more varied song structures was a great evolution for the band. There are a few solos spread throughout the record but they are there more as accents than an actual critical part of the songwriting. The lyrics stay with the territory of the "*** the system, I won't be a sheep, lick my asshole" kind of angst, which of course is awesome. Nothing is better than making music that old white people will hate because old white people suck. In fact, I think that’s the lesson Cryptic Slaughter was trying, very loudly, to teach. The older you get, the more you start to suck, so make the best of it while you still retain a bit of your enthusiasm. One day you'll probably be yelling at the kids down the street for messing up your lawn, but for now while you aren't so ***ty enjoy it, do ***, and don't give a ***.



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user ratings (29)
Chart.
3.5
great

Comments:Add a Comment 
Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
February 10th 2012


19069 Comments


came to comment on the review, saw it didnt have one, wrote a review

pos neg dont give a fuck record rules

Digging: Stereolab - Dots and Loops

CaptainDooRight
February 10th 2012


30338 Comments


Hell yeah, good day for metal!

POS

dammets
February 10th 2012


2035 Comments


Pos'd for summary and first paragraph

CaptainDooRight
February 10th 2012


30338 Comments


I like their debut a little better but these guys write some good stuff, too bad the stupid bassist left to play with Rob Zombie.

AngelofDeath
Staff Reviewer
February 10th 2012


16137 Comments


Crytpic Laughter

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
February 10th 2012


19069 Comments


GET OUT

AngelofDeath
Staff Reviewer
February 10th 2012


16137 Comments


This is good, but it's no Dealing With It or Shark Attack; am I right?

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
February 10th 2012


19069 Comments


it ranks up there

ValeriusTheImmortal
February 10th 2012


1237 Comments


these guys are good, wehrmacht, DRI are good, most of the crossover stuff is good, im just not a huge fan of it. bout the only one i return to is suicidal tendencies self titled.

KILL
February 10th 2012


72280 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

fuck yes rules but convicted is better

Digging: Throwing Muses - Throwing Muses

seedofnothing
February 10th 2012


3425 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Good review I didn't really care for this album tbh but pos

Wizard
February 11th 2012


19644 Comments


Fuck, you got me excited to listen to this. Great review, you've been on a role lately.

Digging: Ash Borer - Cold of Ages

ffs
August 26th 2012


4888 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

sick bass licks

KILL
August 26th 2012


72280 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

rocks but convicted rocks harder

CaptainDooRight
August 26th 2012


30338 Comments


faux



JamieTwort
Contributing Reviewer
September 14th 2012


21618 Comments


MONEY TALKS AND PEOPLE LISTEEEN

Digging: Foxes in Fiction - Ontario Gothic

ianjulian
October 16th 2012


637 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

***ing stupid

KILL
October 16th 2012


72280 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

ur dig is yea

KILL
October 17th 2012


72280 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

um its Progressive, Alt Rock, Post Hardcore

get it right

JamieTwort
Contributing Reviewer
October 17th 2012


21618 Comments


lol fuck Coheed and Cambria.



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