6 of 9 thought this review was well written
1969. 69. the number that has stayed with us all
remember in middle school whenever someone said 69, or drew 69 on the board on the teachers coat or something then a round of laughs was to be had by all. it had power over us. it had raw power. and the number 69 still has power to this day.
i shant call it a coincidence that some of the most powerful albums ever done came out in the year with 69 in it. abbey road, in the court of the crimson king, bilbo's dildo, and so much more. but of the most significance was led zeppelin's first album. this was the first ***in album i ever listened to, and i love it to this day.
every song kicks dick, (my dick) but the only problem is that some of the songs drag on and two of the songs sound the same, but do not misunderstand me, every song on this album will kick you in the chode like a mighty queef to the face, or the chode.
jimmy page is like a goddamn wizard of fire, playing his guitar with as much precision and ferocisty as a guy who got stung in the dick by a wasp (wasp, a band influenced by led zeppelin!) and he jams his nuts all over this one. the band is fresh and they aint got nothin to lose, seeing as how page was kicked out of the yardbirds for sleeping with all the members' girlfriends and mothers, respectively. so he took his guitar and his big ol dick and met up with robert plant, the most beautiful man alive (people magazine, 1973) and john bonham, the monkey man, and JPJ the quiet, mysterious one who prolly got off to animals or something cause the guy never talked but he ruled.
but yeah page rocks, just listen to classics like "good times bad times'" (where he creates a 60s jammin sound) and "babe im gonna leave you" where he goes mellow and acoustic for a while but knows when to bust out the goddamned rock and roll again and then the almight "dazed and confused" where he plays like a black guy, and "communication breakdown" is borderline punk like stooges cause he ***ing kicks your chode.
and bonham? he drums like a neil peart high on PCP and ketchups
jpj? plays bass like a monkey on steroids
and of course, plant, only age 12 during the recording, sounds sexier than any of our bitchasses ever will.
so in short, grab a milkshake and stir this ***