Moss
Cthonic Rites


4.0
excellent

Review

by rasputin USER (196 Reviews)
November 24th, 2008 | 63 replies | 8,911 views


Release Date: 2005 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Crushing.

7 of 7 thought this review was well written

Moss:
n.
1. a. Any of various green, usually small, nonvascular plants of the class Musci of the division Bryophyta.
b. A patch or covering of such plants.
2. Any of various other unrelated plants having a similar appearance or manner of growth, such as the club moss, Irish moss, and Spanish moss.

That is what Moss is: green, nonvascular plants, that slay for days. Moss is plants with hammers, crushing your face. Moss is me kicking you in the face. Moss is everybody in the world kicking you in the face so you die, then resurrecting you, then kicking you in the face another six billion times. Moss is the moon falling on your face. Moss is like that one time at school when this girl hit this other girl in the face with a bat. Moss is like that one other time at school when that girl punched this other girl in the face and broke her nose. The Big Bang was caused by Moss. This one time, this girl I know was acting up, so I dropped a semi-trailer on her face. Anyone remember the dinosaurs? Pretty sure Cthonic Rites totally fucked up their shit.

Released in 2005, Cthonic Rites is doom heavyweights Moss’ debut. Much like the various metaphors expounded in the previous paragraph, this is one debut album that crushes your face. Huge fucking riffs the size of mountains, stamping around and killing cute animals, like whales. Then the whales fall on your face.

Cthonic Rites is not an album to be taken lightly. Some people will say it sucks; the album dynamics do not really change, and the steady pace of one riff every 10 or so seconds may become dreary for some. In this case, you must be a pussy. The colossal riffing on the album creates a thick and dense atmosphere that is unsurpassed by other doom bands, perhaps only by themselves on their most recent effort, Sub Templum. Their debut, as opposed to the sophomore, has a more unrefined feel to it, and a far sinister atmosphere. Where Sub Templum was almost solely about dramatic face surgery, Cthonic Rites aims to create a rather grim aura that is both enveloping and truly frightening. Olly Pearson’s vocals lends itself to said grim aura; his screeches are scarily good, and I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t shit my pants a few times when listening to this album.

Although being relatively ‘repetitive’, as may be proposed by some, it should be known that one must delve further into the music to find any enjoyment. Turn off the lights, lie down on your bed, and make sure to go number two beforehand. The section midway through opener ‘Crypts of Somnambulance’, where feedback is used to supplement the atmosphere, is ridiculously well thought out; the suspense and tension is at such a level, one can’t help but twitch his eyes nervously and chew at the stumps that were once finger tips.

Not much more needs to be said about Cthonic Rites. It is crushing, it is devastating; it is destructive, it is demoralizing. You will be crushed. I will leave you with a definition, to ponder your current situation.

Crushing:
Death by crushing or pressing, as a method of execution, has a long history, and the techniques to achieve this end varied greatly from place to place. This form of execution is no longer sanctioned by any governing body. A common method of death by crushing was through the use of elephants throughout South and South-East Asia for over 4,000 years of recorded history, and perhaps before that. The Romans and Carthaginians also used this method on occasion. See crushing by elephant.



Recent reviews by this author
Hoax HoaxHakaristi Hakaristi
Burial Invocation Rituals of the GrotesqueEibon Entering Darkness
Abe Sada / Sub Ordnance Redux / Organ GrinderIron Lung/Mind Eraser/HS/Scapegoat Brutal Supremacy
user ratings (12)
Chart.
3.5
great

Comments:Add a Comment 
rasputin
November 24th 2008



14538 Comments


Definitions taken from:
http://www.answers.com/topic/moss
http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/Crushing

I wrote this when I was feeling good man. Album rules.

SnackaryBinx
November 24th 2008



2309 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

i was told starting a review with a definition was the worst thing you could possibly do. just sayin'

rasputin
November 24th 2008



14538 Comments


did you even read it

SnackaryBinx
November 24th 2008



2309 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I decided to read after, like a true american. And so it works. Fuck you. Go slay for days or sometin'

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
November 24th 2008



20856 Comments


Good to hear you are feeling good, you reviewing machine you.

Epilogue
November 24th 2008



1590 Comments


I want this to crush my face.

In this case, you must be a pussy.

+1

BallsToTheWall
November 24th 2008



44164 Comments


I completely disagree with SnackaryBinx's logic. Intro is alone worth posing. I fucking love Moss. Nice work.

SnackaryBinx
November 24th 2008



2309 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

well I disagree with the Panthers balls. so take that.

willfellmarsy
November 24th 2008



3849 Comments


Extremely enjoyable read, the best i've ever read of yours...could use a bit more detail because all i really know going in is that my face will be crushed and at points it was scary...still, as a read it was super duper

BallsToTheWall
November 24th 2008



44164 Comments


Bring it on bitch.

SnackaryBinx
November 24th 2008



2309 Comments

Album Rating: 4.0

I can't, I'm a chargers fan.

Epilogue
November 24th 2008



1590 Comments


go Lions

rasputin
November 24th 2008



14538 Comments


I'm pointing this out now, you're not talking about sports in my review.

charlesfishowitz
November 24th 2008



1794 Comments


i approve of this

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
November 24th 2008



16299 Comments

Album Rating: 3.5

I really liked this review, good work. This album sounds pretty damn good, especially "The Gate", since I love really insanely long tracks like that. I'll check this out.

Digging: Ulver - Bergtatt

any14doomsday
November 24th 2008



679 Comments


Some might think your exaggerating about how much face this shit crushes... but your not this rules!

joshuatree
Emeritus
November 24th 2008



3743 Comments


good album, good review

taylormemer
November 24th 2008



4916 Comments


God you guys are so dreary. This review is the definition of hilarity! CRUSH MY FACE PUNCE-HEAD!

SKUDstorm
November 24th 2008



136 Comments


I lol'd pretty fuckin hard at this.

Good review, but I don't really listen to doom so I can't exactly say anything about the music.This Message Edited On 11.24.08

AngelPhoenix
November 24th 2008



2764 Comments


this isn't so much doom as it is railway box cars falling from the sky...



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2014 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Privacy Policy