Review Summary: Listening to this is like aborting babies with your bare hands.4 of 11 thought this review was well written
I think that one thing that almost everyone has in common is that they like good music. Emmure came along just to *** all that up. I will give this album a review by listening to every track once; for the first and the last time. With vodka in hand, I come to this album for a good laugh. Hopefully, it chooses not to disappoint me. Here goes nothing.
" Young, Rich, and Out of Control"-It sounds like there is a monster in the closet. The instrumentals are going chug chug chug and suddenly everything gets louder and there is more breakdowning. Is that a southern feel to your guitars mister guitar players? You sound like you are trying to do a bad imitation of industrial music. Oh *** the song is over. All I heard were some indecipherable lyrics and then a chugchugchug all the way to the end. Did they actually do anything there for a second?
" Sound Wave Superior"- I just realized that someone said Emmure: Young, Rich, and Brutal on the youtube comments section. Probably because Emmure is just so ***ing brutal right? They can break it the *** down. It tells me to check out more Emmure but I don’t want too cause they are so hardcore. It feels like they are trying to lacerate my ears. I think I just heard some really ***ty high screaming. The vocals go DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN but I can’t get any lower I’m already on the floor! Jun Jun Jun Jun Jun Jun I can hear the guitars ripping it up back there. I think that the growler dude just went THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID. I am looking for some form of substance other than the chugging and the bad vocals but I cannot seem to find any.
"I Only Mean Half Of What I Don’t Say"- I feel like I am listening to the exact same song, only I had to do a different search. I just heard the word *** I feel like I am deciphering a Nick Greer review written in Spanish. I don’t speak Spanish. These guys are just way too brutal to do anything but breakdown I guess but it just makes it so much more fun when I am listening. I hear chugging again are they drinking a lot of chocolate milk in the back while the skramzer is going RAAR *** RAAR or am I dreaming? I think switched to saying AN-TE-LOPE now. I can’t tell. There is a guitar player going wigga-wigga-wigga and now the song is over.
"False Love In Real Life" Someone says at youtube.com that there is really good bass at 0:40-0:56 I will be alert. Found a music video for this one. Oh god he found a lightbulb and he is making scary faces by it that makes it a lot scarier cause it is deathcore says youtube. More chugging (duh). They went wigga wigga again! The bass line goes DUN DUN DUN DUN nothing special what a ***ing liar. This video is trying too hard. They want me to DIE ***ING DIE now. I’m not killing myself for you stupid lightbulb boy. I’m pretty sure a pig just started singing. Oh god they’re beating the music like a RED HEADED STEPCHILD
! I want a cool guitar riff! I will teach a monkey to play guitar and when they come to town I will have the monkey play instead of the guitarists. The drummer sucks too. Unless you count talent as how many times in one song you can hit a bass pedal. Nothing tasteful about any of the instrumentation here. Or the vocals.
" Chicago’s Finest"- Oh my god what the hell they just found a melody?!?!? It sounds like they ripped it off of the Fray it sucks that bad they feel all alone too. They wanna come back home mommy they just wanna be home again. Oh god. They are breaking down again. Why do they even try? They try too hard and they fail because they keep thinking they are amazing and enjoyable so they just do whatever the *** they want I DON’T WANT THEM TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT I WANT THEM TO STOP BREAKING DOWN. Change your dreams? I think he wants me to conform to his available audience. Who listens to this ***?
"Tales From The Burg" The harsh vocals on the higher register sound even worse than the ones on the lower register. They keep saying JUST ***ING DIE they need to sing about positive things they have problems the lyrics are so bad. They need to discover ponies and rainbows and tiger lilies jesus they just keep talking about how ***ING OVER IT they are obviously not cause they would not be singing about it if they were duh! I’m trying to get into it but I just can’t it is so bad it is like the soundtrack to an obese teacher screwing their kindergarten child after school. Oh guess what comes next? Another breakdown. Didn’t think you would hear that one coming did ya? Emmure just pulled a fast one on you bro.
"Rough Justice"- Ok this one has lyrics I can look at. Cool. “This is the only war I wage
The only war worth fighting for
I know this message will reach few
But what can I do?
There simply is no saving you
Stand on your feet and fight”
Is he punching his pregnant girlfriend or something? Jesus he is rude. They just tried to do one of those really awesome rhythmic vocal thingies but it was entirely uninspired so it just ended up sucking a lot of ass. It sounds exactly like the last song only this time it sounds even worse than the last one I think that the repeated listens of different tracks is ***ing with my brain. I really just don’t see any value in this ***.
"Snuff 2 the Resurrection"- Oh my Lanta this song is 7 minutes long! If they are going to make a song seven minutes long they could at least stop slowing down the tempo and boring me to death. I mean, if there was something interesting or inspired here to play around with it wouldn’t be that bad but obviously nobody ever taught them about SONG STRUCTURES or DYNAMICS. The transitions between the breakdowns come across as painfully awkward in this one. If I wanted to headbang I would listen to this but since I don’t I don’t know why I am listening to this. They should try rapping in their songs. It would not make it better it would make it a hell of a lot funnier though. I like funny things. I am getting bored with this song I want to play doodle jump on my ipod but I cant cause I am writing a review. Oh god. The music just got silent. Maybe they will try something interesting now. No. Just silence. It’s such a welcome break though.