Metro Station
Metro Station


1.5
very poor

Review

by David James Young USER (181 Reviews)
September 6th, 2008 | 130 replies


Release Date: 2007 | Tracklist

Review Summary: This is what nineteen years of Achy Breaky Heart will do to you.

“Let’s hunt and kill Billy Ray Cyrus!”, called the legendary comic Bill Hicks in his masterpiece. Rant in E Minor. A fantastic idea, Bill, but why stop there? Perhaps if the plan had been executed on one Leticia Finlay Cyrus as well, before 1992, we would have never had the misfortune of experiencing his daughter Miley (aka Hannah Montana). To go even further, it would have been logical to take the same plan to action before 1989. If you’re wondering why, all the evidence is right here.

His name is Trace Cyrus. He’s tall, goofy-looking and has an irritating voice. Before you say “chip off the old block”, however, things get worse. He doesn’t make drawling country pop like his dear-old stepdaddy, nor does he make corporate preteen bubblegum like his sweet little half-sister. No, this Cyrus has an infatuation with hipster electropop mixed in with eighties guitar tones and whiney lyrics about girls. Where the hell it came from is anyone’s guess, and it’s even commendable that he is to branch out from the musical family tree. However, after listening to Trace’s band, Metro Station, as well as the subsequent eponymous album, chances are you’ll be wishing he would go right back.

The main issue to be had with Metro Station overall is that it has the distinct tendency to feel more like a product than an actual work of art. The subject matter is all partying (“I was taken, but you were waiting/One more drink and I’m convinced”), girls (“If she does it like this, will you do it like that?/Come on, shake it!”) and how cool being young is (“We’re not gonna be seventeen forever!”). Whilst timeless subject matters of their own accord, everything that is sung about on the album sounds like it is meant for teens right now in this day and age; most likely a clever ploy on behalf of the songwriters themselves. Also, the incessant use of “whoa”s rivals even the Kaiser Chiefs.

Originality is another key flaw of the album- next to nothing about the band’s sound is unique or distinctive. As vocalists, Cyrus and guitarist Mason Musso are very hard to tell apart- it may even take a YouTube video or two to determine who is actually singing. Both go for unbelievable over-accentuation and heavy sighing, coming off as some Satanic spawn of Say Anything’s Max Bemis and Forever the Sickest Kids’ Jonathan Cook. They have the hooks business down pat, undoubtedly- “Shake It”, the best song on the record, will remain in your head whether you want it there or not- but it usually feels uninspired and forced on their behalf. As for their guitar work, it quite literally never goes beyond a few chords and is hardly even worth the sentence of this review that it gets.

The rhythm section of the band may as well not exist. If Anthony Improgo plays any acoustic drums, as the album credits suggests, then it’s certainly news to the listener. It’s all FL loops and crackles of electronic snare throughout- which would be fine if the band used a drum machine and had not employed an actual drummer. Blake Healy leaves his bass guitar collecting dust for practically the entire affair, manning the all-important synthesizers. Apart from a handful of charming arpeggios and some song-defining patterns (see “Control” in particular), the general consensus is that not a thing can be done to conceal the fact that there is precious little substance to compete with Metro Station’s style.

Whilst fine for party background music (even with a couple of really catchy songs), Metro Station ultimately fails to show any existential or long-lasting worth or quality. They are left with two choices- improve where necessary and adapt further skill to their instruments, or continue with their current formula and perish. There is every chance of the former happening. Having said that, given this family history? It’s going to be the latter. Just you wait and see.



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user ratings (282)
Chart.
1.7
very poor
other reviews of this album
Joel Barish (1)
i took this review as serious as the band took this album...


Comments:Add a Comment 
AtavanHalen
September 6th 2008


17927 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Could someone please upload this album art?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/02/Metrostationalbum.jpg/200px-Metrostationalbum.jpg
kthx

EDIT: Nevermind, did it myself.This Message Edited On 09.06.08

bastard
September 6th 2008


3435 Comments


you are one brave little soldier for reviewing this, nice job.

taylormemer
September 6th 2008


4917 Comments


Brave... ha!

Jim
September 6th 2008


5110 Comments


shake it sucks. i mean really sucks
it just reminds me of that godawful fucking annoying woman from so you think you can dance

AtavanHalen
September 6th 2008


17927 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Which leads to the question of why the hell you would watch So You Think You Can Dance to begin with.

StreetlightRock
Emeritus
September 6th 2008


3768 Comments


Because it's f'ucking awesome. This however...

Digging: Interpol - El Pintor

Jim
September 6th 2008


5110 Comments


yeah my girlfriend loves it

rasputin
September 6th 2008


14545 Comments


it just reminds me of that godawful ****ing annoying woman from so you think you can dance

Are you talking about the fucking bitch judge that screams stupid shit like 'YOU GO GIRL' and 'WHOOAOOAOAOAOAOA' all the time? Man do I fucking hate that woman. Everytime she speaks I want to kick her in the fucking face.

AtavanHalen
September 6th 2008


17927 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Hahaha, settle down dude.

rasputin
September 6th 2008


14545 Comments


No seriously man, she incites such a rage inside of me. I've never hated a single individual so much before.

JumpTheF**kUp
September 6th 2008


2710 Comments


so you think you can dance? rules

timbo8
September 6th 2008


618 Comments


Great review! I hate "Shake It" and I couldn't imagine the album as a whole straying too far from what makes that song awful. "Shake It" seems like it took 2 minutes to write.

StreetlightRock
Emeritus
September 6th 2008


3768 Comments


Totally - I was on the bus into uni and it came on and I swear I felt somewhat depressed at the state of music for a while. It just shat me so much, the singer just repeatedly going 'shake it shake it shake it', I'm sitting there thinking, oh surely theres more to this song that that... There isn't. Nothing. pure and utter s'hite.

AtavanHalen
September 6th 2008


17927 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

So much anger in this thread, I love it.

BallsToTheWall
September 6th 2008


44410 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Props on reviewing this halen, terrible, terrible album. Shake it honestly makes me want to kill myself. That tall, lanky fuck should be stomped.

Digging: She Past Away - Belirdi Gece

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
September 6th 2008


20857 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

There is a lot of anger in this thread. Who said that metal was the best genre of music to bring out anger!?!?!?
Reviewing this = trooper.
Dave, as soon as you said 'Shake It' was the best song on the album, that was all we really needed to know.

AtavanHalen
September 6th 2008


17927 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Champ, I know you love Billy Ray Cyrus. Don't lie to me.

DaveyBoy
Staff Reviewer
September 6th 2008


20857 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

Oh Dave, "don't break my heart, my achy breaky heart."
Actually, in a related note, when I was doing my The Academy Is... review and found out that one of the members of Metro Station sang backing vocals on one of the better songs on Fast Times At Barrington High, it genuinely disappointed me. Surely they could have landed someone better to do backing vocals... Bono or someone like that.

AtavanHalen
September 6th 2008


17927 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I found out Justin Pierre of MCS produced this. I nearly cried.

Athom
Staff Reviewer
September 6th 2008


17213 Comments


im just gonna pretend i didnt read that.


Digging: Inigo Kennedy - Vaudeville



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