Soulja Boy
Souljaboytellem.com


1.0
awful

Review

by James Kukucka USER (4 Reviews)
December 5th, 2007 | 45 replies | 14,949 views


Release Date: 2007 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Souja Boy creates the worst album of the new millennium. This 50 minute pile of garbage shall go down in musical infamy.

10 of 10 thought this review was well written


Every year it seems as though there is always one song at high school dances that causes the average wall flower to break out into spontaneous dance. Whether it was Lil’ John’s infectious “Get Low,” or Fat Joe’s simple, yet strangely addicting, “Lean Back,” there was always that one prominent single…

Unfortunately for 2007 that single is Soulja Boy’s “Crank That,” a track that can only be defined as a "ghetto square dance record" the lyrics of which amount to nothing more than instructions for performing a ridiculous dance which rivals that of the “Cotton Eyed Joe.” The production of this track is absolutely horrendous, sounding as though it was recorded on a laptop microphone in a teenager’s bedroom while procrastinating. Bearing all this in mind, it is safe to say that “Crank That” is one of the worst one-hit-wonder’s in music history, surpassing even the Baha Men’s 2000 hit “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

And that, loyal readers, is only one of one of fourteen musical abominations on Soulja Boy’s new album, Tell ‘Em.

What follows the first single is a series of songs which seem to have certain sections of “Crank That,” sampled over and over again. These samples serve as the backing beats to opuses of lyrical failure. In fact, it is incredibly hard to take anything said on this album seriously due to the obvious lack of effort and production set forth by Soulja Boy. For example, the song “Sidekick,” consists of random ramblings by Soulja Boy that pay homage to his beloved electronic device, his T-Mobile Sidekick. The resultant lyrics contain the following….

“Man I Can't Believe That I'm Rappin 'bout a Phone
But What U Won't Believe Is I Wrote This Song....

It is my hope that anyone reading this realizes that any song that questions why it is written should not have been written in the first place.

In addition to incredibly asinine lyrics, the song titles are basic descriptions of what the respective song is about. For example, “Pass it to Arab,” is simple the aforementioned song title repeated over and over again. Don’t get me wrong, repetition can be extremely effective and catchy in music, however, for Soulja Boy, the recycling of samples and repetition of nonsensical lyrics creates an album which progresses nowhere and leaves the listener asking, “Why?”

In conclusion, Soulja Boy may have written the worst album of the new millennium, but he has done more than that. He has taught a ridiculous dance to the masses, sold hundreds of thousands of records to naïve teenyboppers, and has even made this reviewer sit through his flagrant display of musical ineptness. For this, I give him the utmost respect and credit; he is, in essence living the American dream. However, this reviewer would rather “crank” some Tupac in the stereo instead.


user ratings (665)
Chart.
1.2
awful
other reviews of this album
scyther (3)
Ayyyy Soulja Boy Chillin Dog I Just Got My Report Card Looked At It All F's Took It To Tha Teacher D...

MoneyBallaz (1)
I can't believe anyone has actually purchased this CD....

Tyler Munro EMERITUS (1)
Soulja Boy takes rap to new lows with this 49 minute suckfest....


Comments:Add a Comment 
Lunarfall
December 5th 2007



3179 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I never thought an album could be as bad as an ICP album. This guy just proved there can be worse.

This album is the definition of utter garbage. He even produced this album in less than 6 minutes. What does that say on the amount of work he put into this?

cometuesday
December 5th 2007



959 Comments


Is this quite possibly the lowest ranked album on Sputnik?

VicariousIntent
December 5th 2007



1593 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Goddamn I hate this man so much.

DWittisarockstar
December 5th 2007



1501 Comments


Criss-cross, applesauce, and SUPERMAN DAT HO!

God I hate that song.

MrKite
December 5th 2007



5020 Comments


lawl @ bathin' apes

rasputin
December 5th 2007



14538 Comments


I wonder what sort of drugs the 4 people who gave this 5 are on. Or if they're just dumbarses. The latter is more viable.

BallsToTheWall
December 5th 2007



44164 Comments


Funny thing, I have never knowingly heard that superman song or whatnot or anything from this kid in general. I think I owe it to myself to watch this on you tube.

Crysis
Staff Reviewer
December 5th 2007



16299 Comments


This is quite possibly the worst album of all time. I hear this on the radio and it makes me want to shoot myself. America is going down the tubes, my friends.

Digging: Ulver - Bergtatt

rasputin
December 5th 2007



14538 Comments


To see if the album is as bad as the song? I haven't listened to the album, but the song Crank That was one of the worst experiences of my life. I don't normally like the whole trendy hip-hop scene, but Soulja Boy takes it to a completely new level of hate.

rasputin
December 5th 2007



14538 Comments


I didn't listen to the album, I was merely making a suggestion. I don't know why whoever you're talking about listened to the album. And yes, I do believe this song is that bad.

Spectrum
December 5th 2007



347 Comments


Is this quite possibly the lowest ranked album on Sputnik?

No, Prussian Blue's Fragment of the Future has a glorious 1.1This Message Edited On 12.05.07

cometuesday
December 5th 2007



959 Comments


Wowzer.

Zmev
December 5th 2007



983 Comments


America is going down the tubes, my friends.


Scathing social commentary by Crysis

Bfhurricane
December 5th 2007



6197 Comments


I kind of find Crank That to be pretty catchy, I can listen to it in a social environment. Im luling at the comments

Tyler
Emeritus
December 5th 2007



7926 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Crank That is okay, but it's played out and entered Macarena territory. I reviewed it because it had to be done, I dont know why you'd knowingly put yourself through this. And honestly, when I did it, I did not expect it to be this terrible.

jrowa001
December 5th 2007



8750 Comments


Soulja Boy justs adds to my reasons of giving up on the radio

Tyler
Emeritus
December 5th 2007



7926 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Radio didn't push Soulja Boy. His marketing was all viral and done online. It got to the point where radio would've been stupid not to pick it up.

SynGates
December 5th 2007



2467 Comments


I havent listened to the radio in years

plane
Staff Reviewer
December 5th 2007



6092 Comments


i just knew it would be the black people* that would take down america!

*black people on the radioThis Message Edited On 12.05.07

jrowa001
December 5th 2007



8750 Comments


i do sometimes because my girlfriend listens to it (but she isnt a radio junky like some people). every once in a while ill hear a couple good songs. on this one rap station, i called in to request some songs. all were rejected (Blackalicious, El-P, and Deltron 3030). i was really surprised



You have to be logged in to post a comment. Login | Create a Profile





FAQ // STAFF & CONTRIBUTORS // SITE FORUM // CONTACT US

Bands: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z


Site Copyright 2005-2014 Sputnikmusic.com
All Album Reviews Displayed With Permission of Authors | Privacy Policy