Back when men were men, rock was rock, and we didn't have fairies like Vampire Weekend prancing around in pink Polo shirts, a band existed that was so fearsome, their name actually came from a massive confederation of barbarians that terrorized the Roman Empire. That band was The Vandals… and then there was Saxon.
Listening to Saxon is equivalent in masculinity to mowing the lawn while smoking a pipe AND sipping on a glass of scotch, except the lawn is actually your own facial hair, and you stop after 5 minutes so you can go inside and watch reruns of M*A*S*H. Listening to Saxon is the hormonal equivalent of cage-wrestling a grizzly bear, strangling it with your bare hands, devouring its raw flesh, and turning its hide into a rug for the cabin you constructed using nothing but a dull box cutter and roll of duct tape. A scientist at Area 51 once tried concentrating Saxon into a pure liquid form so it could be injected into soldiers; he discovered the resulting serum to be 100% atomically identical to testosterone. He then spontaneously combusted.
This is the caliber of ass-kickery we're dealing with here. There are no stupid gimmicks or pretentious horseshlt to be found with Saxon. Just kick ass rock-n-roll- hard hitting riffs, face melting solos, pounding drums, songs about war, motorcycles, the apocalypse, and even seemingly non-manly things like rainbows which become manly by virtue of the fact that Saxon has decided to sing about them. Just look at the cover art. Look at the twisted rage in the barbarian's eyes. Look at his blood-stained sword. Look at his shield. It actually has dents in it. What kind of enemies has this dude been up against that his shield would actually have dents in it? This is clearly a guy you wouldn't want to mess with.
Just get the album. What are you waiting for? Why are you listening to Radiohead right now when you could be listening to real rock 'n' roll? Could it be that you're a fool who spends too much time caring about what Pitchfork Media thinks? I think so.
