brokeNCYDE
I'm Not A Fan, But The Kids Like It!


3.0
good

Review

by ffs USER (16 Reviews)
September 25th, 2010 | 56 replies | 8,360 views


Release Date: 2009 | Tracklist


31 of 38 thought this review was well written

Trolling is an internet phenomenon. One nerd says something stupid supposedly on purpose, other nerds get mad, insults are exchanged, everyone goes away from the ordeal thinking they are the victor. We've all been there, we've all done that but hopefully we still have enough dignity left not to wear the t-shirt. It's easy and not very interesting to troll on the internet, but what if someone was able to pull it off in real life? Obviously because of the nature of trolling it's impossible to concretely label someone as a troll, but a very good candidate would be Brokencyde.

Basically Brokencyde pander to two audiences. There are the actual "fans", woefully misguided teenagers who only seem to exist in the form of youtube comments and last.fm scrobbles; these are the people who actively enjoy the songs, they buy the music and merchandise, go to the shows and probably have sex with the band members if they're deemed good looking enough. That's all well and good, this audience help Brokencyde achieve what they aim to by being in a band, making some money, having fun and getting laid. But it's the other audience are far more important; they are the critics, the self proclaimed music elite. This audience listen to Brokencyde not out of enjoyment but because they are so angry at Brokencyde for making music. They write negative reviews about the band, they tell other people to listen to Brokencyde because it's so bad, creating a whirlwind of furor and indignation that ever perpetuates the Brokencyde hype machine. Brokencyde really are geniuses at fuelling their own hype machine; many people reading this may have heard of the (false) rumours that emerge from various corners of the internet about the band all dying in a car crash, or being arrested on charges of child pornography, et cetera. These were all media stunts, perfectly orchestrated by the band themselves. Brokencyde are so well known because it seems like everyone hates them. The really impressive thing about Brokencyde is how they deliver perfectly for both of their audiences.

The music itself is almost irrelevant. The synth lines are poor at best, and everything else is obnoxious. But this is music for scene parties; it's supposed to be obnoxious, and it is the perfect amount of obnoxious. The scene kids will enjoy the insipid beats and think they're being alternative by listening to music with naughty lyrics and screaming, and the critics themselves will scream with collective rage at the fact that this has the audacity to be considered music and that this band are making money from their craft. Imagine if you will the lives of the band members; they probably spend maybe a month of a year writing a few simple synth lines, scraping together a few stupid lyrics, re-hashing it all as many times as necessary then recording it and then spending the rest of the year doing shows, getting drunk and getting laid. They are achieving exactly what they want to. It's almost a certainty that some people are out there grinding their teeth thinking "I would rather make no money at all and retain my musical integrity...", that shows how infinitely less naive Brokencyde are from the rest of the musical world. Their music is shallow, forgettable and definitely lacking "musical integrity", and they've probably only got a couple more albums in them before the next Death Of Musicâ„¢ comes along (what ever happened to Soulja Boy?). Consider this: Amadeus Mozart, widely considered to be one of the greatest and most influential composers of all time died in 1791, grossly in debt and with relatively little critical recognition for his compositions. Sure, he's famous and fawned over by music aficionados these days, but now that he is just dust in a tomb somewhere in Austria what does that mean to him? Nothing at all. As he lay bed-ridden and dying, the last thoughts that went through his head must have been regret that he had wasted all that time on ultimately pointless "musical integrity" and wishing that he had spent more time getting drunk and getting laid. Brokencyde are well aware of this, and they know exactly how to use us to get what they want.

So here's to you, the ironically facial haired hipster who linked a Brokencyde video on your ***ty underground "indie" blog and proudly proclaimed them to be the Death Of Musicâ„¢. Here's to you, the overweight fifteen year old wearing your Between the Buried and Me t-shirt who got so full of rage when you heard "Freaxxx" that you slammed your fist on your desk so hard all of your zits exploded. Here's to me, the idiotic reviewer who wasted his time typing this review in which I literally compared Brokencyde to ***ing Mozart. We've all earned Brokencyde a few more forties and blowjobs. Brokencyde have trolled the *** out of all of us.

Either that or they're actually serious about this nonsense in which case yeah it's pretty bad.



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user ratings (1181)
Chart.
1.2
awful
other reviews of this album
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Comments:Add a Comment 
ffs
September 25th 2010



4670 Comments


i didnt actually listen to this but neither did anyone else who rated it


please dont neg!!!

Knott-
Emeritus
September 25th 2010



10193 Comments


amazing review

LepreCon
September 25th 2010



3544 Comments


I've listened. It is that bad. I've told no one to listen to this. The fact that I listened to this will haunt me for years to come. This review will also probably get taken down.

ShadowRemains
September 25th 2010



19430 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

excellent review, pos'd

i have listened to this...its not pretty whatsoever

vanderb0b
September 25th 2010



3473 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Awesome review. I listened to three-four songs and that was much more than enough.

Gorification
September 25th 2010



1124 Comments


oh god, i had a friend that used to be a scene kid, and he used to "bump" this shit in his car. i wanted to blow my brains out.

Dev518
September 25th 2010



570 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

We're supposed to rate music based on its quality, not based on how much it makes the "music elite" angry and how successful it is at getting the band members laid.

ffs
September 25th 2010



4670 Comments


the between the buried and me diss was probably a bit too far im sorry

Athom
Staff Reviewer
September 25th 2010



17114 Comments


i listened to the album. it's bad but i've heard worse

Digging: Sad Lovers and Giants - Feeding the Flame

StinkyWizzelteats
September 25th 2010



68 Comments


Good review, even though I think these guys make Violent J and Shaggy2Dope look like Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra.

RosaParks
September 25th 2010



14592 Comments


correct rating is a 1

Lucid
Contributing Reviewer
September 25th 2010



6958 Comments


People are just going to focus on the rating instead of the actual review. This is one of the cases where the review would be more effective if there is no rating displayed.

Digging: Wild Beasts - Present Tense

ffs
September 25th 2010



4670 Comments


feel kind of dirty having this rated at all actually

Enotron
September 25th 2010



7695 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0 | Sound Off

touche reviewer

ffs
September 25th 2010



4670 Comments


its not a bad review but why did you rate it so high?


because the rating system is too rigid and i wanted to convey the idea that i thought brokencyde were succeeding in some way with what they are doing

also im gay

Bleekill
September 25th 2010



832 Comments


if there is one thing lower than juggalos, it's crunkcore bitches

pizzamachine
September 25th 2010



12568 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

crunktastic

PinkBlackberry
September 25th 2010



2346 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Great review

kingjulian
September 25th 2010



1291 Comments


Review absolutely rules. One of the best I've read on here so far. Pos pos pos pos pos

pizzamachine
September 25th 2010



12568 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

So the reviewer concludes the album is good because the band uses us to get drunk and laid.






what?



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