Review Summary: These Hearts are all that's wrong with music today.4 of 9 thought this review was well written
Do you remember that last South Park episode, where all the new music sounded like sh!t to older people? Well, listening to These Hearts, I experienced the same phenomenon, so I've objectively tried to analyze why this is happening. Firstly, let us see, what These Hearts bring to the table:
- Soft parts, disrupted by heavy screams? CHECK
- Breakdowns? CHECK
- Senseless and long song titles, that appear to be witty to any uneducated listener, who's not smart enough to realize that it's just dumb (for the sake of being witty)? CHECK
- Annoying, high-pitched, autotune singing? CHECK
- Cookie monster screams? CHECK
Analyzing the above attributes, These Hearts probably had some kind of metalcore tutorial, because they sound exactly the same as every other metalcore band out there. No, I won't make this "all metalcore sounds the same right after As I Lay Dying made some commercial success" type of review, but that's something definitely worth noting.
Secondly let's see what does These Hearts's "Forever Ended Yesterday" bring to the table. Well, nothing really. It sounds like a bad mix of emo-punk bands featuring every metalcore song out there. Their single, "Apology Rejected" is the prime example of what I'm talking about. That song is forgettable and boring. Obviously, the structure is predictable: soft melody, followed by heavy riffs whereas annoying, high pitched singing gets disrupted by cookie monster growls.
I dare you, reader, to listen firstly "Apology Rejected" and right after that "Denial Is Not Just A River In Egypt". If you ever heard anything else than These Hearts, you'll probably question "does this songs sound the same?". Do not panic, you are completely right. Not only is the structure somewhat repeated, it appears the fair-haired singer is singing the same melody throughout the whole album.
"Romans 15" has an excellent intro, that reminds you immediately on Killswith Engage (at least the riff does). Musically it's the same: playing soft melodies, then some palm muted strumming. And while the high pitched excuse for singing is present, it really reaches its peak at "Quitting While You're Behind". He sings as high and as annoying as humanly possible and I'm being objective here.
"Thinking In Terms Of Two" is actually an acoustic song, which is kind of a surprise. It's actually the best thing on the album, and it's pretty average. But the last song, " Dime A Dozen", reminds you immediately why you disliked the whole album: another generic song, with nothing really worth mentioning.
Overall speaking, this album is completely forgettable, from the riffs, to the vocals, not to mention the rhythm section which could be done on some open-source drum generating software, with very limited scope if you get my drift. So what is this band doing on Victory Records you ask?
Well, the answer is simple: "These Hearts" have only one target audience and that is scene kids, which are usually < 18 years old girls and ugly boys, who cover their ugly faces with emo-haircuts and wear trendy clothes; all to divert the observer from their ugly, ugly faces. You know I'm right, reader and if you disagree you're probably a 16 year old boy or 13 year old girl, listening to "These Hearts" right at this exact moment. And you know something about scene kids? They BUY things. As long as they're trendy and as generic as hell.
So, while These Hearts may still be relevant in some 13-year old girl's room, they're completely forgettable in real world and should stop making this recycled-type music ASAP. They bring nothing new to the table, they didn't reinvent anything and what they're copying is by-the-book metalcore at its worst.