Chiodos
All's Well That Ends Well


1.5
very poor

Review

by Joe Costa USER (34 Reviews)
January 7th, 2007 | 256 replies


Release Date: 2005 | Tracklist

Review Summary: Something Corporate+Unearth=This is really a terrible piece of generic music.

Originality is a difficult thing to come by nowadays. Very few artists can really even be considered that in this day and age, so for the most part, originality is judged by how well an artist can incorporate different styles of music into their music. Some bands, such as The Mars Volta succeed at this, incorporating elements of Latin and post-hardcore into progressive rock, something that no one before them had tried. But for every band that actually tries to do something original and succeeds, there are at least ten that fail. Enter “experimental” popcore act Chiodos. Chiodos formed in Michigan back in 2001, but really, a back story isn’t necessary for the band, as it’s the same as just about every other local band-turned-national phenomenon.

One of the most quickly recognizable aspects of Chiodos is vocalist Craig Owens. Like many of his contemporaries in the post-hardcore genre, Owens both screams and sings, and like many of his more popular contemporaries, its safe to say that he is not talented in either department. Owen’s clean vocals are bad. Coming off like a less talented Claudio Sanchez, Owens sings in falsetto nearly the entire record. And while there is the rare occasion that he tries to change pitch (“We’re Gonna Have Us a Champagne Jam” and “The Words ‘Best Friend’ Become Redefined”), he just comes off as entirely too whiny and pre-pubescent for it to work. But probably the most un-listenable part about his vocal performance is the fact that he cannot even carry a note out three-quarters of the time. His vocals are just generally terrible throughout the entire album, and causing for one of the least enjoyable aspects of the album.

Musically, All's Well is standard post-hardcore fare for the most part. The guitar work is largely arpeggios and the occasional down-tuned chug coupled with the occasional octave chords, which, while admittedly well-performed, becomes quite irritating after the first chorus or so. The drumming, which I once read somewhere described as 'hyper-technical', is again just standard fare, with really nothing interesting to add at all. Like their contemporaries in Underoath (and millions upon millions of rip-off bands), Chiodos has a synth player that also plays the electric piano, something that is rarely seen in this brand off sugary post-hardcore. Unfortunately, many times the piano and synths don't really add anything truly interesting to the mix, tending to sound either woefully out of place or not present enough to make much of a difference. On tracks like "The Words 'Best Friend' Become Redefined", which tries to center the main verse on the waltzing piano line, almost sounds intriguing, but is quickly ruined by the chill-inducingly bad vocals of Craig Owens and then the same breakdown which you've probably heard ten times by now on the album.

But even with capable musicianship, the style of music that the band is playing just isn't enjoyable in any capacity. Chiodos tries to juxtapose moments of "beauty" created by the piano lines and soft-vocals with moments of "chaos" allegedly created by the thrashing, metal-toned, guitars, and while this may work with bands like Opeth (who create not only more chaotic and brutal moments but much more fulfilling moments of beauty), and aside from "No Hardcore Dancing in the Living Room", Chiodos falls flat on their face when it comes to the hard-soft dynamic.

Even so, the fact that almost all of the songs on the album sound completely similar to one another doesn't help the case of All's Well That Ends Well. Between the album's three singles ("One Day Women Will All Become Monsters", "Baby, You Wouldn't Last a Minute On the Creek", "The Words 'Best Friend' Become Redefined"), its nearly impossible to tell the difference between "One Day" and "Baby", and the vocal performance from "The Words Best Friend" is pretty much interchangeable with the other two, and the same holds true for just about every other song on the album. Even the prelude and two interludes (some of the best moments the album has to offer are actually found on the two interludes, offering up an atmospheric change of pace), tend to use a similar piano line throughout which proves to be irritating, as opposed to lending a sense of flow to the whole mess.

It's been a while since I've newly discovered an album this bad. I went into this thinking that it had to have at least enough technicality for me to enjoy, but soon discovering that his album was mired in mediocre musicianship and terrible vocals, on top of an uninteresting sound and one that doesn't seem to change the entire album. Listen to this album only if you feel insecure in your music taste, and only listen to it to reaffirm the belief that "hey, I don't suck that badly, I could have made this shitheap".

Recommended Tracks: Interlude 1, Interlude 2, No Hardcore Dancing in the Living Room



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user ratings (1070)
Chart.
3.2
good
other reviews of this album
1 of
  • Justin Taslak (3)
    Both better and worse than people make it out to be, All's Well That Ends Well is baby ste...

    Sean Rizzo (2.5)
    The most innovative generic album ever!...

    RIPkezia (5)
    Chiodos, a relatively new band on the hardcore scene, is able to provide an remarkable com...

    labonza01 (4)
    "All's Well that Ends Well" Is an album that shines through today's music scene with it's ...

  • WilliaMega (4)
    ...


Comments:Add a Comment 
mynameischan
Staff Reviewer
January 7th 2007


17920 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Good stuff.

IsItLuck?
Emeritus
January 7th 2007


4927 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I kind of..umm...totally agree.

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
January 7th 2007


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

There are some things I think you exaggerated (like you do in all your super-negative reviews), but overall I agree.

JumpTheF**kUp
January 7th 2007


2710 Comments


One of my friends loves these guys. I refuse to listen to them because of this.
Good review.

Iluvatar
Staff Reviewer
January 7th 2007


16089 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

You refuse to listen to too much music, fyi.

Intransit
January 7th 2007


2797 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

[quote=lu lu the gay figure skating panda]There are some things I think you exaggerated (like you do in all your super-negative reviews), but overall I agree.[/quote]
No you lie this sucks so does uh ClipseThis Message Edited On 01.07.07

ToWhatEnd
January 7th 2007


3172 Comments

Album Rating: 3.0

Eh I like Baby, There's No Penguins, and Best Friend's but you do make some good points. For me Craig's vocals just become tiresome over time. I guess I just prefer this in small doeses. I do agree some things here are exaggerated but at the same time you state your opinion well and in a convincing manner. Good stuff on the review.

JumpTheF**kUp
January 7th 2007


2710 Comments


You refuse to listen to too much music, fyi.

I know, but I'm gonna try some Circle Takes the Square and stuff. I didn't listen to this because my friend listens to Hawthorne Heights/loves them, and says that he loves these guys as well. You'll forgive me for immediately disregarding all of his musical tastes?

godLike
January 8th 2007


126 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Horrbile music, excellent review.
It was very hard to listen to the entire record.

/votes

iarescientists
January 8th 2007


5863 Comments


cool

sdonnell
January 8th 2007


40 Comments

Album Rating: 2.5

Haha, very entertaining review, but it's not THAT bad. I agree on the repetitiveness and the (at times) awful vocals, but these songs are catchy as hell. "The Words 'Best Friend..." has an odd ass structure to it and a sick hip-hop beat thrown into the mix. I'm surprised you didn't acknowledge that. Fun review of a guilty pleasure band.

Hatshepsut
January 8th 2007


1997 Comments


Great review. I randomly chose this on my iPod but decided not to listen to it. haha.

Electric City
Staff Reviewer
January 8th 2007


15743 Comments


This isn't as bad as you say it is. Then again, I'm only listened to No HXC Dancing and Baby... more than once.

Digging: Flying Lotus - You're Dead!

slep
January 8th 2007


1604 Comments


This CD went no where. Waste of money.


Serpento
January 8th 2007


2351 Comments


[Quote=Jump]One of my friends loves these guys.[/quote]Same. I tried to get into them for his sake, but no chance. The CD literally made my ears hurt, they're really that horrible IMO.This Message Edited On 01.08.07

Intransit
January 8th 2007


2797 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

I can safely say that they are probably the biggest audio disaster since the sound of animals fighting.

TheMisterBungle
January 8th 2007


861 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

I'm doing a SOAF review right now. This Message Edited On 01.08.07

slep
January 8th 2007


1604 Comments


^^ Yeah except SOAF are somewhat decent.

TheMisterBungle
January 8th 2007


861 Comments

Album Rating: 2.0

Yeah, I like 'em.

Intransit
January 8th 2007


2797 Comments

Album Rating: 1.5

Eww no.



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