Review Summary: 40 minutes of a crazed neo-nazi, church burning murderer playing a toy piano. It's only half as funny as it sounds.
If there was every any debate over Varg Vikernes' sanity, this is the album that could make or break the argument. If you don't know the story behind the man we've come to know as Burzum, well, I'm not about to explain it; you'll find the story plastered all over the internet. In short, Varg burns a couple churches, stabs a guy to death and ends up in prison. His incarceration resulted in two things, three if you want to get technical.
First and foremost, it resulted in a series of essays written by the man ludicrously known as Count Grishnackh, and second, it resulted in two albums, the first of which being Daudi Baldrs
. While the final Burzum album, Hlidskjalf
, was definitely not that bad, it only partially made up for the mess that was Daudi Baldrs
Pretty much everything about this album is terrible. The easiest way for me to summarize it would be to ask if you've ever seen the movie Freddy Got Fingered
. Whether you've seen it or not isn't even really that important, as the scene I'm referencing that was actually in the trailer. The scene I'm talking about has Tom Green, Gordon in the film, sitting and playing an organ of sorts. But it was no ordinary organ; it was made entirely out of sausages.
is the "black metal" equivalent of this scene, and I say "black metal" because this album is a lame attempt at neo-classical ambiance, and it's played entirely on what sounds like a toy piano. As I mentioned earlier, this album is more or less atrocious all around. The cover art is totally ridiculous, and when it comes to the music, well, I haven't laughed this hard in a while. It doesn't start off entirely bad, though. The title track gets things off to a fairly epic start, that is of course until the saxophone kicks in. Yes, I said saxophone. Seriously, this guy has lost his mind.
To summarize, this album is what you'd get if a neo-nazi starred in that infamous scene in the movie Big. Though unintentionally hilarious, the album drags on way too long, so even the most comedic of elements just becomes unrelentingly boring. I mean, it's not a total loss, as I said it's pretty funny, at least for a little while, and it does have a few redeeming melodies, but on the whole…no. Just no. There's almost no way to enjoy this album, because even if you take it in the B-Horror “intentionally bad” way of thinking, it's still boring as hell. I'm sorry, but hearing a crazy-man play a Casio for 40 minutes just doesn't interest me, but if you're a major Burzum fanboy or you really love MIDI, well, maybe you should check it out. Otherwise, I say avoid this at all costs, even if it costs you nothing but time. This sounds like a scratch demo for an album that will never be released.
And maybe Varg Vikernes isn't actually insane, but if that's the case, then he's much too sure of himself. For now, I'm going with crazy. It's been said that when Varg is released from prison he will return to the sound from earlier Burzum albums. Well, here's hoping, because if this is really supposed to serve as a prelude to the battle of Ragnarök, well, then the Norwegians are up for a pretty anti-climatic end of the world.
Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage?