Review Summary: I am a skeleton alive undead.
Imagine a dark, dingy room. A single bulb hangs on a cord from the ceiling, exuding a very dim light, swaying on the spot, even though no wind is blowing. A rusty cage sits in the corner, its door hanging open, dripping blood. More blood stains the walls, and a single window on the wall is boarded up, letting no other light in. Doomthrone’s Skeleton Veiled in Flesh
will conjure up such images in your head; not, as you might think, because of its dark and foreboding nature, but because it’s the sort of place you would want to lock up the idiots who made this ridiculously bad EP.
To begin with, we’ll introduce Doomthrone’s vocalist. We will call him ‘Skeleton’, named after his terrible lyrics. For the entirety of Skeleton Veiled in Flesh
, Skeleton mumbles his way around, consistently sounding ridiculous, and overall sounding like he not only has some terrible throat condition, but also a variety of objects stuck in his throat. Sometimes he’ll push himself to the point where he sounds like a constipated frog. One also can’t fail to mention that his vocal delivery is completely out of sync with the ‘music’. If you’ve ever heard Lurker of Chalice, think of Wrest’s vocals; this is worse.
Accompanying Skeleton is the music, if you want to call it that. The production basically renders any definition of ‘riff’ as a ‘hum’, or ‘murk’. That’s possibly the single achievement of Doomthrone, for creating the conditions in which one can replace the word ‘riff’ with ‘murk’. It takes a superhuman ear to distinguish between the different ‘murks’, assuming they aren’t all the same anyway. Oh, and it seems that Doomthrone have chosen not to incorporate any form of melody, choosing instead to play a relentlessly frustrating drone of a murk for the album’s entirety. Following along with the theme of ‘murk’, Skeleton moans some of the stupidest lyrics I’ve ever come across. ‘I am a skeleton, alive undead’? I won’t even make a separate paragraph.
Frankly, Skeleton Veiled in Flesh
is the worst album I have ever heard, bar none. Yes of course there are several others that come close, but Doomthrone opens up a whole new level of ‘fu
t’ in terms of music. Ignoring the fact that no-one in their right mind would support this band, I’m somewhat relieved that they consider themselves ‘kvlt’, limiting the release of Skeleton Veiled in Flesh
to the oh-so-unpredictable number of 666. In other words, no more than 666 individuals can say they gave their money to Doomthrone, which in my opinion is 666 too many.