Metallica
St. Anger


1.5
very poor

Review

by Pedro B. USER (303 Reviews)
November 23rd, 2007 | 42 replies | 6,183 views


Release Date: 2003 | Tracklist

Review Summary: CAUTION: Do Not Enter. Biohazard.

36 of 36 thought this review was well written

The Scientific Method as used on St.Anger

Experiment Components: 1 Heavy Metal band*
1 multimillion-dollar producer
Several wads of cash
1 personality crisis
Several «return-to-our-roots»-type announcements
1 musically shaky decade
Several rehab sessions
Several liters of alcohol
A very small amount of Inspiration
Several internal conflicts
1 missing bass player
1 minimal production
1 bruised credibility
A few modern metal influences
1 marked increase in heaviness

*The above component is a cluster consisting of four components: bass,vocals, guitar, drums

Hypothesis: The following experiment aimed to prove that all of its components mixed together would produce a positive, well-rounded, fulfilling final product.

Method: All of the components were mixed together in one round plastic surface. The results were checked twice before conclusions were drawn.

Observation: Observation has showed that the rehab, alcohol, personality crisis, inner conflict and excessive cash elements have had a pronounced corroding effect on the Inspiration component. In addition, the rehab element exerted noticeable corroding action upon the vocals part of the Band cluster.

The missing bassist component had a marked evanescing effect upon the bass part of the Band cluster.

The shaky musical decade and «return to roots» components had a further bruising effect on the credibility element.

The multimillionaire producer and minimal production components caused a marked reduction in the quality of the finished product. These components had a particularly noticeable effect on the drums part of the Band cluster.

The small amount of Inspiration present had a reducing and simplifying effect on the guitar part of the Band cluster. Evolution is non-present in this element of the cluster.

The modern influences component further contributed for the decreased quality of the finished product.

It has also been noted that the decrease in quality and inspiration was more pronounced on some parts of the finished product (Purify. All Within My Hands, Shoot Me Again) than on others (Frantic, St. Anger, The Unnamed Feeling). However, even in such cases where the reduction is less pronounced, the waning effect on the guitar component is still noticeable to a great extent.

The waning in the vocal component is particularly evident on the Sweet Amber part of the finished product, particularly in the chorus portion of said component.

The increase in heaviness has been considered the only positive component of this study, although it is subject to a highly corrosive effect when put in contect with all other components.

Conclusions: The experiment has showed that the mixing of all the components could not be regarded as a satisfactory final product. The experiment cannot therefore be Q.E.D’d.

Recommendation: The components work well together on occasion, as proven by the Frantic and St.Anger parts of the compound, but should not be employed in any considerable time-span. The longer these components are in contact with each other, the worst the results will get. Please DO NOT repeat attempted experiment.

For the Metallica Institute for Musical Perfecting,

The supervising scientist,

ReturnToRock, Ph.D.

(Masters Degree in Headbanging from the International School of Rock)



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user ratings (4457)
Chart.
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Comments:Add a Comment 
ReturnToRock
November 23rd 2007



3448 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

another re-do of an old, deleted review.

since it had been done by so many people before, and they all shared the same opinion, i had to come up with an inventive way to do this. hope you like it.

Invicta_Veritas
November 23rd 2007



20 Comments


That's fuckin awesome.

rasputin
November 23rd 2007



14516 Comments


nicely done. This makes up for your other pointless reviews. I enjoyed reading it.

Confessed2005
November 23rd 2007



3314 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Not bad.

ohcleverhansyou
November 23rd 2007



885 Comments


This is how all reviews should be conducted. Just kidding, but really.

StreetlightRock
Emeritus
November 23rd 2007



3760 Comments


haha, awesome.

Digging: Towers - Bel Air Highrise Plantation

Meatplow
November 23rd 2007



5524 Comments


:lol:

Nice concept

FR33L0RD
November 23rd 2007



1461 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

Cool review, my pos vote



TimeToTurnTheTide
November 23rd 2007



208 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

i come on this website to escape from the tedium of writing my science based degree work.

this is the most depressing thing i could find. but its certainly more entertaining that most of the shit i read in journals. Well done.

n.b. you spelt recommendation wrong and bolded it!! big error

Altmer
November 23rd 2007



5652 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Nice one.

joshuatree
Emeritus
November 23rd 2007



3743 Comments


Hey, you wrote a review that wasn't boring.
I'm JK, but good review.

ReturnToRock
November 23rd 2007



3448 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

at TTTTT: thanks. error corrected.

at JoshuaTree: i'm not the only reviewer on this site. go read someone else's reviews if you don't like mine ;)

Willie
Moderator
November 23rd 2007



15876 Comments

Album Rating: 2.9

Nice review, love the format... This Message Edited On 11.23.07

Digging: Emperor - In The Nightside Eclipse - 20th Year Anniversary

Electric City
Staff Reviewer
November 23rd 2007



15727 Comments


Just fix the paragraphing and it's all good.

Digging: A Sunny Day In Glasgow - Sea When Absent

ReturnToRock
November 23rd 2007



3448 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

hey Electric, i forgot to thank you for giving me the inspiration to do a different review than usual!

thanks for the criticism on that MCR review dude ;)

Serpento
November 23rd 2007



2351 Comments


^It's getting really old.

Creativity reigns supreme, though.

Wizard
November 23rd 2007



19208 Comments

Album Rating: 1.0

I nearly died of laughter when I read this. It also brought me back to the good old days of high school chemistry!

Digging: Monarch - Sabbracadaver

botb
November 23rd 2007



9523 Comments


such an epic review.

MoonlightBleeding
November 23rd 2007



452 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Wow, amazing review dude.

Geedrummer
November 23rd 2007



607 Comments


amazing review. now im off to the pub



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