Heidi Montag
Superficial


1.0
awful

Review

by ziroth USER (3 Reviews)
February 1st, 2010 | 23 replies


Release Date: 2010 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Well, what did you expect?

Reality television has been a huge topic amongst couch potatoes and teenage girls for over a decade. Whether it is American Idol, which has been viewed by an average of an astonishing 30 million people, or another show portraying parents try to deal with their spoiled children, reality television has had a stupidly big impact on our society. And what kind of world would it be without such characters as Heidi and Spencer, from The Hills? Well, Superficial would’ve never happened, and that’s enough for me to wish that the reality TV scene went away a long, long time ago.

The album title, Superficial, is incredibly fitting, especially as of lately when the already attractive 23-year old opted to have seven plastic surgeries, back-to-back. Unsurprisingly, the unorthodox decision translates into her music career rather well, as the music itself seems to have undergone several plastic surgeries before release. The album has no life, no emotion, no passion, and sadly, that’s not even the worst part.

Perhaps the saddest part of the album is that, despite her popularity, the album that Heidi herself provided $2,000,000 in funds for, has sold only about 600 copies in its first week. Oops!

The music on Superficial, even to the most hardcore pop fan, is underwhelming, and to most will prove absolutely atrocious. The aspiring singer turns out to be a terribly mediocre (at best) vocalist, and the lyrics are even worse. Most of the choruses fail at bringing a proper hook, and even at the catchiest moments of the album, you won’t want to sing along. The backing music is average dance pop-esque electronics with nothing to brag about. There are no memorable moments on Superficial, except for maybe when you first hear the lyrics to the title track and think to yourself: (spoiler alert) “Wait, she really doesn’t think she’s superficial?!”

So, is there any part of the album that makes Superficial worth wasting forty minutes on? Short answer: no. The album is head achingly agitating and poorly written, and Ms. Montag is already rich enough, let’s not try to encourage her in any way.


user ratings (19)
Chart.
1.5
very poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
ziroth
February 1st 2010


1252 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Way shorter than I intended... oh well. The album is actually worse than this review. No kidding.

MassiveAttack
February 1st 2010


2688 Comments


You should lower the rating. I don't even need to listen to it.

Prophet178
February 1st 2010


6397 Comments


Should've taken some more time on writing this I think...

ninjuice
February 1st 2010


6760 Comments


She's hot though.


I am so superficial

Rationalist
February 1st 2010


880 Comments


Spencer's gonna put out a rap LP to make up for this.

Rationalist
February 1st 2010


880 Comments


somebody gave brokencyde a 5....
either a troll rating or a prepubescent girl with a mother whose latest plastic surgery hindered her ability to discipline.

BallsToTheWall
February 1st 2010


44471 Comments


Bitch needs to be put down.

Digging: Tove Lo - Queen of the Clouds

Rationalist
February 1st 2010


880 Comments


via rusty needle in the eye with a texas chili bowl to boot

TheNewWhack
February 1st 2010


1472 Comments


This bitch actually made an album!

iarescientists
February 1st 2010


5863 Comments


album title is too self-aware

it's making me feel uncomfortable

Bfhurricane
February 1st 2010


6197 Comments


600 copies sold in the first week? Holy crap, I almost feel bad for her.

ReturnToRock
February 2nd 2010


3448 Comments


Analysis of the cover alone tells me we'll be seeing this album on those big wire-mesh baskets at retails stores, on sale for 25 cents, in six months. And even at that price they will never be able to stock off entirely.

Also, seven plastic surgeries and she still has a face like that!?

Kiran
Emeritus
February 2nd 2010


6001 Comments


600 copies, so tragic

shortone323
February 2nd 2010


883 Comments


Haha at 600 copies. I have a little more faith in humanity after reading that.

ebay
February 2nd 2010


501 Comments


i did not even know she was attempting a music career.... but then again who isn't nowadays

americanmusicmachine
February 2nd 2010


3953 Comments


"album title is too self-aware

it's making me feel uncomfortable"

yeah I thought the same thing. weird for a reality tv star.


SeaAnemone
February 2nd 2010


20370 Comments


ummm hello odd rating.

Digging: Holy Sons - Lost Decade II

americanmusicmachine
February 2nd 2010


3953 Comments


hello SeaAnemone what's goin' on?

SeaAnemone
February 2nd 2010


20370 Comments


no much- got a new profile pic to communicate some of my enthusiasm for Lost tonight.

I'm gonna go take a nap though.

Later

AlexTM510
February 2nd 2010


1401 Comments



600 copies, so tragic


in the sense that she sold 600 too many you mean =P



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