Van Canto
Tribe of Force


1.0
awful

Review

by jitteryzeitgeist USER (36 Reviews)
July 31st, 2010 | 26 replies | 6,838 views


Release Date: 2010 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Duh duh duh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh! Duh duh duh, duhnuhnuhnuhnuh!

3 of 8 thought this review was well written

If you're not familiar with Germany's Van Canto, I highly suggest you open a new tab and watch the video for "Lost Forever", the spearhead track on their new effort Tribe of Force. I want you to notice the fact that they even do "thpfthpfthpf" sounds with their mouths for the flag the guy is waving around. Now, if you can make it through that video without bursting into intense, wracking fits of near painful laughter, you may take some objection to this review.

With an attitude inspired equally by schlockmeisters Manowar and the bits where Beavis and Butthead would "duh nuh nuh" their favorite tunes, Van Canto is Before the Dawn meets a barbershop quartet. The biggest thing that people will want you to know is that this a cappella metal outfit is not, in fact, gimmicky. I'd liken them to a modern Days of the New, where they were in fact a middling outfit stuck in the midst of a crowded genre and used an odd form of instrumentation to set them apart. Days used acoustic-only compositions, and Van Canto uses 3 people going "dun dun dun". I mean, if the only reason your music is seen as good is because you play it a bit differently, I'm going to have to say that that's the very definition of gimmickry.

Yes, Bel Biv Dakrua occasionally flirt with experimentation, molding the boys chorus oohs and aahs with their "rakkatakka" (I'm not making that word up... their bass is called "Dan dan" vocals... man I don't even...) style, blurring the line between the guitars they're supposed to represent and a Christmas recital. But it doesn't ever take off. It almost always sounds hollow and shallow, regardless of the complexity of the piece.

You want a good laugh? Listen to the female lead try the melodic solo from their cover of "Master of Puppets", where she is actually on key about fifty percent of the time.

What it all boils down to is songwriting, and the writing present in Tribe of Force is overdone, redone, and half-baked gothic metal that it would take a miracle from the great above to drag this effort out from the novelty category it so fitting has been thrust into. Other groups have taken odd angles at modern metal and rock, like Apocalyptica, and the results have been pretty spectacular. But while that group contains somber tones and highly-trained musicians in a string quarter, Boyz II Moonspell contains people with a rough understanding of a few basic scales and saying "Dum dum din".

The most preposterous thing about these douchecanoes is the air of supremacy and pretentiousness surrounding everything they do. If they likened themselves to a Richard Cheese outfit, I could see the value in such a group. Instead they aim right for the throat with hardened seriousness that would make even Bolt Thrower tell them to calm it down. Even if the members in this group were excellent vocalists (which they are not), and could throw out some serious Dio level vocal gymnastics, that would be excellent as well. But they aren't able to. Even their lead singer has several, visible, and glaring weak points in his vocal performance.

Van Canto is a miserable pile, but much like Plan Five from Outer Space, it's worth experiencing for nothing less that it's failed attempts at being a serious outfit. I can't say I recommend buying the album, but check out a few tracks. It may be the best laugh you have all week.



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user ratings (16)
Chart.
3.6
great

Comments:Add a Comment 
shindip
July 31st 2010



3536 Comments


this would be sort of cool if they had a better lead vocalist

jitteryzeitgeist
July 31st 2010



98 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Better vocalists period.

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
July 31st 2010



16310 Comments


I've heard quite a few songs by this band and nothing I've heard would warrant close to a 1. It's nothing amazing but I highly doubt it's this bad.

Digging: Ulver - Bergtatt

Crymsonblaze
July 31st 2010



7479 Comments


Only heard the two Metallica covers, but they're awesome.

jitteryzeitgeist
July 31st 2010



98 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

An a cappella band where half of the people can't sing very well...

Yup.

The heshers have come out to play.

Poet
July 31st 2010



5922 Comments


Lead singer is actually good. Listen to Kings of Metal

Tribe of Force is overdone, redone, and half-baked gothic metal


looooooool this isn't even close to gothic metal

jitteryzeitgeist
July 31st 2010



98 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Dude, quit kidding yourself.

It's somewhere inbetween the visual aesthetics of Evanescence with the attitude and spirit of Iced
Earth (with none of the talent, visual appeal, but all the theatrics). I'm not saying Iced Earth is
gothic, by the way.

Go listen to Before the Dawn and seriously, seriously tell me they aren't rolling on the same train
tracks.

jitteryzeitgeist
July 31st 2010



98 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

And their singer is pretty much weaksauce, and for a group focused on vocals, doubly so. He's unable
to maintain long notes without some tonal dropoff and, many times, consistency is awful.

XulOnerom
July 31st 2010



1818 Comments


I watched the video you mentioned, and I conclude that other power metal bands like Sonata Arctica or Nightwish are like this band sans the lulz

For some reason I feel like checking out the whole album. The fact that they had the balls to do an acapella metal record already guarantees them something more than a 1.

MutnikSpusic
July 31st 2010



560 Comments


dindrili din drili nya nya nyaaah waaahahaaaaaaaaawhaíííí

OMG I SUMMED TEH BAND!

vanderb0b
July 31st 2010



3473 Comments


This is better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjxE1Ebe1L8&feature=player_embedded

ReturnToRock
July 31st 2010



3448 Comments


Don't you mean Plan NINE From Outer Space!? As in, the worst movie ever made!?

Bitchfork
July 31st 2010



7584 Comments


um this is a'capelaeasdbjkasdbahslla power metal

AtomicWaste
Staff Reviewer
July 31st 2010



1985 Comments


Review uses more links than wikipedia, but is otherwise half-good, I guess. Lolz at Van Canto.

ReturnToRock
August 1st 2010



3448 Comments


Officially, it IS the worse movie ever made. They should rethink it though, there are quite a few worse ones (Punisher 2004, anyone? Bad Lieutenant? Resident Evil?)

Erratic
August 1st 2010



1120 Comments


Band is lol

MutnikSpusic
August 1st 2010



560 Comments


heavy lol on "members also liked "

TRMshadow
August 1st 2010



4982 Comments


Not a horrible review, but I expect a little more from someone with at least another 8 reviews under their belt.

Music isn't nearly as bad as he's making it out to be. Yeah, it's a little gimmicky, but it ain't bad.

XulOnerom
August 1st 2010



1818 Comments


I heard most of the album and yeah, it is power metal, which I don't like, but at least they are going for something a little original, for which I give them credit.

And while the review wasn't particularly bad, the reviewer was hellbent on flaming the band and making fun of their gimmick, without recognizing some of the band's obvious talents (seriously, try humming the riffs to Master of Puppets without stopping to catch your breath; it is pretty difficult)

KritikalMotion
August 1st 2010



2261 Comments


this is hilarious

it's so bad it's kind of good

i'd rather listen to this then a lot of things



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