brokeNCYDE
Will Never Die


1.5
very poor

Review

by Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration USER (56 Reviews)
November 8th, 2010 | 139 replies | 27,398 views


Release Date: 2010 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Did you honestly expect anything different?

15 of 18 thought this review was well written

In its relatively brief time together, Brokencyde has always been one of the most hated bands in music, with a small group of dedicated fans defending the band against a vast majority of music fans who don't even consider the band's output to be real music. This minority group of people who will spend their entire days writing rebuttals against all the haters on Youtube say that people just don't understand Brokencyde's beautiful music. But do they have a point? It is true that many people hate on these crunk titans without even listening to them, and you can't deny that there is a considerable amount of possibly unfair bias and prejudice against Se7en and the gang. So, the question remains: by sitting down and listening to a Brokencyde objectively and without bias, can one appreciate it for the musical masterpiece that their fans proclaim it to be?

Well... Sorry, but no. There is a small handful of bands whom you can easily and accurately judge by listening to about 30 seconds of one of their songs, and Brokencyde happens to be one of them. There are so many things going against their music on this album, but you've certainly heard most of them before, so I'll try and be brief. The autotuned cleans are just as unlistenable and painful as almost all other autotuned cleans out there. Se7en's raspy shriek would be bad even if they were placed in the context of an album that utilizes screams in a constructive manner. Phat J's death-ish growls are the least terrible of the three vocals styles here, and might actually be considered average to decent vocals if placed on a good metal album, but their use here is just as atrocious as everything else about the band. The lyrics are just as laughably bad as you expected, offering up gems such as this line from lead single Teach Me How to Scream.

Peoples fist in the air at every show/
Ride my dick like a rodeo!


Classic, right? Well, it only gets worse. The electronic beats are just as painfully bad as you remember, and the lack of a single real instrument only contributes to the aural rape that is Brokencyde. One tidbit of terror that stands out from the rest is the blatant overuse of a percussion line sounding eerily similar to that at the very beginning of Rick Astley's undying classic Never Gonna Give You Up. Seriously, it is found in almost every real song on the album, and is one of the worst things about the album. So, honestly, did you expect anything other that this from the kings of crunk? Did you even think for a second that it could be a decent effort? There are some infinitesimally inconsequential redeeming factors here, such as how catchy a few of the songs here are. They remain awful songs, but there are some lines here and there that will get stuck in your head for hours, whether you like it or not. Also, this album will meet its intended use of being something to simply play at a party and dance to: there are many albums that will undoubtedly better serve this purpose, but this one will work. But these tidbits of decency are not anywhere near enough to save this album from being the atrocious crapfest that this was destined to be. Did you honestly expect anything different?



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user ratings (514)
Chart.
1.2
awful
other reviews of this album
1 of

Comments:Add a Comment 
wyankeif1337
November 8th 2010



6739 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Wanted there to be a (somewhat) well-written negative review here. Please, if this does not meet its intended purpose of being a semi-readable critique, tell me and give me suggestions for improvement.

cvlts
November 8th 2010



8954 Comments


would never review this. ever ever ever. cause that would mean i would have to listen to it.

didnt read, jus pos'in and gettin the fuck out.

wyankeif1337
November 8th 2010



6739 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I don't ask for anything more.

tiesthatbind
November 8th 2010



7373 Comments


Someone was gonna have to do this. Props on taking the bullet. I'm not listening to or rating this.

wyankeif1337
November 8th 2010



6739 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0



EyeForAnEye
November 8th 2010



1692 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

All the points I made in my review. This album is one of the worst things to be released in 2010, worse than Attack Attack! The yin to Underoath: Disambiguation's yang.

wyankeif1337
November 8th 2010



6739 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

new Underoath was soo good.

Makemebad35
November 8th 2010



747 Comments


Loving the reviews. Must be worth getting.

fr33convict
November 8th 2010



11687 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off



EyeForAnEye
November 8th 2010



1692 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

They hit stores on the same day. Which is an abomination. To get my copy of Disambiguation I'm going to have to fight through a sea of horrid hair and facial piercings scrambling to get this monstrosity.

theacademy
Staff Reviewer
November 8th 2010



28466 Comments


"Brokencyde has always been one of the most hated bands in music"

i dont know of anyone who hated them in '84

neg'd

Digging: Kimbra - The Golden Echo

Makemebad35
November 8th 2010



747 Comments


They don't even skim us out of songs. Loaded 18 song CD and they were gracious enough to even provide 2 skits on the CD.

BeardedIdiot
November 8th 2010



643 Comments


Ironically, this band needs to die. In a fire.

Anyway, you seriously subjected you to this anal prison rape? I listened to Teach Me How to Scream out of pure curiosity and can honestly say - that was the most retarded thing I've ever done. And I pulled a lot of dumb shit in my life.

Jesuslaves
November 8th 2010



4655 Comments




fr33convict
November 8th 2010



11687 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

A letter to the band:

[img]http://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z82/SB1069/roflcopter.gif[/img]

Love,
fr33

Jesuslaves
November 8th 2010



4655 Comments


^loooooool

MalleusMaleficarum
November 8th 2010



14294 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

"Brokencyde has always been one of the most hated bands in music" implies that they've always been a band.

They've been a band since music began.

americanmusicmachine
November 8th 2010



3953 Comments


they are legion. they are many.

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
November 8th 2010



23807 Comments


Teach Me How To Scream is my fuckin jam. Man these guys are so good.

americanmusicmachine
November 8th 2010



3953 Comments


"no instruments. no band. group."

so the band of brothers aren't a band? huh?

fuck you



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