Katy Perry
Teenage Dream


1.5
very poor

Review

by SterlingBlack USER (7 Reviews)
September 1st, 2010 | 41 replies


Release Date: 2010 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Katy Perry became famous with her hit song, "I Kissed a Girl". Now that she's become famous from those three minutes of sensationalism, you'd think she would try to write more meaningful music. You would think...

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (in which case, I envy you), you most likely know about how Katy Perry came out of nowhere, and made it onto the top of the charts with one song: “I Kissed a Girl”, an ode to experimental lesbianism to end them all. When it came out, everybody loved it. It was on the radio constantly. Every dance I went to ended up playing it. Rolling Stone ranked it the 20th best song of 2008. You wanna know what I thought of, after first hearing it? Suicide.

Don’t get me wrong; I have nothing against homosexuality. But, Katy Perry isn’t a lesbian, and the song isn’t about homosexuality. The song is about the same thing you see on commercials for Girls Gone Wild. It’s misogynistic, sensationalist and, to me, very offensive. But, two years after “I Kissed a Girl”, Katy Perry is still reigning as one of the biggest pop singers in the world. “Hot n Cold”, released a few months after “I Kissed a Girl”, was one of the biggest singles of 2009. And, oddly enough, I actually liked “Hot n Cold” quite a bit. The thing I liked about it was that it didn’t rely on the shock-value that made “I Kissed a Girl” and “Ur So Gay” into hits. “Hot n Cold” is the closest that Perry has come to making a great pop song. I began to hope that, maybe, she could release a good follow-up album.

“California Gurls” was the first single to be released from Teenage Dream, Perry’s second album. I began to feel my hope begin to deteriorate. It’s bad enough that she stole the title from a much better song, but this is way more offensive than anything she’s released, so far. She sings about wearing skanky clothes, having sex on the beach, and even brings Snoop Dogg in for a verse. Misogyny galore, I thought that Katy’d written her worst song, yet.

If only that were the case. Much like how I thought that Kesha couldn’t make a song worst than “Tik Tok”, I gave Katy a bit more credit than she deserves. I hadn’t yet heard “Peacock”.

Bringing up Kesha again, when I heard “Dinosaur” earlier this year, I hoped to God that it would be the worst song of the year. Because, if there could be a worst song released this year than that piece of shit, then music could pretty much be declared fucked. Well, I guess we better start with the declaring, because “Peacock” is about twenty times worst than “Dinosaur”. “Dinosaur” sounds like “Hey Jude” compared to “Peacock”. It sounds like fucking “Like a Rolling Stone” compared to “Peacock”. If “Peacock” isn’t the worst song I’ve ever heard, it’s definitely in the top ten.

Katy repeats the phrase “I wanna see your peacock” through a lot of the song, which isn’t clever or subtle. I’d have a lot more respect for her if she’d just said “I wanna see your cock”, because then it’d be at least a quarter less idiotic.

Still, the album does have some catchy tracks. “Hummingbird Heartbeat” could be a great song, just by melody alone, “The One That Got Away” is just about the closest she has come to any emotional depth, and even “California Gurls” could be a good song, if it weren’t for the lyrics. The only song where I actually liked the lyrics was her attempt at a ballad, “Not Like the Movies”, a song so boring that it nearly put me to sleep.

And, that’s yet another problem with the album: the tracks with the less-terrible lyrics are usually very bland, or just annoying, musically. “E.T.” doesn’t have great lyrics, but they aren’t awful. And, yet, it’s one of the less memorable songs on the album due to the irritating beat. I would think that the more bland the melody, the more she would have to resort to shock-value. But, I guess not.

The thing that bums me out about Katy Perry the most is that she is not untalented. Just listening to a lot of the vocal performances on this album fills me with admiration, and I really wish she would make an entire album full of “Hot n Cold”s. But, until then, I can’t respect her at all. I can’t respect her, because the fact that she needs to resort to stupid lyrics like “I wanna see your peacock” represents a lack of confidence in herself, which makes me just not want to listen. Even my personal favorite track, “Last Friday Night”, speaks of streaking and menage a trois. I really wish Aaliyah was still alive; she wouldn’t have let this happen.



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user ratings (492)
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other reviews of this album
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Comments:Add a Comment 
morrissey
Moderator
August 31st 2010


1688 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

This is barely a review about Teenage Dream. Only two paragraphs talk about the album, mostly it's just a rant about pop music. While you'll fit in perfectly, you'll need to expand the actual album review (like by mentioning the other ten songs...) before I can approve this. You've made your opinion of Ms. Perry clear, but we need more album-related content.



morrissey
Moderator
September 1st 2010


1688 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

thanks for adding those paragraphs, here you go


leonwashington
September 1st 2010


42 Comments


freaking nobodys avatar works -theacademy

mynameischan
Staff Reviewer
September 1st 2010


17920 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

yeah peacock really is one of the worst songs i've heard ever

tinkrbel
September 1st 2010


1698 Comments


you'll need to expand the actual album review (like by mentioning the other ten songs...)

translation: you need to do a track by track review

mynameischan
Staff Reviewer
September 1st 2010


17920 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

that is not what she is saying

PistolPete
September 1st 2010


3614 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

it's actually her third album, probably the second album you've heard of though

Digging: Banks - Goddess

tinkrbel
September 1st 2010


1698 Comments


@ chan
i know, it just kinda sounded that way by saying he needed to mention the other 10 songs

Gyromania
September 1st 2010


15791 Comments


holy hell, morrissey commented on a review thread

Digging: Lantlos - .neon

SowingSeason
Staff Reviewer
September 1st 2010


16144 Comments


could talk about the music a lot more, but okay review otherwise

album is mediocre pop

Digging: Alt-J - This Is All Yours

fromtheinside
September 2nd 2010


18363 Comments


this is a pretty bad review. your fifth paragraph could use a lot of work and a lot of your thoughts
are disoriented. you also repeat yourself too much. won't neg cause it's your first, but next time try
writing out all your thoughts then condensing them into concise paragraphs.

Digging: Gehenna - Seen Through the Veils of Darkness

BSX
September 2nd 2010


1633 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Dinosaur is music gold

morrissey
Moderator
September 2nd 2010


1688 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

" you'll need to expand the actual album review (like by mentioning the other ten songs...)


translation: you need to do a track by track review"

No that is not what I was saying, but thanks for the translation help.

Initially this review spent 70% of its time talking about "I Kissed a Girl", 20% about Kesha, and 10% about this album. He has since edited it to a respectable level.

I'm the last person to recommend a track by track, I think most of my reviews don't mention the album until the 10th paragraph either.

Lucid
Contributing Reviewer
September 2nd 2010


7026 Comments


why are people listening to this
honestly

Digging: Perfume Genius - Too Bright

Foxhound
September 2nd 2010


4570 Comments


Well I personally enjoy california girls..

RosaParks
September 2nd 2010


14914 Comments


Wont make it ten seconds into this album

Aids
Contributing Reviewer
September 2nd 2010


23848 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Pretty strange review. Weird that it has 6 negs though. It's not that bad.

DinoX
September 2nd 2010


3582 Comments


Bringing up Kesha again, when I heard “Dinosaur” earlier this year, I hoped to God that it would be the worst song of the year. Because, if there could be a worst song released this year than that piece of shit
-----
^this

You hate mainstream pop music? I have no quarrels with you.

Asiatic667
September 2nd 2010


4648 Comments


Today I saw the album trailer for this on tv, and it said that the Cd case is "Cotton Candy" Scented.

I'm intrigued. I will be stopping into a record shop soon to have a good sniff

Locrian
September 2nd 2010


1003 Comments


I have learned much about pop lyrics from reading this review. Unfortunately, I have learned almost nothing about the album.



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