Baroness
Blue Record


2.0
poor

Review

by devsol USER (4 Reviews)
October 14th, 2009 | 75 replies


Release Date: 2009 | Tracklist

Review Summary: a metalhead in the deep south fills a condom; Baroness release the Blue Record.

It comes as no surprise that Baroness’ newest release is a mediocre jumble of styles that simply cannot find any solid footing in what is essentially a mess of an album. Ignoring the fact that Baroness contribute to the death of all that is good about sludge, propagate the inherently boring and useless sub-genre of post metal and much like every other similar band cannot manage to produce a single original record from the overbearing stress attained from having their jaws stretched around Neurosis’ almighty cock, the Blue Record is simply a laughable attempt at creating something profound and involving, an attempt which even overshadows the band’s similarly mediocre Red Album.

‘Swollen and Halo’ and ‘Jake Leg’ are but two examples of composition that utterly destroy any semblance of credibility Baroness may have had, and there is certainly no shortage of examples I could refer to when making point of the fact that Baroness no longer have any character. In what comes off as a feeble attempt to please as many people as possible, Baroness offer a dumbed down muddle of tunes amidst second-rate composition. The entire record is coated with what is essentially a layer of dullness – from the guitar tone to Baizley’s headache-inducing vocals, melody and rhythm simply meld into one nauseating mess. The introductory ‘Bullhead’s Psalm’ begins with something of a moving melody, though its descent into a jangly smirk-driven trailer tune sets the tone for the entire album.

Given the distinct ‘southern’ flavours apparent in their sound, it would be logical to assume they would either follow the tread of their sludge counterparts and use it in a ferocious and thus effective manner, but such an assumption of the band does no justice to their burgeoning mediocrity. ‘The Sweetest Curse’ endeavours to conjure a metallic vibe despite its utterly watered down and tedious drone, and takes all but three seconds to fail. Guitar lines accompanying the verses match Baizley’s atrocious vocals, intermediary guitar licks which lead into the following passages are inexcusably bland, and the ‘solo’ midway through is simply embarrassing. The attempt at vocal diversity under the guise of interchanging dual vocal lines does not even come close to having its desired effect, and just exacerbates the distaste one has for Baroness’ so called progression.

Although it has been claimed that the Blue Record is everything Mastodon’s newest Crack the Skye is not, comparing an equally insipid album to Blue Record is not at all to its advantage. Despite the general incompetence of Mastodon in being remotely interesting, that band does not struggle to maintain their own sound, or if you will, a Mastodon ‘brand’. Baroness, on the other hand, do everything in their power to merge as many styles as they can into one, regardless of compatibility or coherence. In this respect, the Blue Record is nothing more than assortment of disjointed and trashy metal riffs interspersed with an almost revoltingly trite southern rock aesthetic. Complementary tracks which are meant to inspire a wistful mood such as ‘Steel That Sleeps the Eye’ are just pitiful, and said track’s continuation into the infinitely stale and corny ‘Swollen and Halo’ is one of the most irritating moments of the album.

Where the band says charm, we have a hackneyed and essentially bullshit record; where the band says style, we have a complete lack of; where the band says composition, we’re left scratching our heads; where the band says music, we say shut the fuck up. There is really no question as to Blue Record’s failure as a piece of music – it does not invoke any sense of awe in relation to its tone, is not much more than a piece of garbage in light of technicality, and the unappealing nature of every tune and hook just digs the band’s grave deeper and deeper. By the time one reaches the end of the album, one will be positioning the final nail on Baroness’ coffin.


user ratings (1166)
Chart.
3.9
excellent
other reviews of this album
bears (4.5)
Human metal...

Paralized (4.5)
The second album by sludge metal act Baroness is truly a praise-worthy attempt at something new and ...

Clewsy (4)
An excellent, flowing, mature record that balances its progressive tendencies with sound song writin...

Eli EMERITUS (4.5)
Stepping out of the shadow of their contemporaries, Baroness create an incredibly well polished and ...


Comments:Add a Comment 
devsol
October 14th 2009


347 Comments


yo check mah banjo

Roach
October 14th 2009


2148 Comments


hey devsol do you not like good music why cant u just appreciate riffs and twiddles

KILL
October 14th 2009


72090 Comments


yaaaaay pos

Digging: Steve Hackett - Out of the Tunnel's Mouth

StreetlightRock
Emeritus
October 14th 2009


3777 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Wicked review. Agree with all yr negative points, but I still like this more.

Mordecai.
October 14th 2009


8282 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Devsol more like i hate everything.


pos.

Willie
Moderator
October 14th 2009


16131 Comments


Very nice. Never even heard of these guys. Apparently they don't slay for days, so it doesn't matter.

Digging: Kenn Nardi - Dancing With the Past

devsol
October 14th 2009


347 Comments


gays for days more like

KILL
October 14th 2009


72090 Comments


wonder when chans guna neg

Photon
October 14th 2009


1292 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5 | Sound Off

have to agree with a few things u said but overall this is still a very good record

taylormemer
October 14th 2009


4944 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Awesums

lobby
October 14th 2009


1251 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

didn't like this overrated bullshit

Transient
October 14th 2009


1461 Comments


haven't listened to this so i can't disagree with you yet

Motiv3
October 14th 2009


8941 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

amazing review, i havent listened all the way through but got bored by the 4th song.

accompliceofmydeath
October 14th 2009


4297 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

I thought that this was pretty good. It could have been my initial excitement though.

Digging: Weekend Nachos - Unforgivable

qwe3
October 14th 2009


21369 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

blows

marksellsuswallets
October 14th 2009


4848 Comments

Album Rating: 4.5

Hey guyz this album actually rules so your opinions are wrong sorry.

qwe3
October 14th 2009


21369 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

your avatar rules so i feel myself being drawn to your side...NO MUST FIGHT THE BEARD

rasputin
October 14th 2009


14555 Comments


i actually have a beard

lower your rating now

qwe3
October 14th 2009


21369 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

pics or gtfo.

oh wait you have trotsky in your av and he has a better beard.

rasputin
October 14th 2009


14555 Comments


i specifically changed my avatar to that picture of trotsky because it's how my facial hair currently is



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