Chiodos
The Heartless Control Everything


1.5
very poor

Review

by John weathered old reviewer Hanson STAFF
January 10th, 2008 | 15 replies


Release Date: 2003 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Hey look My Chemical Romance.

Honestly, I can listen to a few new Chiodos songs. They have something good going on now, if Craig Owens could ever learn how to actually sing. However, years and years ago when they were still known as “The Chiodos Bros”, there was none of that. Instead, Chiodos were a really bad version of Early/Mid My Chemical Romance with some silly electronics thrown in occasionally for fun. Craig sounded like a lame version of Gerard Way (while showing an occasional bit of what he would later sound like), and the band was so generic I wonder how they ever kept their fans. Their third EP and first on an actual label was The Heartless Control Everything.

Sure, they occasionally have a weird HORSE the band-esque breakdown that is sort of cool (like near the end of “Ravishing Matt Ruth”), but for the most part the music is relegated to bad pop punk with some metal and -core flourishes. The production is fairly solid for being so cheaply made, and helps the guitarists tone come through clear. Its too bad they play the same boring riffs and breakdowns over and over to ruin what could have been a solid thing.

Then again, the guitarists could have been shredding as hard as Thomas Erak here and it wouldn’t have mattered, as we have an early career Craig Owens here. It’s some of the most nasally 13-year-old singing you’ll ever hear, and when Craig uses horrible layering effects on “Vacation to Hell” (the inspiring song titles were around this early, yes) its cringe worthy. While it actually might be slightly more tolerable to some then his later antics are (he goes for a lot less, and thus doesn’t have as much range of being terrible yet), it’s still a giant turnoff for anyone who isn’t a 16 year old scene girl.

The album tries to stay interesting by throwing on a keyboard here, a synth there, and gang vocals here, but its ultimate downfall is the fact that past intros and endings, the songs all sound the same. There is the same boring riff combination, the same drum fills, the same distorted layering of Craig’s singing, and the same stupid production tricks. Its something to look out for if you are a fan of Chiodos, but if you aren’t and are thinking maybe (in the vein of the Used) they used to have something really nice going on, just listen to Thirty Years War or something.



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user ratings (143)
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other reviews of this album
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Comments:Add a Comment 
Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
January 10th 2008


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

wrote this because i wanted to write a bad review to get back into reviewing.
Also didn't know this already had one.

i am the robots
January 10th 2008


1027 Comments


Chiodos' demo stuff is so sick, wtf fuck you!

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
January 10th 2008


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

"Lindsay Quit Lollygagging" off their other two EP's is actually pretty good though seriously.

Doppelganger
January 10th 2008


3124 Comments


not as good as aiden

brandtweathers
January 10th 2008


2007 Comments


they've had solid stuff. this review is funny regardless

Wildhoodlum
January 11th 2008


45 Comments


obviously this review is too short


now let's get that robot retard and some other idiot in here to argue about it

iamrockzorz
January 11th 2008


1029 Comments


Lmao what? there isn't much to say about this album.

HighandDriving
January 11th 2008


3288 Comments


^^^ Bad that's about it.

Chiodos is pretty lame.

MediocreAtBest
January 12th 2008


1473 Comments


I heard a few songs off this on Purevolume and tbh I like some of their stuff but this record is just too horrible.

Hey chickenfish who is that in your avatar?

spoon_of_grimbo
January 14th 2008


2241 Comments


the vocalist completely spoils any chance there ever was of me liking this band. seriously, the instrumental parts are often pretty cool, but his fucking squawking puts me right off!

botb
January 14th 2008


9778 Comments


I can't stand this band.

atrink2
October 29th 2008


17 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

the new stuff isn't that bad. this on the otherhand is just about the worst CD i've heard in a while

atrink
Contributing Reviewer
August 10th 2009


2845 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

^hey it atrink2. i remember those days

Hospital
November 25th 2011


2065 Comments


thoroughly enjoyed everything you guys hated.

DreamAgain
April 8th 2014


280 Comments

Album Rating: 5.0

But this is their best work.. or at least best with Owens



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