Attack Attack! (US)
Someday Came Suddenly


1.5
very poor

Review

by Zipzop5565 USER (20 Reviews)
December 23rd, 2009 | 258 replies


Release Date: 2008 | Tracklist

Review Summary: This is a plea to all musicians: For the sake of our children and our grandchildren, do not leave us with a legacy of terrible music.

Imagine if you will, a monstrous, hideous entity of pure evil: A hydra erected from some of your worst nightmares, as well as the most demonic beings from some of popular culture’s mythos such as the terminator, the acid spewing aliens from the “Alien” series, Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, the murder robot ED-209 from “Robocop”, and the chainsaw wielding psychopath from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

That behemoth doesn’t hold a candle to the abomination nightmare that is Attack Attack!

One of my friends told me to listen to a song from these guys. I forget which one it was, because I was too busy breaking his trachea with a tire iron for telling me to listen to that song, but during this pummeling my friend described this band as crabcore. Now, I had no idea what ‘crabcore’ was, and upon further research, I discovered it’s just some stupid genre someone created after watching a video of the band’s song “Stick Stickly.” This only proves that you can put any word in front of “core” to describe a metalcore band.

Metalcore / Electronica / Pop Rock band Attack Attack! (not to be confused with the Welsh rock band Attack! Attack! Even though it’s damn confusing) have done more to damage our generation of youth than drugs, television, movies, and Stephenie Meyer combined. I find it depressing that after all these years"all these generations"of music, we’re giving our children the audio version of vomited *** in a blender. But, that’s too harsh. Here I am bashing this album and the band when I haven’t even discussed the music yet. Well, they never said this would be easy.

Looking at the tracklist to “Someday Came Suddenly” doesn’t give us much hope. Much like The Devil Wears Prada, the band gave their songs stupid titles with lyrics that have nothing to do with the songs themselves, alienating anyone who wants to study their lyrics. Though I imagine that demographic of persons (people who spend their time reading Attack Attack! lyrics) is about a the same size as people who enjoy cleaning gas station bathrooms with their tongues, I find stupid joke song titles an immature gag to gain fans with IQs lower than used condoms.

The first track, “Hot Grills and High Tops” sounds like Brokencyde, and I nearly shut off my music player because of it. Fortunately, the hip hop / electronic interlude is brief, and then segues into “Stick Stickly.” I have to admit, the transition was rather smooth and well done. Unfortunately, “Stick Stickly” starts with a breakdown, but the song gets better. Despite the bland guitar riffs, boring drums, and inaudible bass, the song is listenable, and somewhat catchy. The clean vocals are all right, but are assisted with autotune, which makes them lame. For the most part, the song is ok, but it becomes a train wreck around the 3:00 mark, turning into a song you’d probably hear at your high school prom. The clean vocals have so many effects and autotune that I don’t want to listen to them.

“Bro, Ashley’s Here” is misleading, because Ashley isn’t mentioned in this song, so I guess she’s not here after all. Instead, we have some breakdowns, some more ear-splitting screaming, autotuned clean vocals, and bland lyrics. It’s at this moment, I come to a realization. I remember watching an episode of Gilmore Girls where some girl was dating some guy who could only talk in clichés such as “Don’t throw stones in a glass house” and “It takes one to know one.” That’s what this band is: one giant cliché. The band members are all clones of each other, the songs follow the basic formula of screamed vocals, breakdown, clean vocal interlude, breakdown, some electronic beat, breakdown, breakdown, and more screaming. Okay, so it isn’t so basic, but this formula continues for nine more songs.

The rest of the songs are basically the same, except for “Interlude”, which sounds like it should be at a fifteen year old girl’s party. Some have the clean vocals sections, while others don’t. Besides that, and the lyrics to the songs, there isn’t much innovation in the musical sense. Barf.

As for the instruments, they’re what you’d expect from a metalcore / electronica band. The guitars play basic, bland riffs, though you will hear a quick pinch harmonic at times, which is cool. The bass doesn’t exist, and the drums are played competently, and can be interesting at times. The keyboards and electronic effects overshadow most of the instruments, however, and they are used all the time. For the most part, they’re okay, but can get annoying at times, like in that stupid dance segment of “Stick Stickly” and “Interlude.”

I do realize that this band’s music appeals (and is marketed to) adolescents and dance clubs, but this is no excuse. With the terrible screamed vocals, autotuned clean vocals, boring, mindless guitar riffs, equally boring drums, and myspace lyrics, listening to this music probably causes brain damage. It’s like they took everything bad about today’s music and mashed it together. Think about it, we’ve got autotune, breakdowns, moronic song titles, breakdowns, and breakdowns. Well, there’s no rapping in this album, so I guess I can’t say they took everything. Yes, I’m sure there are people out there who dig this music, and I’m sure they like drinking bleach milkshakes, too. My point is, they shouldn’t like this music, but I get its appeal.

This isn’t my cup of tea, as you probably have realized, but I couldn’t find many positives about this album. The songs are pretty short. None of them are over four minutes. In case terrorists abduct you and force you to listen to this, you’ll be able to get through it without chewing your own tongue off, though you’ll be close to doing so. If you’re a fan of good music, please stay far away. If you like this band, and you haven’t had a lobotomy, get one before that part of your brain tells you it’s okay to drink that canister of turpentine in your garage.

Oh, and I shouldn’t have labeled these guys “metalcore.” I think “***core” is more appropriate.



Recent reviews by this author
Last Days of Humanity Putrefaction in ProgressNocturnus The Key
Metallica Death MagneticNickelback Dark Horse
Lykathea Aflame ElvenefrisSepultura Chaos A.D.
user ratings (1201)
Chart.
2.2
poor
other reviews of this album
1 of

Comments:Add a Comment 
Zipzop5565
December 23rd 2009


402 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Not my best review, but I felt like writing this. At least all of the songs are short enough that they're listenable. Hope you guys enjoy the read.

cirq
December 23rd 2009


9264 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

youre in love

Foxhound
December 23rd 2009


4570 Comments


Thank you this shit band needed to be hated on.

TRMshadow
December 23rd 2009


4982 Comments


Though I may sound like a homophobe, the band's vocalist's name alone is freaking hilarious. Caleb Shomo, more like caleb's homo amirite?

Foxhound
December 23rd 2009


4570 Comments


lmao oh yeah!!!

DiceMan
December 23rd 2009


7068 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Uhh... I believe the proper term is "crabcore" duh. /Neg.





JK

Zipzop5565
December 23rd 2009


402 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I'm in love with Keira Knightley

shortone323
December 23rd 2009


883 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Although I generally disagree with the people that rate this 1 and 1.5, the review actually somewhat focused on the music and was pretty well written, so I pos'd.

Also, lines like "Unfortunately, “Stick Stickly” starts with a breakdown" make me think you really shouldn't be reviewing the album.

Zipzop5565
December 23rd 2009


402 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Felt good writing it, though

Titan50
December 23rd 2009


4588 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

“Bro, Ashley’s Here” is misleading, because Ashley isn’t mentioned in this song, so I guess she’s not here after all


hur

Zipzop5565
December 23rd 2009


402 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

you got it

sspedding
December 23rd 2009


4762 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

funny and accurate review but you probably use more adjectives than I have seen in the last 100 reviews. I guess the review would be pretty short otherwise because there's only so much you can talk about how shit this is.

HenchmanOfSanta
December 23rd 2009


1866 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

The best of the hate reviews for this. However, there is something worse than this:

http://www.myspace.com/dotdotcurve

HugCrewLoveRoll
December 23rd 2009


612 Comments


Henchman, where did you find this? MY EARS ARE BLEEPIN BLEEDING!
ARRGGHH Musical torture!

HenchmanOfSanta
December 23rd 2009


1866 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I have a friend (who actually likes Attack Attack!) that has been proclaiming that there are bands worse than BrokeNCYDE. His proof was that band right there. I have never been more angered by anything on the internet.

theacademy
Staff Reviewer
December 23rd 2009


28517 Comments


the music is horrible but all your partents think opeth is the same thing

(my dad thinks opeth = roolage tho)

Zipzop5565
December 23rd 2009


402 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

What the hell is this

theacademy
Staff Reviewer
December 23rd 2009


28517 Comments


these dudes need to add in a few breakdownz

Mags172
December 23rd 2009


127 Comments


One of my friends actually likes this band. I think they are shit.

KieranVandRakim
December 23rd 2009


332 Comments


sux



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2014 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Privacy Policy