Lil Wayne
Rebirth


1.0
awful

Review

by Bulldog USER (114 Reviews)
February 4th, 2010 | 100 replies | 6,642 views


Release Date: 2010 | Tracklist

Review Summary: NEW YORK TIMES

23 of 25 thought this review was well written

ROCK MUSIC V. DWAYNE MICHAEL CARTER, JR.
By MIKE JOHNSON
Published: March 11th, 2011

Washington, D.C. --

After many speculations, press conferences, announcements, and interviews, the case of Rock Music v. Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr. has finally made its way to the United States Supreme Court and the session is expected to begin this Saturday. The case was scheduled to begin early January this year, but because Dwayne Carter, Jr. had not been released from prison yet, it was suspended.

The Rock Musicians Union had filed a lawsuit against the rapper that goes by “Lil Wayne” on grounds of defamation and slander [against the musical genre of rock.] They are reportedly seeking all of the revenue garnered from Wayne’s February 2010 album Rebirth.

Rebirth is best known as one of the only rap (despite being a rock/rap crossover) albums to go diamond, and being a RIAA certified 13x platinum album. The sum of money the album generated is expected to be between $129.7 and 134.2 million dollars.

So what does the Rock Musicians Union plan to do with all the money? Chairman Chaim Witz stated, “We plan on using it [the revenue] to buy out radio stations who promote garbage, such as this, and misrepresent it as music. We will then sell shares of the radio stations to quality rock record labels, and the rest will go to charity.”

Lil Wayne came to his own defense, saying, “This is a violation against my right of free speech. I’m entitled to make music the way I wish to, and if that means I have to misrepresent the rock star persona and abuse a guitar, so be it.”

During the first day, several witnesses were called to the stand, including Bryan “Birdman” Williams, Ringo Starr, Axl Rose, and the reanimated corpse of Jimi Hendrix. The main evidence submitted was Lil Wayne’s album, which was listened all the way through, and caused Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to faint. Which was followed by a brief period of subconsciousness, which all happened about two minutes into the song Prom Queen.

“It was terrible,” she said, “His raspy, lazy vocals; young, rich American rebel lyrics; and low quality, ‘poser’ teenage garage band rock mixed with ‘club’ hip hop was a disgusting mutant, formed out of the two bad characteristics of two legitimate musical genres. This will certainly not help his case.”

On a phone call, Michael “Mike D” Diamond of The Beastie Boys commented on the issue, stating that he regretted he and his group kick started the rap-rock concept. “I really wish I hadn’t [been involved in the making of it.] I mean, it would have been done anyway, but I still feel responsible for this low point in music history.”

Demetrius “Meanie” Hardin of the Shop Boyz, the group best known for their hit song Party Like a Rockstar, showed up in support of Mr. Carter. “This is a really good album,” he said, “it gets a big thumbs up from me. I don’t understand why the union is mad over this.”

A small addition to Lil Wayne’s troubles was Soulja Boy, who commented via YouTube that he had ‘beef’ with the rapper because “Lil Wayne took my job; I’m supposed to be the king of mainstream hip hop, and this (expletive) is trying to steal this (expletive) from me, and I don’t appreciate it.”

Production of Lil Wayne’s upcoming album Rebirth 2 has been postponed, and any further sales of Rebirth have been put on hold until given clearance by the court, citing Baltimore, Maryland otalaryngologist O.W. Mears. Dr. Mears said, "This album clearly posseses a public health threat to one's ears. Listening to Rebirth over an extended period of time exposes you to the possibility of chronic ear drum damage. I highly advise not listening to this album."

Court will resume on March, 13th, as Justice Ginsburg was rushed to Georgetown University Medical Center for precautionary reasons. She is expected to stay there for two nights and a day, or until cleared medically.

NY Times legal analyst Jim Cummings says of the case, "Looks like the Union has a lot on Wayne. So far, it's not looking good for him, expect him to get buried in a landslide. They're giving him a run for the money." Literally, so.



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user ratings (713)
Chart.
1.3
very poor
other reviews of this album
1 of
  • Henomeister (1)
    Quarantine the area, because Wayne is back infecting the world with his stupidity....

    Jonathan Kroening (1)
    Heavily distorted guitars and bombastic rock drums littered with spoken verb, unfortunatel...

    Pterodactyl (1)
    This is just another example of how not to make music....

    Rhinoceron (5)
    "Woke up this morning with my dick to the ceiling, fell asleep with anotha chick from my b...

  • Rudy K. STAFF (1)
    Rebirth is the kind of album only the painfully oblivious could make....

    Joe Schmoh (1)
    Oh god this is an atrocity... oh wait that wasn't a surprise......


Comments:Add a Comment 
Bulldog
February 4th 2010



3796 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

This is a joke, all accounts - and events thereof - of this are fictional, and are no way intended to be the truth, only a long running gag to convey the fact this album is terrible.

shortone323
February 4th 2010



883 Comments


I enjoyed it. And I heard Prom Queen once and I never want to hear it again.

Bulldog
February 4th 2010



3796 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

"BUT SHE HAD OTHER PLANS."

No wonder. Glad you enjoyed the review

Emim
February 4th 2010



26512 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

One of the best court-themed reviews I've ever seen. Nice job, pos.

Metalstyles
Staff Reviewer
February 4th 2010



8318 Comments


nice review ;)
pos

Bulldog
February 4th 2010



3796 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. This is my first concept review. **childishly excited**

Gyromania
February 4th 2010



15202 Comments


I don't often 'get' the point of concept reviews, but this one stood out and was entertaining- although you might get people pointing out that you really should have delved into the music more. I know Lil Wayne's sound and will download this just so I can say I listened to it.

Also, this line in particular stood out in terms of humor: “This is a violation against my right of free speech. I’m entitled to make music the way I wish to, and if that means I have to misrepresent the rock star persona and abuse a guitar, so be it.” You get a pos from me

AggravatedYeti
February 4th 2010



7684 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

this is prob the best thing you've written here honestly.

Bulldog
February 4th 2010



3796 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

@Gyromania & AggravatedYeti - Thanks guys, glad you liked it. I had the idea of coming out with a concept review for Raekwon's Coke Up in Da Dollar Bill, but that wasn't such a good review. I'm glad this turned out well. :-D

Kiran
Emeritus
February 4th 2010



6000 Comments


i'm not a big fan of concept reviews because i believe there needs to be a meeting point between the actual review and concept, meaning the concept used has to be able to accommodate critique in its format, and too often thats ignored. nothing against your review, just a pet peeve of mine. a really fun read though, regardless, and since thats essentially the purpose, have a pos.

Digging: Spoon - They Want My Soul

SeaAnemone
February 4th 2010



19763 Comments


It doesn't describe the music well, at all... but I think we're all familiar with Lil Weezy and his new direction that it works.

Digging: Towers - Bel Air Highrise Plantation

Bulldog
February 4th 2010



3796 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

@Kirgasm - thanks that comes alot coming from a contributor. :-D

@SeaAnemone - I tried to sneak in a description in the Ruth Bader Ginsburg quote.

Gyromania
February 4th 2010



15202 Comments


@Gyromania & AggravatedYeti - Thanks guys, glad you liked it. I had the idea of coming out with a concept review for Raekwon's Coke Up in Da Dollar Bill, but that wasn't such a good review. I'm glad this turned out well. :-D

You should try it; I'm not a huge fan of hip hop music but it's good to see that people like you and kingsoby1 are covering that department well. Now all we need are people to promote more soundtracks and classical compositions.

I mostly agree with Kiran though- more often than not the review goes off into unnecessary humor and idle jabs and loses focus of the music itself



Kiran
Emeritus
February 4th 2010



6000 Comments


i'm actually really tempted to listen to this so i can fully understand how bad it is

Bulldog
February 4th 2010



3796 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

@Gyromania - All humor is necessary. :-)

lol.

@Kirgasm - don't. quick. hurry. turn back. save yourself.

Meatplow
February 4th 2010



5524 Comments


Album is exceptionally mediocre.

asaf
February 4th 2010



885 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

if it ain't the martian, i ain't worried about it....

MUNGOLOID
February 4th 2010



4277 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

i'm not exaggerating when i say that this is the best concept review i've read since rapreviews.com's review of common's "universal mind control."

tiesthatbind
February 4th 2010



7372 Comments


Lil Wayne is so clever. He titled one of these songs The Price Is WRONG, hahaha he's so witty, best rapper eva!!!

He and Fred Durst should have a guitar duel.

Digging: Anberlin - Lowborn

MUNGOLOID
February 4th 2010



4277 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

the price is wrong bitch.



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