Slutvomit
Satanic Slut Metal


4.0
excellent

Review

by Frederick Metzengerstein USER (202 Reviews)
August 30th, 2011 | 42 replies | 8,062 views


Release Date: 2007 | Tracklist

Review Summary: A modern fusion of classical and melancholy post-rock.......PSYCHE!!!!!!!Raw black metal.

12 of 13 thought this review was well written

Slutvomit is a band that only a mother could love. Na, im just ***ing with you mates. Anyone who loves beer, Satan, riffs, and putting fear into the God squad will wholeheartedly love this blasphemous trio. There seems to be a great debate about what black metal is and isn't. Is it black metal if the production is clean or raw? Is black metal about Satan and fury or is about it some hipster tree hugging faggots attempting to save the ecosystem? Can you make a fifteen minute post rock infused song about all that is decent and still be black metal? *** no. For me the essence of black metal lies in an absurd amount of dissonance, unintelligible vocals, sloppy musicianship and fast paced riffing with a side helping of Satan. And boy can Slutvomit Satan. M/

Satanic Slut Metal is a terrific demo by the young Washington based trio Slutvomit. Obviously judging by the bands name and album title, Slutvomit is a classy and thoughtful bunch of young men poised on winning the hearts of America's youth. Their sound is energetic, defiant, brutal and at the same time heartwarming Satanic Slut Metal offers six delicious tracks of poorly produced musical insanity that is designed to rip Edward Cullen's ***ing face off and feed it to those pussy Injun man/wolves. Expect nothing but fast tempos, blunt trauma and Steel Reserve consumption. Yeah that's right, good ol 211. ***ing elite beer for the elite chupacabra slaying marauder. The thing that really sets Slutvomit apart from the other destitute hordes parading around as "troo" black metal bands is their vast confidence. Oh and their ability to write sick riffs. You can't forget the riffs man. No sir. Slutvomit riffs hard and fast for fifteen erotic minutes. M//


Once you press start you are greeted with the opening track "Bombing The Chapel". From the get-go you are violated with muscular riffs, harrowing screams and a copious amount of distortion. And then a solo comes in to simply "take your breath away". The next track Poservore features even greater riffs. This time you are greeted with furious tremolo picking and mid tempo chugging. The song is perfect for headbanging or banging heads, it's your preference rally.The guitarist(s) really love to shred. Quite often you are bombarded with skin tingling solos that makes you remember the first time you took a *** in a movie theater. The drumming has a really tight, aggressive sound. It's probably due to the fact that the snare and doublebass sound are ***ing sporadic. The drummer beats his instrument like a red headed step child. There are no peaceful ambient interludes or haunting acoustic numbers. Just pure ***ing aggression all the way through. The bass is heard quite often through this demo which is surprising. Bass in black metal holy ***. But whatever man. The tone is audible and dynamic enough to breathe life into this unholy recording. Having a Redline addled man spouting Satanic propaganda in a deeply unintelligible voice can benefit you in many kind of ways. Whether it's winning the girl of your dreams, making sputnik users leave the site, writing poetry or in this case being a frontman for a ferocious black metal band, being brootal earns you street cred. Whatcha know about street cred you honky mother***ers? The emotional instability and raw hatred permeating throughout this recording is vile enough to inspire Lady Gaga to pick up the guitars and write some sick riffs. M///

The point that i'm trying to make here folks is that Slutvomit are legit. Slutvomit bring the hardjams. They also bring the riffs. I know sputnik is in love with Wolves in the Throne Room and all those other fairy groups who hybridize black metal with shoegaze or progressive rock, but you know what, that *** ain troo. Either get with the mother***ing program and listen to the real deal or continue posing you hipster schmucks. M////



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user ratings (4)
Chart.
4
excellent

Comments:Add a Comment 
Ovrot
August 31st 2011



10468 Comments


fuck yeah
m/

Digging: Jean Michel Jarre - Oxygene

Hawks
August 31st 2011



34538 Comments


Knew this was a Balls review as soon as I saw the band name/album title.

Digging: Equilibrium - Erdentempel

Parallels
August 31st 2011



6640 Comments


lololol awesome balls
this is "Fuck Me Jesus" all over again

BallsToTheWall
August 31st 2011



44164 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

PEACE BE WITH YOU MY FELLOWS MINIONS OV THE DARK.


Almost. However this artwork isn't quite as hot as that albums cover work.

foreverendeared
August 31st 2011



14678 Comments


Excellent.

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
August 31st 2011



18053 Comments


m/

Digging: Huerco S - Colonial Patterns

BallsToTheWall
August 31st 2011



44164 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

M//

Hawks
August 31st 2011



34538 Comments


I want this so bad now.

Voivod
Staff Reviewer
August 31st 2011



5921 Comments


Their yellow-black avatar on myspace is fun and somehow "obscene" at the same time.

Idk whether it would be appropriate to post it here as a band pic, though...




Edit: My bad, i entered in a page of a -core band with the same name which has nothing to do with this band...

Digging: Essence Beyond - Carnivalism

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
August 31st 2011



18053 Comments


It is do it.

Hyperion1001
Staff Reviewer
August 31st 2011



18053 Comments


Also, that's the wrong band.

FatChickIrl
August 31st 2011



4096 Comments


Im so getting this

Pharoh
August 31st 2011



3326 Comments


Not enough swearing in this review

BallsToTheWall
August 31st 2011



44164 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I agree man. It must be a slut thing. First Volcanic Slut now this. But seriously this demo tape will get you laid man. Girls dig this shit.

FatChickIrl
August 31st 2011



4096 Comments


Girls dig this shit.


http://www.sputnikmusic.com/review/14253/Marduk-Fuck-Me-Jesus/

Got mad bitches on ma dick when I spin dis shit

BallsToTheWall
August 31st 2011



44164 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Dem riffs man.

Ovrot
August 31st 2011



10468 Comments


those riffs fucked jesus

BallsToTheWall
August 31st 2011



44164 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

Lol 2 ghost negs awesome. HATERS GONNA HATE.....Must be a bunch of christcore faggots.

Ovrot
August 31st 2011



10468 Comments


pos'd

AngelofDeath
Staff Reviewer
August 31st 2011



16134 Comments


Summary is fucking lol.



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