El Grupo Nuevo de Omar Rodriguez-Lopez
Cryptomnesia


1.0
awful

Review

by John weathered old reviewer Hanson STAFF
April 16th, 2009 | 191 replies


Release Date: 2009 | Tracklist

Review Summary: If you think the review is hard to read you should listen to the album.

I don’t know who the hell Omar Rodriguez-Lopez thinks he is but he has to stop all this nonsense/tomfoolery with the releasing of 4 solo albums a year all of which equate to the same bullshit constantly that bullshit being a series of textured farts and guitar bloops and drum smashing and bass bitch-slapping and awful sound sampling and manipulation it’s almost as if Omar wishes to create bad music under a solo moniker so that people still love The Mars Volta but that’s bullshit Omar you are teasing all of us God (praise be His name) fucking damnit ass bitches cunt wipe Omar your new project “El Grupo Nuevo” was supposed to be a fucking turnaround and bridge the gap between your often pointless and self indulgent solo material and the GREATNESS that is The Mars Volta but instead what Cryptomnesia ends up being is a bunch of that same awful conglomeration of prog/acid/jazz/bullshit/psychedelic/post-punk that he has been shitting out on repeat for the past 5 almost 6 years now (and you know that he hasn’t once looked at his fans with kindness in his eyes?) I mean come on this album seriously sounds like what would happen if you took De-Loused in the Comatorium stripped it of any cohesiveness added lots of guitar and bass effects that made shit sounds like farts and stomach gurgles (what the fuck is that bass sound in “Noir” SERIOUSLY) and then put into a Nicer-Dicer and then thrown back together with random thought processes as is apparent in “Elderly Pair Beaten With Hammer” which features not just one annoying guitar solo but two the latter of which bleeds into “Warren Oates” a song which sounds like a rejected version of “Ouroboros” (no but seriously, it’s the best song on the album-check it out) strung out ON CRACK which somehow isn’t as ridiculous as the lyrics on the album which include gems such as “girl you ain’t better than the germs I spread” which despite being my facebook status for the next three months is arguably the most offensively bad lyric I have heard since “My only addiction has to do with the female species I eat 'em raw like sushi” (could Cedric actually be Girardo? must investigate further) but I should digress about the mere words of the album because the true power is in the music like in title track “Cryptomnesia” which kind of sounds like what an acid trip sounds like to someone who has never done acid ever with its smooth but somehow stuttered groove and the repeated use of drum beats which is a problem throughout the record although I suppose its forgivable as it is Zach Hill who probably has no idea what the fuck Omar is trying to do with this conceptually-designed mindfuck of an album but regardless he makes the songs drone on and when a 3-4 minute song seems longer than the 6 minute song before it something naughty is afoot and it isn’t the tasteless use of ‘bad words’ in the song titles I mean really “Paper Cunts” is that supposed to be witty or anti-witty or just silly (perhaps anti-silly?) regardless the album is pure homogeneous shitheap of stream-of-consciousness turgidity nonsense that strives to be different and to take you “somewhere else” but in the end really just ends up being hilariously bad and hilariously derivative of his past work and despite the frequent “so-weird-it’s-almost-cool” moments it still just plain sucks hardcore.

Omar Rodriguez-Lopez, fuck you.



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user ratings (133)
Chart.
3.2
good
other reviews of this album
f k a s l u t (1)
...

EonblueApocalypse84 (3.5)
A joyously dis-functional and disjointed mass of busy musicians playing somewhere near the same head...

Alex Carlson (3.5)
Ruthlessly experimental, Omar Rodriguez-Lopez's new group's Cryptomnesia is as impenetrable as it is...

Taxt (4)
An experiment in tongue-in-cheek absurdity that is, if nothing else, unique....


Comments:Add a Comment 
Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
April 16th 2009


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Iluvatar it's like you almost make a point with this review

poweroftheweez
April 16th 2009


1290 Comments


oh my god.
what?

rasputin
April 16th 2009


14550 Comments


you should avoid long sentences they make your review overly complex

JumpTheF**kUp
April 16th 2009


2710 Comments


awesome

tombits
April 16th 2009


3470 Comments


review of the year?

Tyler
Emeritus
April 16th 2009


7926 Comments


brilliant summary wonder who came up with it

poweroftheweez
April 16th 2009


1290 Comments


haha, i just noticed the recommends.

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
April 16th 2009


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

pretty sure i spent more time writing this review than any other review i have written in years

aka like 40 minutes. berkay you look good in your avatar why arent you on aim

rasputin
April 16th 2009


14550 Comments


it's not me it's a cartoon!

Athom
Staff Reviewer
April 16th 2009


17222 Comments


omigosh.

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
April 16th 2009


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

guys i need constructive criticism so i can improve in the future or else i will be kicked off of staff

Prophet178
April 16th 2009


6397 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Is this a serious review....?

poweroftheweez
April 16th 2009


1290 Comments


more cuss words should do the trick.

Tyler
Emeritus
April 16th 2009


7926 Comments


****

rasputin
April 16th 2009


14550 Comments


Is this a serious review....?

of course sputnikmusic.com is very srs business didn't you get the memo

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
April 16th 2009


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

okay cleaned up that asterisk bullshit

poweroftheweez
April 16th 2009


1290 Comments


ace.

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
April 16th 2009


20857 Comments


Omar = Crazy Frog.

tombits
April 16th 2009


3470 Comments


k so uh this is good?

NortherlyNanook
April 16th 2009


1285 Comments


fuck you chan you table breaking little



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