Millionaires
Rated Xmas


5.0
classic

Review

by the academy USER (9 Reviews)
July 11th, 2010 | 47 replies


Release Date: 2009 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Co-written with Bitchfork. This is another CTtS review, only it's about Millionaires.

If you think about it, Millionaires' Rated X-Mas is a composition built off several metaphors, the foremost being the "Non-Objective Portrait of Karma," where crescendoing ambience seems to embody the daddy issues of three slightly overweight harpies, and their obsessive need to satisfy an older man (with a sexual dominance). The whole song is an allegorical representation of the theoretical undercurrents concerning Aristotle’s unmoved mover and modern day physics.

The story we are told concerns a sweet, innocent girl awaiting the arrival of St. Nicholas. For Christmas this year, our classy heroin would like something to satisfy the new, confusing sensations she has been growing into. Not much irony to be found here: Santa Claus represents daddy, and the mutiny he causes within her loins.

In the first verse a foreshadowing occurs: “I’ve been bad all year, that’s what mommy told me.” The tried relationship between mother and daughter indicates an overthrow (perhaps another way to say "actions speak louder than words"). This introduction (which is, unsurprisingly, about death) seems to present the birth of an idea, before moving on into a chaotic display of hilariously charismatic bleepo.

It becomes quite clear that, in terms of this record's extremely complex thematic foundations, lyrics are unusually important. Regarding, the imagery within the lyrics (“skeet like snow”), while many could (and do) argue that this provides adequate incorporation of political and theistic philosophy, to this reviewer it comes across as sloppy pretense. Why Santa? He’s in pretty bad shape, and he is clearly married to his work.

Any sort of simplicity is thrown out the window, but perhaps this is the point. The Millionaires use this allegorical setting to flip the modern American family structure on its head. Santa is married? Tough SH*T, somebody should have taught Mrs. Clause to take a dick like a real woman. This whole thing is her fault.

You can tell when the band is preaching politics and contemplating religion. “Santa slap me on the wrist, put me on your naughty list. All the boys are screaming you’re a Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!” They preach the infamous cliché: we are abandoned by daddy, "perfectly imperfect," as perfection is an abstraction by its natural animation, achievable by sexual intercourse with strange, overweight men.

The story behind the album is equally generic, but it's got potential to shine as a grand, layered tale, following the story of an unnamed young woman’s fulfillment of a lifelong fantasy. When you think about it, it’s a theistic tale of feminist grace. After she convinces Santa she’s for real, she involves Rudolph (obviously a metaphor for Muslims) in the sexual cocktail. The feminine libido is clearly what drives the world to turn.

Dual-vocal (and at parts tri-vocal) styling brings a much more self-important tone to the song’s political subtexts. Perhaps the Millionaires are just blind as to how emotion and the sound of rapidly flapping, sweaty flesh should mix? The result is depressingly pedestrian. Indeed, they may be, for with each unrighteous claim comes a more questions about their origins. In their own climactic apex, they are showered with “snow,” seemingly of questionable origin. Is it the fat man’s elevated egotism that they need for some sort of fleeting ecstasy, or rather the more rewarding and enduring peace on earth (in the form of reindeer spunk)? The answers just may be at the center of the storm.



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user ratings (40)
Chart.
1.6
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
acADHDemy
July 11th 2010


1124 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

wow guys, i know there have been a lot of CTtS reviews but I had something to say, so yea. Sorry.

Note: if you havent read this: http://sputnikmusic.com/album.php?reviewid=37849, then this review will make about as much sense (which is to say, not much).

Meatplow
July 11th 2010


5524 Comments


cock and balls

Obfuscation24
July 11th 2010


3939 Comments


Sounds like a modern classic

acADHDemy
July 11th 2010


1124 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

it most certainly is.

bloc
July 11th 2010


34951 Comments


Why didn't they call the song Rated seXMas? That would have been so clever.

Meatplow
July 11th 2010


5524 Comments


btw this is a single there is a good chance it could get deleted

acADHDemy
July 11th 2010


1124 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

it's an iTunes EP (?)... thing is, the song isn't on an official album, but can one song be a mixtape?

Meatplow
July 11th 2010


5524 Comments


it's an iTunes EP (?)... thing is, the song isn't on an official album, but can one song be a mixtape?


I have no idea what you are talking about but the answer is probably no

acADHDemy
July 11th 2010


1124 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

whatever, i asked in the meds thread. if it gets deleted, it gets deleted.

still, there should be some way to review songs officially released but not on an EP/LP/Compilation

tinkrbel
July 11th 2010


1698 Comments


somebody should have taught Mrs. Clause to take a dick like a real woman

true
she involves Rudolph (obviously a metaphor for Muslims)

sooo obvious
the more rewarding peace on earth (in the form of reindeer spunk)

lololol!
i hope this doesnt get deleted

BallsToTheWall
July 11th 2010


44713 Comments


Elegant review for a classy group.

Digging: Reverend Bizarre - Return to the Rectory

beatific
July 11th 2010


102 Comments


it's a single you retards

Counterfeit
July 11th 2010


17819 Comments


duh?

acADHDemy
July 11th 2010


1124 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

why is beatific so angry?

it's a single but it's not on any official release...

beatific
July 11th 2010


102 Comments


huurrrrrrrrrrrrrr

ihopeuchoke
July 11th 2010


668 Comments


This song changed my life. So revolutionary. It's like Kid A on crack.

Valle
July 11th 2010


49 Comments


Hopefully this is as good as any song on Bling bling bling!

Ire
July 11th 2010


41805 Comments


Woah

Meatplow
July 11th 2010


5524 Comments


what happened to the remix song listed in the tracklist

acADHDemy
July 11th 2010


1124 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

I could not find the proper title for it, so I assumed it was not released by the band... I figured it would be better to erase it for accuracy purposes...



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