Dr. Acula
S.L.O.B.


1.5
very poor

Review

by David Witten USER (12 Reviews)
February 13th, 2008 | 61 replies


Release Date: 2007 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Imagine if See You Next Tuesday and HeavyHeavyLowLow joined forces, then they decided to make the worst album ever. This is worse than that.

I am a huge horror movie buff. From the classics, to 80s slashes, to current day psychological thrillers; I like them all. I watch a lot of horror movies and enjoy most of them. As always, some of them are terrible. Some of them are so terrible, they are good. Films like, say, The Grudge 2. The Grudge 2 is my favorite horror movie ever. I saw it with friends and I was the only one who left happy. I didn’t enjoy it because it was scary, because it wasn’t. I didn’t enjoy it because it was captivating, because it wasn’t. And I certainly didn’t enjoy it because it was coherent, because it wasn’t anything even close to coherent. I enjoyed it because it was so bad. That leads me to Dr.Acula.

Dr.Acula is a Grindcore / Death Metal / Hardcore band, according to their myspace. They hail from Long Island, New York and are currently unsigned. There is a reason for that. Musically speaking, S.L.O.B. may be the worst album I have listened to in my entire life. The guitars are generic, the drums are simple, and the bass might as well not be there. The song titles are all taken from Goosebumps, and that just shouts “Respect us!”. The synths in this album are a selling point, but they sound like they were made on Fruity Loops, as they probably were. The vocals must be a joke. If not, they are literally the worst vocals I have ever heard. The death growls aren't brutal at all, the screams are grating, the "singing" is comical, and the pig squeals are... well, pig squeals.

My favorite song on this album, if you can call it that, is called “Shocker on Shock Street”. Coincidentally, that is my favorite Goosebumps book. The song starts with some fantastic lyrics… “*** you!! *** you!!” in an annoying, high-pitched yelp, followed by pig squeals. The drums on this song aren’t particularly special, as they are just double-kicks and some ride and splash symbols, with some snare thrown in for blast beats. The guitars are just recycled versions of riffs from previously in the album. The song fades out unexpectedly at the end. This ending is awkward, clunky, and ridiculous.

The other song on this album that I enjoy is Let’s Get Invisible. In this song, the vocalist must have been kidding. The singing is ridiculous and most of the lyrics are just gibberish.
“Let's get (moan, moan) invisible
the truth is we both have skeletons in our closets but your bones belong in a museum
you are an exhibit exhibit exhibit ahhedf23r423renfwenjfjqwnd
let's get (moan, moan) invisible fuwfuwufuwfuuuwwwww
let's get ***ED !”
The bass on this song is noticeable, which is nice. The guitars fit in well enough and the drums aren’t terrible. The vocals, though, take everything that was remotely good about this song and erase them completely.

The pros? Well, this album is great for a laugh. Sure, the vocals are garbage, the instruments have been done millions of times before, very rarely worse, and the synths are distracting; however, if you can appreciate the humor and over-the-topness of the music, you may even find this album relatively enjoyable. Kids at my high school love this album. Of course, that just proves them all as morons. This album is pure scene grindcore at it’s very worse, but at least its funny.

Pros…
Songs are named after Goosebumps books
The band name is a reference to Scrubs
It’s hilarious

Cons…
Terrible Vocals
Generic Instruments
Low-quality synths
They actually think they are good

Musically, this is an easy 1. For humor, it's a 1.5



Recent reviews by this author
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user ratings (101)
Chart.
2.1
poor

Comments:Add a Comment 
beans
February 14th 2008


2332 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

this is the most ridiculous band ever...lets get invisible is just

...ridiculous...

Pebster49
February 14th 2008


2992 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

LOL, Goosebumps books are awesome...now I have to see this

Pebster49
February 14th 2008


2992 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

OMG THIS IS SOO BAD, LOL...what is that uahdauhuhduhduh....lol LETS GET INVISABLE. The guy has good growls, but his clean/scream vocals are sooo bad. omg pig squels...I see a 5! comeing from a scene kid.

DaveBum69
February 14th 2008


699 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

see you next tuesday and heavy heavy low low already suck so i don't even wanna hear this

DaveBum69
February 14th 2008


699 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

just listened to Shocker on Shock Street, it sound like something anal cunt would come up with

DWittisarockstar
February 14th 2008


1501 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

I enjoy both SYNT and HHLL, but I knew a lot of people don't so I used them as reference. Plus, I forgot about Waking The Cadaver when I wrote this. It's really surprising how none of this review is actually hyperbole. It's all true.

Pebster49
February 14th 2008


2992 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

This saddly is worse than Waking the cadaver...amazing...

Mirror.Circuit
February 14th 2008


223 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

My friend likes this band.
I'm stuck listening to it in her car.
I DO throughly enjoy telling her she listens to really shitty music,though.

HighandDriving
February 14th 2008


3288 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Imma give this a listen just cause I was a goosebumps extra in one episode, you know that one with the blonde b itch and the mask.

metallicaman8
February 14th 2008


4677 Comments


I find this bands name amusing.

botb
February 14th 2008


9689 Comments


this band is hilarious. you can't take them seriously while you listen or you will hate them.

DWittisarockstar
February 14th 2008


1501 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

This rules, despite the 1.5 rating and the negative review. It's hilarious. Everyone I have introduced this to has hated it. I'm sure if I found the scene hxc kids in my school and introduced them to this, I would be a hero.

Electric City
Staff Reviewer
February 14th 2008


15740 Comments


This reminds me of Scrubs lulz.

Digging: Ricky Eat Acid - Three Love Songs

MrKite
February 14th 2008


5020 Comments


I wonder if they stole their name from that Mitch Hedberg joke.

guitarplaya91
February 14th 2008


485 Comments


Yeah. being a long island resident I've had the tragedy of seeing Dr. Acula on multiple occasions. A few years back they were a decent "fun" band. That was until they kicked out the main vocalist. S.L.O.B. is complete s***. I saw them in December, they got a new synth player that didn't know what to do so he hit every key imaginable. This Message Edited On 02.14.08

beans
February 14th 2008


2332 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

yup this band is ridiculous, but funny

Crimson
February 14th 2008


1935 Comments


lmao at the titles, is it bad that I've read 5? :lol:

DWittisarockstar
February 14th 2008


1501 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5 | Sound Off

I've read all of them.

beans
February 14th 2008


2332 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

yeah ive read all of them
goosebumbs= the shit

NortherlyNanook
February 14th 2008


1285 Comments


Please, just please fix that grammar error in the summary. That turned me off from the beginning.



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